The Mind is so quick to interpret: "oh, yes, 'body', I know THAT", etc etc etc. I type this because this is what I see happen in this cranial vessel over and over and over again. A word, a phrase, automatically Mind 'thinks'. Whew first troublesome spot right there!
Trouble, no trouble. It doesnt matter. Investigation continues, invited and welcomed with curiosity.
Today the experience of something vast (so big it seems appropriate to write in large letters; V A S T!!!) gently entering this physical body, from crown, through head, past throat, expanding Heart, and slowly, everso gently nudging past the internal gate keeper of belly/will. The approach was so gentle, so respectful and irresistible there was a softening of the guard placed there so long ago.
A taste of Presence filling the first two chakras. There have been 'drive-bys' of Presence in Belly and pelvic region but this, this felt different. It was a filling, a fulling, a full-filling feeling. Complete with the Guard also easing.
Dinner came soon after, and didnt sit well. An hour walk down the country road where I now reside, strong steps, soft steps seemed to assist in anchoring something of this new movement in lower body.
Poor Mind doesnt know what to do with it! Thank GOD!!!
This may be familiar territory for most, I dont know. It is an aspect awakening for me. Paradoxical, from the 'I' that truly resides in this physical form there is an 'of course!' that there would be Presence in the body. And the clarity and recognition of Source Present again is 'of course'. There seems to be something of import to the experience, the knowing of the sensation, of knowing what is moving, and what is still, and what is healing. And none of it my 'doing'!
Yes, yes, YES, and YES!!! I say, and Yes again and again.
Blessings to us all as we come to Know who we truly are.
May all Beings Know Peace and the Roots of Peace,
Sunny Sundaram
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
A New Beginning.....
This is my first night in my room here at HeartGate Sanctuary in Hood River, Oregon.
The ring of resonance and clarity of me being here in this community is deep and strong.
Postings are not about the 'where' I am, they are a reflection of my inner process, and what is alive in me as Life Unfolds.
It's late, I am sleepy, and happy, and humming with a precious simplicity of being in the Flow.
Blessings and Blessings abound,
Sunny Sundaram
The ring of resonance and clarity of me being here in this community is deep and strong.
Postings are not about the 'where' I am, they are a reflection of my inner process, and what is alive in me as Life Unfolds.
It's late, I am sleepy, and happy, and humming with a precious simplicity of being in the Flow.
Blessings and Blessings abound,
Sunny Sundaram
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
A funny story.....
As I was driving out of Hood River yesterday heading to Portland, I passed a sign for mini storage. Made sense to stop in and find out the charges and sizes available.
I went to the office door, "CLOSED" said the sign, "I am in appointments and unable to find back up staff. The gates are open today, I'll be back tomorrow."
Okay, says I, the gates are open. I'll go in an check it out, see how it feels.
Sure enough the gate is open, I drive in, peruse the grounds and the layout, determine it would work for my needs, turn the car around and head back out.
ohho, 'out' now has a closed gate across it!!!
I pull up to the asphalt right in front of the gate. Nothing happens.
I go to the keypad box and push some arbitrary numbers, the 'CALL MANAGER' Light flashes.
hmm, yes good idea, call the manager.
A gentleman is walking past, I gesture through the bars of the gate, "Can you come here a moment?"
He walks over with a puzzled expression, "Yes?" His body leans back a bit, away from the gate, away from possible range of my extended hand.
"I've got myself in a bit of a pickle. I am locked in here, and have no way out. Would you go to the office and see if there is a phone number on the door or window that I might call to get out of here?"
"sure." says the kind man.
Upon return he reports there is no number.
hmmm.......
Oh wait! There is a Security Systems number on the gate!!! with a phone number! yea! I'll call them!! (beginning to feel the first wave of gratitude for technology and a cell phone in my hand!)
ring, ring.....
"Hello, I accidentally got stuck INside a gate that has this phone number on it. Can you help me?"
"No, we would have to have a call from the manager in order to open the gate."
"The manager is not here."
"We cant open the gate without the managers request."
"Can you call the manager?"
"No, we dont have his number."
"Do you have any suggestions of what I can do?"
"Maybe you can call the cops."
okay......
I wait for 20 minutes hoping someone would be coming into their storage unit. nope, no traffic.
Feeling a lot of gratitude for technology, that I have a phone to use, I call Ryan in Bellevue, who looks online for the Hood River non emergency police department number.
Bingo!
I call, explain my predicament, the dispatcher takes my name and number, "Can I call you back in a minute?"
hmm, is there any other answer but , "Yes!".
a minute goes by......
the phone rings,
"Do you see a yellow keypad box near the gate?"
"Hallalujah, yes!"
She gives me the code, I punch it in and the gate opens.
Free at last, my god I'm free at last!!!!!
Makes me laugh!!
Hope this gives you a good chuckle and some great visuals!!
Drink the Giggles!
Sunny
I went to the office door, "CLOSED" said the sign, "I am in appointments and unable to find back up staff. The gates are open today, I'll be back tomorrow."
Okay, says I, the gates are open. I'll go in an check it out, see how it feels.
Sure enough the gate is open, I drive in, peruse the grounds and the layout, determine it would work for my needs, turn the car around and head back out.
ohho, 'out' now has a closed gate across it!!!
I pull up to the asphalt right in front of the gate. Nothing happens.
I go to the keypad box and push some arbitrary numbers, the 'CALL MANAGER' Light flashes.
hmm, yes good idea, call the manager.
A gentleman is walking past, I gesture through the bars of the gate, "Can you come here a moment?"
He walks over with a puzzled expression, "Yes?" His body leans back a bit, away from the gate, away from possible range of my extended hand.
"I've got myself in a bit of a pickle. I am locked in here, and have no way out. Would you go to the office and see if there is a phone number on the door or window that I might call to get out of here?"
"sure." says the kind man.
Upon return he reports there is no number.
hmmm.......
Oh wait! There is a Security Systems number on the gate!!! with a phone number! yea! I'll call them!! (beginning to feel the first wave of gratitude for technology and a cell phone in my hand!)
ring, ring.....
"Hello, I accidentally got stuck INside a gate that has this phone number on it. Can you help me?"
"No, we would have to have a call from the manager in order to open the gate."
"The manager is not here."
"We cant open the gate without the managers request."
"Can you call the manager?"
"No, we dont have his number."
"Do you have any suggestions of what I can do?"
"Maybe you can call the cops."
okay......
I wait for 20 minutes hoping someone would be coming into their storage unit. nope, no traffic.
Feeling a lot of gratitude for technology, that I have a phone to use, I call Ryan in Bellevue, who looks online for the Hood River non emergency police department number.
Bingo!
I call, explain my predicament, the dispatcher takes my name and number, "Can I call you back in a minute?"
hmm, is there any other answer but , "Yes!".
a minute goes by......
the phone rings,
"Do you see a yellow keypad box near the gate?"
"Hallalujah, yes!"
She gives me the code, I punch it in and the gate opens.
Free at last, my god I'm free at last!!!!!
Makes me laugh!!
Hope this gives you a good chuckle and some great visuals!!
Drink the Giggles!
Sunny
The Origami of Life......
Life folds this way, unfolds that way, folds over here, unfolds over there. Am I the crease? Am I the paper? and I the hands?
With Origami, folding and unfolding with care reveals a new form, a new manifestation. Made from the same stuff, nothing has been changed.
There is a 'YES' ringing in me to drop the layers and return to simplicity.
Pray
Listen
Do what I am told.
Bringing the bent over shadow to upright posture, there is Light.
few words right now rise.
Many blessings, much love.
Sunny
With Origami, folding and unfolding with care reveals a new form, a new manifestation. Made from the same stuff, nothing has been changed.
There is a 'YES' ringing in me to drop the layers and return to simplicity.
Pray
Listen
Do what I am told.
Bringing the bent over shadow to upright posture, there is Light.
few words right now rise.
Many blessings, much love.
Sunny
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Angels answer........
Standing in line at the Licensing Office to get my drivers license this morning, I had some conversation with St. Michael. Part of this conversation was internal as a result of reading from the Pocket Reader Tibetan Buddhism, from Shambhala Press ( I LOVE these little books!), and part of it was from conversation with a local gent.
Investigation continues as to where disconnect from Self activates, and the ongoing awareness that the outer experience is a shadow of the inner experience, this mornings waiting in line was a good opportunity to be with the sensations of the Body, the activity of the Mind, and the arising of Heart.
The compression that is bubbling through is amazing. In the physical realm there is compression of the density and movement of people. Mind is, hmmm, teetering, yes, thats a good description right now. Teetering back and forth, to and fro. HA! Like the blow up clown with the heavy weight in the bottom that a child might punch and hit and it pops back to center... mostly! Riding that Bobble is honing something that is being strengthened and softened simultaneously. Seeing it, not going with it, being with it, remembering over and over it is not real.
I am aware of the formula; thought -> feeling -> action/behavior, watching the thoughts come and go, watching how quickly the Mind informs the Feelings, and the body so quickly and willingly responds. And not 'going with it'.
This is the ride I am on for these days, walking in Two Worlds. My prayer could be distilled to:
"where's my peeps!??!"
"Show me where you want me!!"
"Help!"
So conversation with St. Michael invited increasing posture of receptivity, remembering, and re-remembering this Moment is what IS, shifting my weight slightly side to side, bring the Body into view. This activity softened the Heart.
Turning to the gent in line next to me, "Good morning."
A smile that lit up, eyes twinkling, "Well, good morning to you Sir!"
Aaaah, connection with this other manifestation of Life. Thank you!
We chatted about the process of moving. He reminded me to not complain of the weather, it will lead to complaining about the weather, then one is complaining, and miserable. Better to not complain, he says. I needed THAT reminder! Gave me something to work with as Winter comes.
Business completed there, leaving the building I thank him for his conversation and wisdom. The handshake is firm, and warm. Welcoming.
Finding the library down the street I set up laptop at a large table and go online. A young man soon sits down with laptop.
"Is that a crescent moon tattooed on your wrist?" his eyes lit up.
"Yes, a reminder of the much needed Goddess presence. More now than ever, doncha think?"
"yes!!!", he says,"!Oh, we are few and far between here on the Eastside, good to meet you. I my self am a Celtic Warrior."
Lifting his shirt he reveals a beautiful and finely done Celtic cross in Celtic Green centered over his heart.
"Where does one find others here?" Michael's warm hand rests calmly on my left shoulder.
"aah, there's a shop. I cant remember the name, but I can draw you a map, and they can lead you to what is needed."
Map in hand, my email addy in his, I sit here. Eased, stunned, softened tears of release and relief.
Michaels hand remains, as he gently steps to the background, always supportive to allow whatever experience is chosen.
This terrain in which I am traveling is far more than I can comprehend. I can only report from moment to moment.
With Gratitude for the Internet, and the form in which I can paradoxically be in deep privacy, in the middle of a mall, talking to I Dont Know Who, revealing this Journey, revealing my Self to myself. Safe, vulnerable. Precious.
Humbly yours,
Sunny Sundaram
Investigation continues as to where disconnect from Self activates, and the ongoing awareness that the outer experience is a shadow of the inner experience, this mornings waiting in line was a good opportunity to be with the sensations of the Body, the activity of the Mind, and the arising of Heart.
The compression that is bubbling through is amazing. In the physical realm there is compression of the density and movement of people. Mind is, hmmm, teetering, yes, thats a good description right now. Teetering back and forth, to and fro. HA! Like the blow up clown with the heavy weight in the bottom that a child might punch and hit and it pops back to center... mostly! Riding that Bobble is honing something that is being strengthened and softened simultaneously. Seeing it, not going with it, being with it, remembering over and over it is not real.
I am aware of the formula; thought -> feeling -> action/behavior, watching the thoughts come and go, watching how quickly the Mind informs the Feelings, and the body so quickly and willingly responds. And not 'going with it'.
This is the ride I am on for these days, walking in Two Worlds. My prayer could be distilled to:
"where's my peeps!??!"
"Show me where you want me!!"
"Help!"
So conversation with St. Michael invited increasing posture of receptivity, remembering, and re-remembering this Moment is what IS, shifting my weight slightly side to side, bring the Body into view. This activity softened the Heart.
Turning to the gent in line next to me, "Good morning."
A smile that lit up, eyes twinkling, "Well, good morning to you Sir!"
Aaaah, connection with this other manifestation of Life. Thank you!
We chatted about the process of moving. He reminded me to not complain of the weather, it will lead to complaining about the weather, then one is complaining, and miserable. Better to not complain, he says. I needed THAT reminder! Gave me something to work with as Winter comes.
Business completed there, leaving the building I thank him for his conversation and wisdom. The handshake is firm, and warm. Welcoming.
Finding the library down the street I set up laptop at a large table and go online. A young man soon sits down with laptop.
"Is that a crescent moon tattooed on your wrist?" his eyes lit up.
"Yes, a reminder of the much needed Goddess presence. More now than ever, doncha think?"
"yes!!!", he says,"!Oh, we are few and far between here on the Eastside, good to meet you. I my self am a Celtic Warrior."
Lifting his shirt he reveals a beautiful and finely done Celtic cross in Celtic Green centered over his heart.
"Where does one find others here?" Michael's warm hand rests calmly on my left shoulder.
"aah, there's a shop. I cant remember the name, but I can draw you a map, and they can lead you to what is needed."
Map in hand, my email addy in his, I sit here. Eased, stunned, softened tears of release and relief.
Michaels hand remains, as he gently steps to the background, always supportive to allow whatever experience is chosen.
This terrain in which I am traveling is far more than I can comprehend. I can only report from moment to moment.
With Gratitude for the Internet, and the form in which I can paradoxically be in deep privacy, in the middle of a mall, talking to I Dont Know Who, revealing this Journey, revealing my Self to myself. Safe, vulnerable. Precious.
Humbly yours,
Sunny Sundaram
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Such a Dance!!!
Seems the strong point in Life is connecting. Seems the weaker point is getting the ground where connecting happens!
Every day, every moment is a possible moment to Realize Awareness, to manifest Life fully, (hmmm, nice word; 'Lifefully'). With the activities of looking for home, for place to participate in the Financial Energy Exchange (yes, there does appear to be a FEE!!! eheheh!!!!), I get to see the hundreds of ways Sunny believes the relative world as real. Not so, again and again, the shift from the asleep state to an awakened one can be made in a fraction of a nano second. A good practice.
Some say the Soul incarnates to learn particular 'lessons' in order to develop. I wonder, if that is true, what is it my Soul is trying so hard to learn, and am I in the way? and what does that 'in the way' really look like? or is it learning what is needed no matter what 'I' do? Like velcro, I 'think' (error #1) 'If I do something ' then I can turn it around, there wont be struggle (who IS struggling anyway?).
Like a large knotted bundle of yarn full of stickers, I am unraveling, and not unraveling. Maybe I am suppose to be raveled?
A small voice in me whispers,
{{{{{ 'now is the time to drop it all, just wait, there is nothing to do, and no one to do it!'}}}}}
WHOA!!!!! who is gonna find the job? locate the housing? find the Kirtan?
Slow down there, all of that is not HERE in this Moment. All future tripping. So THIS Moment,
hmmm, lets check ......
There is strong sense of underlying Ground, the deep stillness beneath the roar of traffic. That/This connects everything. Mind quiets, and actually agrees (wow!! imagine THAT!!!).
And Heart, this Center of Child Innocence, precious guidance that always resonates with sweet Openness. Heart is at ease.
So I find right now the whole physical system says 'Yes" there is truth to this Moment. No one has to do anything.
That is all well and fine in the face of sitting here in the Issaquah Library writing to whom ever will read this, but what about 'out there'? I cannot accept that there is truth to it until I see there is truth in every Moment. That is the Truth I seek, the truth that applies to EVERY thing. So apparently I have just found my next homework assignment.
Every day, every moment is a possible moment to Realize Awareness, to manifest Life fully, (hmmm, nice word; 'Lifefully'). With the activities of looking for home, for place to participate in the Financial Energy Exchange (yes, there does appear to be a FEE!!! eheheh!!!!), I get to see the hundreds of ways Sunny believes the relative world as real. Not so, again and again, the shift from the asleep state to an awakened one can be made in a fraction of a nano second. A good practice.
Some say the Soul incarnates to learn particular 'lessons' in order to develop. I wonder, if that is true, what is it my Soul is trying so hard to learn, and am I in the way? and what does that 'in the way' really look like? or is it learning what is needed no matter what 'I' do? Like velcro, I 'think' (error #1) 'If I do something ' then I can turn it around, there wont be struggle (who IS struggling anyway?).
Like a large knotted bundle of yarn full of stickers, I am unraveling, and not unraveling. Maybe I am suppose to be raveled?
A small voice in me whispers,
{{{{{ 'now is the time to drop it all, just wait, there is nothing to do, and no one to do it!'}}}}}
WHOA!!!!! who is gonna find the job? locate the housing? find the Kirtan?
Slow down there, all of that is not HERE in this Moment. All future tripping. So THIS Moment,
hmmm, lets check ......
There is strong sense of underlying Ground, the deep stillness beneath the roar of traffic. That/This connects everything. Mind quiets, and actually agrees (wow!! imagine THAT!!!).
And Heart, this Center of Child Innocence, precious guidance that always resonates with sweet Openness. Heart is at ease.
So I find right now the whole physical system says 'Yes" there is truth to this Moment. No one has to do anything.
That is all well and fine in the face of sitting here in the Issaquah Library writing to whom ever will read this, but what about 'out there'? I cannot accept that there is truth to it until I see there is truth in every Moment. That is the Truth I seek, the truth that applies to EVERY thing. So apparently I have just found my next homework assignment.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The Sacred Dont-Know
I have written a couple a paragraphs, reread them and seen they spoke clearly but not of this. How does one write about the Unknown??!!! Ha!!!! LOL!!!!! ROF!!!!!
So I begin with where I am;
In the density of high populated area, I have brief refuge at son Ryans apartment with his dear pregnant wife, Kelcey. 'Refuge' is sweet and good, 'brief' has deep invitation for watching the Minds willingness to invite fear, anxiety, pressure, mistrust of Source, and discounting of Who Is.
Who needs to go to the movies with all THIS going on right here, front row center!!!
yeHHAAAAA!~!!!
What a precious invitation to stay and continue to deepen immersion into NOW. There truly is no other route, action, perspective. and This Now has everything that is needed. Even the slight whisper of thought to investigate this website, that area, this listing, that phone call.
Everything, EVERY thing that is needed is Within. and the only way to access Within is via the Body in THIS Moment. It is sooo Simple. (Intentionally the word 'easy' is not being used here!)
This body having a sensation; belly tight, small back warm, shoulders cold, etc. Come to that experience, meet it with the gentleness of welcoming a newborn baby, and something moves in the Heart.
Dont take my word for it, check it out for yourself. ( at least a couple hundred times!! )
Let me know if its true for you or not.
Today the image came; here is one guy going ahead, or deeper into the cave, or higher on the mountain, or just around the corner, etc.. He checks it out thoroughly, then comes back and reports to his buddies.
"This is what I saw, this is what I felt, this is what I learned."
This is what this Blog is about; I am exploring some pretty fine terrain. Some of us have ben there and know it well, some of us havent seen it at all as yet. I am reporting back to you what my experience is being.
If it helps you, Great. If it doesnt help you Great.
(the only way to know if something has helped or not is to try it out!)
Thanks to all of you who have sent comments.
This is a good exercise to write about such nontangible territory.
I benefit.
May we all benefit from the Journeys we share with one another!
Til the Next Entry,
May all Beings Know Peace and the Root of Happiness
Sunny Sundaram
So I begin with where I am;
In the density of high populated area, I have brief refuge at son Ryans apartment with his dear pregnant wife, Kelcey. 'Refuge' is sweet and good, 'brief' has deep invitation for watching the Minds willingness to invite fear, anxiety, pressure, mistrust of Source, and discounting of Who Is.
Who needs to go to the movies with all THIS going on right here, front row center!!!
yeHHAAAAA!~!!!
What a precious invitation to stay and continue to deepen immersion into NOW. There truly is no other route, action, perspective. and This Now has everything that is needed. Even the slight whisper of thought to investigate this website, that area, this listing, that phone call.
Everything, EVERY thing that is needed is Within. and the only way to access Within is via the Body in THIS Moment. It is sooo Simple. (Intentionally the word 'easy' is not being used here!)
This body having a sensation; belly tight, small back warm, shoulders cold, etc. Come to that experience, meet it with the gentleness of welcoming a newborn baby, and something moves in the Heart.
Dont take my word for it, check it out for yourself. ( at least a couple hundred times!! )
Let me know if its true for you or not.
Today the image came; here is one guy going ahead, or deeper into the cave, or higher on the mountain, or just around the corner, etc.. He checks it out thoroughly, then comes back and reports to his buddies.
"This is what I saw, this is what I felt, this is what I learned."
This is what this Blog is about; I am exploring some pretty fine terrain. Some of us have ben there and know it well, some of us havent seen it at all as yet. I am reporting back to you what my experience is being.
If it helps you, Great. If it doesnt help you Great.
(the only way to know if something has helped or not is to try it out!)
Thanks to all of you who have sent comments.
This is a good exercise to write about such nontangible territory.
I benefit.
May we all benefit from the Journeys we share with one another!
Til the Next Entry,
May all Beings Know Peace and the Root of Happiness
Sunny Sundaram
Friday, August 1, 2008
More significant, less words
Leaving Portland this morning and driving today into Bellevue, arriving to the place where all my belongings are.
There is a lot of energy within; 'excitement', some 'wariness', some 'curiosity'.
And mostly this void openness of 'no difference', nothing new, nothing the same, and none of it matters. It is all merely the movement of the physical realm for the next steps of manifesting.
Using this Blog has been supportive, I will continue to reveal the Journey as it unfolds.
For the next aspect is the densest part! Human and Soul united in the Human life!
What a pleasure to participate in this....
Be Well,
Sunny/Sundaram
There is a lot of energy within; 'excitement', some 'wariness', some 'curiosity'.
And mostly this void openness of 'no difference', nothing new, nothing the same, and none of it matters. It is all merely the movement of the physical realm for the next steps of manifesting.
Using this Blog has been supportive, I will continue to reveal the Journey as it unfolds.
For the next aspect is the densest part! Human and Soul united in the Human life!
What a pleasure to participate in this....
Be Well,
Sunny/Sundaram
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