Christmas Day Vigil

As I sit with my friend, and landmate during this pre-active dying process there is a continual reminder of the paradox of Life and Death. The frequency of the atmosphere is getting finer and finer as he shifts. Most commonly called 'Hallucination', it appears more as a housecleaning, and releasing of the Old that is inhibiting the transition from Earthly body to Vastness of Being.
Just as everyone lives their life in their own uniqueness, so too our dying is done. Without agenda other than to be Comfort in Moment to Moment Presence, there is the underlying beauty of this Vigil atmosphere.
The death of a loved one rips open; gods hand demanding complete residence. Yet, there first is the railing of 'How can there be a God who does this?'. All must pass through these portals to Meet our Truths.
There is the depth of neutrality here, the human condition allows for grief and loss, the Spirit Knows what resides Here always. This Heart is the Heart of all now. There is no individual attachment found in these moments that imply 'loss'.

Blessings to all who travel the path of Being With.

Turning Times of Seasonal Shift

Birth of second grandson, James Samuel, and the Cancer Dance Journey of Landmate, Kenny brings to the foreground the impermanence of this we call Life. Recently there have been reminders of the fact that if all particulate matter was brought together, all space removed, it would amount to the size of a pea.

The profoundly brilliant capability of the mind to manufacture in such detail the existence of what is perceived is continually amazing. And that it can imagine the Universe, the particles, the space, and the pea. oh yeah, and the human! All concepts of the mind.

Humans exist because they exist in the mind, not only the individual mind but the cultural mind, the earthly mind, the mind of mass consciousness. One can be ignorant of that fact, or one can become aware of that fact.

Who wants to know this fact that will eradicate ones existence? Who wants to unravel the multidimensional threads of the tapestry of our existence? Only a Fool I suppose. To what purpose does this Knowing serve?

Building over the last several decades has been an increase in sensing an impending big shift or change coming. Every religion, philosophy, spiritual path has explanations and answers, each with its own validation of its particularity of Rightness.
Perhaps the impending change is that all will come to know what the movie THE MATRIX has revealed, its a program running, and we are running with it. But what the movie doesn't reveal, or at least that I can recall, is that there is nothing on the other side of the program, nothing as an option, no-thing, nothing.
Even as i type this the constructs of my own existence rattle and rail at the possibility that all the efforting, growth, deep introspection, and plum hard life stuff has no 'value', no substance, no purpose. Perhaps only to hone the system of constructs called 'Sunny' to be relatively receptive to the fact that IT doesn't exist!

There is enough knowing here to know IT doesnt exist, and, although there still is much participation in the human scenario, there never leaves the consciousness that what is happening or appearing to happen is not THAT, the Real, the Vast Nothingness.
There seems to be honing of a kindness, a gentleness toward others as they are fully engaged in the appearances. No longer driven by the urgency that kept Sunny seeking to Know, now 'Sunny' Knows, and knows it is Known. Nothing more to do. Each interaction will reflect its particularity of engagement, and be responded to in a kind manner. It is not anyone's 'job' to blow open anyone and everyone's perception, unless, of course, if they ask. Even then they are only asking from the conceptual minds view.

In the realm of no-thought, no existence, Existence Exists.
In the realm of Realization there is separation, for if there is something realizing something then there only can be a something previously not realized. It does point to a directional movement of Existence Realizing Itself, and yet it may too be realizing itself just as fully as an active member of mass consciousness fully imbibing in the delusion and distortion of Human experience.

In Kirkland, Washington there is a week old baby boy whom I have not yet met, who is a part of the lineage passing through this one called 'Sunny'. To what degree there will be participation in his life is unknown at this time, as are many relationship interactions, no longer known or planned. The Unfolding of each moment now gives ground for the Realization of All that Is, Here, Now. Nothing more than what is Here.
Here in the recliner a few feet away is my friend, Kenny, sleeping, resting, as the body goes through its attempts to claim and own Life. Again no longer known or planned. Moment by Moment, Life Is.

All my life there has been a tenacious striving for the elusive knowing of what wasn't known. The drive was visceral. Others have used many words to describe their perceptions and interpretation of ITs expression. IT is gone now, as is remnants of the particularities of 'Sunny'. Yes, the name still turns my head, answers, gets me through the airport security system, but no longer filled with a desire to Know. The old Habit Body, the Pain Body, the concentrations of limited view have less and less momentum, they have become less effectual.

New eyes
New Life
New Mind
Awaits the Moments Arrival
Here
Now
Being No-thing More.

Blessings in the Experience of Life and how it Dances You!
Sunny

Giving.......Thanks........Giving

These days are ripe with the beckonings of Fall/ Winter transitions; harvesting the plethora of pumpkins from the garden reflects the 'just desserts' being harvested within from Summers labors. The drawing in, drawing from within, to draw from....deepening the embodiment of Knowledge reaped from Summers harvest of Essential Seeds planted, nurtured, and fed.

Second grandson is due to arrive not long after first grandsons second birthday this coming Saturday. Dear friend Peter left his form just weeks ago. Life comes Life goes, nothing changes but the form.

These Turning Times are ever increasing in all factors. Some experience more pressure, faster passage of time, a sense of calm urgency, or an urgent emergence!
Like the plants beneath an adequate sun, with balance of water, air, and mineral we are growing and being grown, quickened. As the plants in late summer and fall begin to store the sugars, to sweeten naturally. This past two days of cold weather and dusting of snow reminds us of the natural mechanism within to heat, to warm.

Listen to the body, with the heart. Listen for the whispers of guidance, nudges to step away from conditioning and social training. Begin, and continue to deepen relationship with the only guidance there is, the paradoxical Guru Within that is No Where.

The senses perceive, the mind categorizes: Essence Sees and Knows.
Beyond the senses and the categories there is an expansiveness that includes all phenomena. Be in Life the expansiveness of Life, allow senses to perceive and unperceive. That which comes and goes is a vapor trail of the underlying arising of Life in Essential formlessness temporarily taking form. See What IS, not what is perceived.

Gratitude and Thanks for the technology that allows this expression. and for the expressions of Life appearing as mentors, friends and loved ones.
Blessed Be!
Happy Thanks Day!!

Transistions....

Is it the Times? my age? Gallactic Influences? Alien Implants gone screwy? or am i perhaps just crossing over the line into insanity?
Compression, tension, pressure seems to be building. I hear from so many people their experiencing of these states. I feel it myself. People are dying. People are suicidal. People are dosing themselves bigger and bigger on ideas to get them excited, motivated, moving away from whatever it is they are feeling that is apparently not acceptable.
This is difficult, painful, uncomfortable, yet it is what is presenting itself. To do anything but face it is avoidance, denial. This trac is not for the faint of heart. Is it the 'right way' to be? I dont know. I know that experiencing trying to change how I feel, or what is happening has lead to pain. I know that this moment holds everything. And this moment right now appears as compression, tension, and pressure.

A seed dropped from dried flowers head
Enveloped well in damp soils bed
For Fall and Winters Holding Time
'Til Springs Touch does remind
That Sun and warmth does magic bring
Seeds hardened shell to newly sing
Light songs of Springs Softening
To Dance yet again
In this, the Cycle of Life.

Unfolding Life is Mystery.
Revealing only that which is needed NOW.
I get so impatient, scared, excited, enthusiastic, compressed.......etc....etc......etc...........

Revealings....

Every circumstance person event etc has the alchemical potency to reveal an aspect of ourselves that is coming to consciousness. The mechanisms of the personality are complex. There is no 'one way'. Each moment is to be met freshly.
Today, this moment, provides a glimpse of facets of this complexity.
After years of living a dedicated monk-like life I tentatively explored more social interaction including a brief and powerful experience of the dating consciousness. After meeting with an acquaintance for an extended day of getting to know one another i experienced 'being touched' deeply, in a way I had not ever experienced. Powerful, deep. Having had theses sensations it became so clear that the Mind was immediate in its taking the preciousness of initial Touching and making it into forms, expressions, and meanings that 'fit' in day to day life. The most blatant was that it immediately made it about THAT PERSON.
How can it be that when an experience within is strong and clear that the mind so quickly points to an 'object' appearing as outside ourselves and says 'THAT is the cause of this'. Forever grateful I am to the person who willingly entered into this alchemical potent meeting that also experienced deep activation, but to make it THEM and forget about the Source seems to be missing the point of what Grace provides.
to be continued.......

this day....

Cracking Open.....

Ache in the chest as Heart is stretched, pulled, coaxed, drawn Open.
Tears lingering on eyelashes for most the day.
Everything looks kinda fuzzy, yet more clear than ever.
Paradox after paradox.
Old images, old bits and pieces of lifes 'owies' appearing
as exiting ghosts gleefully fleeing!
Nothing new but the freshness of Not Knowing
Nervous system vibrating incoherently
resonating with the Tone of Home.
This Homing Beacon
This Tractor Beam has me
Yes i say
yes and yes again
there is NOTHING else desired here but the essence of Yes.

Living Awareness

In the ongoing Unfolding in this one called Sunny, there has been many arguments along the way regarding the application of the truths of Awareness Present and the tasks and responsibilities of daily life. The Argumentor I call it, is avid, enthusiastic, precise, and acute in perception.

This aspect has been a fine one to keep the Inquiry fires burning hot, honing the process to a fine sharp edge now capable of cutting through more course fabrics of illusionary perceptions, crystallized conditionings, and the mechanicality of what I refer to as the Habit Body.

For a long arduous time there was struggle, investigation, argument. Well placed and utilized as it was, it subtly maintained polarity, duality. None of which, upon seeing it for what it was looked at all like I thought it would! (A revealing clue of the thinking we do and where it leads us, and steers us elsewhere!)

The integration of Awareness has eased the grip and reactivity of the Argumentor. There is, well, an integration happening. Challenging to formulate accurately, the Veils of illusion are being lifted mroe frequently in the midst of the daily 'outer' life, revealing it for the Essence that it is, rather than inviting the belief in the presentation or, style, of the moment as it is Unfolding.

I continue to explore and deepen with the Formations insight, the Mitosis Insight recently written of. There is powerful insight and support available when Mind with its powers of registering detail, cataloging and sorting, turned to the more subtle and fine sensings of Lifes arising at the moment of transforming from Unseen to Seen, from Non-manifest to Manifest.

The course layers of finite perception are being gently sanded moment after moment with the realizations and verifications of the existence of Existence. The Unnameable undeniably experienced and respectfully remaining unnamed. At the cellular level there is tremendous support for Freedom to arise. Freedom from the holding of limited thinking, contracted feeling, and structured movement.

As the days of investigation continue there has been an increase in physical energy, an release of chronic sensations of pain and limited movement in various parts of the physical body, and a broadening in Understanding of what is perceived and its underlying meanings.

For a variety of reasons it has been 15 years since I had been able to run. i now jog 1.5 miles every morning. For the past two years I had an ongoing debilitating chronic pain in my abdomen, gone it is now for a month, Emotional pain from relationships that have dissolved rather than playing the same emotional loop time after time there is expanded consciousness and Understanding of the broader vibrational pallet being played out. Nothing lost, everything gained.

This bridge point of Light into Life, Unseen to the Seen where Nothing changes into Every Thing
yet Nothing changed at all is a transformative ingoing unending Fountain of Essence.

I welcome dialog regarding the experiences of this nature.
May this Day and all its Moments Bless you with meeting your Self!!!!

Formation Insight

This is the first draft, a rough draft of the recent Insight and Realization experienced.
This is being developed into a longer writing, as the Realization continues to be embodied.

Please read with All your bodies, allow/invite the mental body to co-operate with ALL that is You.

Mitosis is the process in which the organic structure renews itself. Cells divide, replicating the structure, DNA, function and Purpose. It is estimated that the human body, depending on its size, is made up of approximately 100 trillion cells. The female sex cell, the oocyte, is about 35 microns in diameter, which puts it just on the edge of being visible if you have real good eyes. The male sex cell, spermatozoan, cell is only about 3 microns in diameter, and therefore is the smallest cell of the human body. Various other cell types have various other sizes within this range.

A cell whose receptors hold toxins, or less appropriate elements, minerals, etc., will release those toxins, etc. if the appropriate nutrients are in proximity to the cell membrane, AND easily and naturally absorb the more appropriate nutrients. (Juicy nutritional fact from Jan Yoder, acupuncturist and nutritionist in Vancouver, Washington).

From the above two statements two presumptions have been made;
cell division is happening at all times, and,
cells display an interactive aspect, an inherent ability to choose 'health'.

These aspects of cellular activity of the human body were taken into Inquiry/Meditation/deep Self-Observation where the following observations and experiences arose.

It is 'given' that there is something that causes the formation of physical Life, in this particular case, the human body. 'Something' comes to Life, Life comes to life. Many words and ways of languaging put forth the idea within a manner that 'makes sense'. There has been experience of this essential rising. I will not call it anything in particular at this time.

As Life forms Itself in the cell, and continues its formation via mitosis, the essential 'coming to Life' desire, activity, purpose is passed into every cell created. This formulation stems from observing and investigating the window of cell division that could be referred to as 'Where One becomes the Two'.

Life exists in the originating cell. As does that cells particular structure and purpose. Each cell, when duplicating itself makes another of itself; structure and purpose exact. Skin cells do not make sex cells. The cell also apparently carries with it the impressions of living. It has been said in many ways by many different teachers/teachings that our story, our history, our experiences, attitudes, beliefs, and ancestral patternings are held within the very cells of us.

At the moment of cell division when structure and purpose have been transferred there is a 'gap' a pause, an window where the new cell is pure in its existence; Life in its fullest pure physical formation, structure, function, purpose in place yet nothing of the story, the history, the memory, the identity and identification transferred as yet. It is said that the cell at this point is that of a newborn; pure, vital health. No aging, no history, no limitations.

If, at this very moment, the new cell is surrounded with the atmosphere of expanded consciousness, beyond the limitations of the material perspective, the new cell will release any of the potential continuation of the story, history, habit, identification, and, due to its ability to absorb the more accurate within its atmosphere it will fully absorb the more pure authentic nutrients of expanded consciousness.

This moment, Where the One becomes the Two, this Moment, THIS NOWness is a choice point. A place where the individual, in dedicating themselves to the expansion of consciousness from the limited, relative, material world to that which is all inclusive is transformative. Transformative in the practice itself of honing the atmosphere surrounding the cells, AND transformative as the new cells are formed without the limitations previously also held in the cell membrane.

It is suggested that as one is going to sleep at night to celebrate the arrival of these new pure cells, to increase the Awareness in the atmosphere of the consciousness of the body.

In working with this via Inquiry, Meditation, and varied daily practices I am expereiencing a tremendous alteration in the experience of life; renewed physical energy and appropriate weight loss, fresh open perspective toward life, deeply rooted happiness.

But please, don't take my word for it. check it out, try it out, investigate it. And let me know how it is for You!

Just think.... 100 trillion cells dividing.... so many choice points!

Thank you for reading.
Many blessings in this ongoing Unfolding!
In Love,
Sunny

Timeless Grace

Mind says "this will take a long time."
Heart says, "I cannot wait."
Body says, "this hurts."
All the While You
Tear me Open
to receive
your Full Embrace
unencumbered by the clutter
of my missed understandings.
How I ache in this Meloncholy
Brought about by the Bliss of You
Having set up housekeeping in my Soul
As I continue to walk the driveway
Looking for the mail with Your Return Address!!!

Simplicity

Every complication that rises
Is a gentle invitation
For the Breath to arrive
Unbidden, pure, simple.

This, and only This....

Be still, for there is nothing more than Stillness.
Stillness is in every moment of Life Unfolding.
Be Still, for there is only Stillness within all activity.
Reside in Stillness, beyond the point of understanding.
Breathe Stillness, for the Breath of Life informs Everything.
Stillness is the foundation of all arising.
Be Stillness and all that is needed is available.
Everything that is needed is Within Stillness.