A Precious Time......

Welcome to this new time; fresh snow, a 'new year' just around the corner, energetic presence stronger than ever before! Wow, what a time to be alive!

For the first time in a couple weeks the sun is shining in this snowed in Portland Metro area. The low light brings a glow not unlike that which is growing in every one of us. Know it or not, we are awakening. Like it or not, change is on upon is.

I am inherently an optimist. Some have 'accused' me, some have 'diagnosed' me of being Polly Anna-ish. Quiet in this view, I am. People like to have their perspective respected, hence, I say little these days about what I am sensing deep in my cells; there is change underfoot, literally and figuratively. Good change, it is. Change that we have been praying for for decades. Remember?


"The system needs to change!"
"We need our country to remember FOR the People! BY the People!"

So, here we are, in the midst of the change.

In the midst of all the change I am watching an interesting phenomenon. The little mind, the habit mind, the body mind wants to latch on to its view, its perspective with a white knuckled grip, "The sky is falling!!!" cries Chicken Little!!! or is it Little Chicken? The fear, the reactivity is tangible, so therefore it must be real, right?
But I can FEEL it!!! the mind screams!!! Demanding attention to the so called fact that the sky is falling, it becomes oblivious to the very existence of where the sky is falling FROM and what it is falling TO. SOMEthing still exists. The mind isnt capable of seeing that view as easily, not without suport, guidance, encouragement, and practice.
I remember when I was a teenager; I would get a pimple, usually in some blatantly obvious place like the end of my nose. I would perseverate about how it was effecting my looks. And the whole while be missing the FACT that the skin was doing a very good job of eliminating toxins from my body. Mind says, "Pimple BAD!", fact is "Pimple GOOD!".

So here we are, in the midst of BIG CHANGE. Mind says "Things are BAD!!", when in the Big Picture, "things are Good". There is a reordering, a reorganization going on from a very High view. And here we are in the midst of it!

This is a GREAT Time to align ourselves with the High View, to set our sights on a broader horizon that includes a re-setting of our direction.

In the morning, welcome the day and all that it brings.

Every reaction, fear, wave of strong feeling is an invitation to let the core energy of that feeling break free and dissolve. No need to act out, or process, let the energy move.

When energy is moving, its a great time to bring the minds attention to the finite details of the body and its inner rhythms; trace the air coming in, register the ribs and diaphragm moving with the breath, feel the pulse in the arteries, the heart.

When the mind wants to embody Chicken Little, brings its attentiveness to the movement in the body; do a thorough inventory of how many ways gravity is effecting you RIGHT NOW. Make it a game, give your mind a clipboard, a white lab coat, and safety glasses!!!

These activities are the beginnings.
There is something that breathes the body, there is something that maintains gravity, there is something that makes the heart pump. THAT Body, the Body of the body is what is slowly and gently entraining the mind.

This gentleness is important. It helps develop Love and Foregiveness.

These are precious times, Good times to be on the Earth. There is MUCH support for us now. Dare to deepen your most Sacred Intentions. Dare to release the burdens of the past, Dare to embody your True Nature as you truly are.

Be Well.

namasté,
Sunny

Gifts of Winter......

In this contemporary day it is easy to consider the Holiday Season one of Gifts to be given and received from friends and family. Yet there is a depth of offering in this Seasonal Turning, rooted in ancestral genetics pre-historically, bypassing all consumerism whatsoever, unless, of course one wishes to include the invitation and the fact that during the depths of Winter contemplation one can be consumed by the Fire of Light!

Winter; the time for turning inward, to face, and welcome the Darkness. Such beautiful support there is in this Seasons longer nights and darker days! So we go within to the best of our ability. There may be all kinds of thoughts, memories, emotions that once thought 'dealt with', or not. And so they rise, to be seen/acknowledged. And so they rise to be gathered and brought to the Light that is growing and building. We celebrate the return of the Son, the Sun, the Light, the Light of Day. All of it is in the Turning of the Dark to Light.

What an invitation!!!!

Bring up the old forms, rules, and 'ow-ies' from the basement and the attic (literally and figuratively!), lay them all out without remorse or regret and let the Light from within your precious Heart and Soul shine on it, bathed in acceptance, washed in forgiveness, and dissolved in the releasing.

Over and over and over again if that's what it takes.
Oh, it takes more than once?
No Problem!!!
Afterall, when the toilet is clogged, do you only push the plunger ONCE to get the lines cleared??!!!?

Heavens Sake, NO!!!!

Plunge this stuff!!!! Flush it with every bit of Light you've got!
Dont underestimate your resources either, there is more than than you 'think'!!!! (Follow that Riddle!!!)

Flush it clear with full-hearted enthusiasm. And when you feel tired, or tuckered out, know there is a whole legion of Angels cheering for you,
"YEAH!!! GO! GO!!! FLUSH IT OUT!!!! THATA WAY!!!!! GOOD JOB!! WAY TO BE!!!!!!"
or something like that. You'll have to check into your team and see how they cheer you on.

Sometimes when the thick of the clearing is going on, its forgotten there is support and cheering and resources unending. This is a reminder.
There is support.
All the time.
All Ways.
Help yourself remember.
Be active in remembering.

And remember, asking for help is a way of giving a gift;
there is so much help waiting to be asked for, and available once asked for.
Give the gift that keeps on giving;
ask for help.

Blessings from the Blizzard!!!
Precious Winter Turning......

Plutonian Winter ....

I am burning.
Finding the hardwoods of habit
feeding this fire like rocket fuel and a match
well lit
burning til complete
and then
some more,
or is it
and then
s'mores!!!

The softness of the pause
the gentle cradle of Stillness
Mind says 'aaaaaah....'
then the next wave rises in the tailwind
of Minds stirring.
over and over,
giving every wave to the Vast Void
As though there is nothing else
eheheh, and so it is!

The Old rises
"To GOD!!!!"
The Old rises
"TO GOD!!!!!"
The Old rises
"TO GOD!!!!!!"
the phone rings
a friend
in gratitude
we speak of Stillness
and say no more.


And so it is.
This that speaks
and pores/pours/poors
Poetry no more
fluidity of Forgiveness
Vapors of Old
Mind says its all bunk
has no rhyme
no meter
to pulse
the human
oh, Well.
And so it is.
This Silence Is.

The Splendor of the Moment

Well.
Yes.
I AM.
Well.
Now, residing in Portland, Oregon.
First winters snow has arrived.
Cold weather for here.
Thank you Colorado, for acclimating me to 'cold'!
This 'cold', THIS cold is only senses responding relatively.
Relative, subjective..... eheheh none of it is True!

Few words for this realm of dissolving.
IF there were to be a report it would say,
"Sunny is no longer with us.
If you see him, know him as the Light You Are!!!

yep, thats All folks!!

Freedom is right HERE......

So simple.
This
Presence
of Life
Waiting
patiently
for 'me'
to
Remember
Stillness.

And NOW.......

With each passing touch of the breath that IS
There is less and less to say.
NO one to say it, No one to hear it.

So here, now, breathing.
Yes
NO matter what, yes.
It is all the rising of Life
no matter what, yes.

NO where to 'go'
for I AM HERE.

Call me Grampa Sunny!

Wow........
Meet Jackson Robert Ragona!!!! (see slideshow to the right)
Bless Joy Boy II arrived safe and sound
Nov 27 3:43 am Bellevue, WA
7# 3oz., 19" long
all parts are present and accounted for!

Precious to be in the room with the already strong bond of Mom, Dad, and Baby.
Driving home tonight I found myself driving slower than usual.
"Hey, I am a Grampa, I am wearing a hat, I can drive as slow as is feasibly safe!!!"

What weird things we carry in our heads!!

In awe of Life
in Heartbreak for opening to Life more and more and more,
such a big powerful Heart-opener in such a small package!!!
and so Life goes, one leaves, another arrives.

Humbly,
Sunny

Ongoing Realizations......

The Mind so wants to say, "Got it!", "I understand!".
God Bless the Mind, eh!

Thought arises, ideas come and go.
Rather than acting, bring them fully to the raised platform of the Heart. Then in full collaboration with Spirit and Soul, offer the direction/idea from the Heart (not the mind from where it sprang in the first place).

This can be useful when the Mind is over active.
Of course, when the mind is over active it will take over EVERY thing!

Whats being attempted as an offering here is the strengthening of the partnership of Mind and Heart.
Mind isnt the 'Bad Guy', its very undisciplined.
When we have a relationship with the Heart, when there is awareness of the Heart, then it becomes an active partner. It is essential for the Heart to be actively present in order for further development.

I look forward to having face to face conversations with others regarding this Journey!! Let me know what you experience, and your perspectives!

until then,
Sunny

The Ocean......

"...refuses no river."

High tide has been a wash these past days. Tsunamis welcomed, embraced, dissolved, and wash again.
There can be words that express the process, the experience, and none come close to what IS.

For anyone who is on this Path; growing, opening, dissolving........ God Bless You!!!!

Never ever ever never ever EVER give up!

unless of course there is the giving up of anything that maintains the illusion of there being a 'you' that is not already full of Source/God/Existence.

The old 'owies', the ways we have become due to the 'owies' and how we enveloped ourselves around the 'owie' and the story about the 'owie', all gets to go. What a relief, eh!!!!!!

So let it go, stop all the thinking that says anything about 'you'. Stop.
Let the FACT of what you are flow fully.


DARE!!!!

DOUBLE DARE!!!!!!!


;-)

Heart Wisdom moves.......

Bring the Heart Wisdom into the mind, through the Mind, refreshed through the Heart, through the body, like warm molasses, it soothes its way through all aspects. As the Flow continues, it also gently expands outward to include what is near, then to include what is further, until there is no 'here' or 'there' to be included.

This Heart Wisdom resides quietly in all Life form, awaiting your call. No Mind is needed to call it, no Mind is needed to receive it, no Mind is needed to embody this Wisdom. Feel Life breathing the physical form and experience the guiding whispers of the Wisdom.

Meet everything from that breath. Life through that Breath. Nothing else is needed.

Here.....

No matter where the Road may lead,
No matter how the Road may seem,
No matter what the Road may do,

Just Come, Love is Here
Just Come, Love is Here
Just Come.

Love....

Once touched
I want no Other
This Love is All
Absolute, Final.

Now the Affair begins
In Moment-to-Moments Grace
to find You
in Every Face.

The River Flows......

I have sat along rivers that run hard and wild
I have floated upon some calm and quiet ones
I have fished the transition places of stillness and movement
and still I wonder at the constancy of the Flow

There is no other place to be than right HERE
there is no other time to be than NOW
theses things we know
and know and know

And when it is complete in us
there is no longer any need to Know
for the Knowing is complete
and the embodiment is All inclusive

All that said, I sit right now in a place where the river has run firm and strong enough to stir up the silt, the waterlogged flushout from storms long ago, long settled deep in the river bed crooks and crannies. Elemental Water, always seeking its own level, always flowing to the Ocean; which refuese NO river, NO RIVER is refused by the Ocean.

Then what is it in 'me' that seems to feel refused, held back, not included?

The only thing that can have that view is that which is not True.

And how do I receive those sensations?

Through the senses of the body.

okay, so the body feels these things and then they are received and interpreted through comparative thinking in the brain/mind.

The body is the densest. yup.

And i am using the densest aspect of this physical life existence to interpret Life?

hmmm, thats like, uhm, going to a glacier and chipping the hardest ice to get a drink of water because i am thirsty....... not quite actual in the metaphor, but you get the idea?

Clearing is happening in this process.
Will I clear enough in this Lifetime to be of true Service?

So what if I dont know, but I feel like some point has been passed that requires some conscious awareness of 'place', 'activity', 'intention', 'focus'.

I remember years ago at a Lorena McKennet concert as she introduced her band, expressing her repect for their high talent, she referred to them as 'idling porsches'.

I feel like an idling Volkswagen!! eheheh, aircooled for sure (as evidenced by loving to sleep outside!)

This commentary is more a 'report' than coming to any conclusion. For those of you who have been following this Journey, and participating and contributing to it so richly, I send a BIG 'THANK YOU"!!! So it could be whole different report this afternoon after I replant the iris, hang the laundry, set up the Excel spreadsheet, eat some lunch, and continue to look for employment.

hmmm, I feel is minutely shifting already. See? this is why I say 'Thanks'! Knowing this is being shared, writing from here, humbled by what is required.......

Thank you.

Many Blessings,
Sunny

Bowing to THAT.....

As some of the photos reveal; One of Oregons best kept secrets is the brilliant Light and splendid colours of Fall. (shhhh dont tell anyone!!!!)

Thanks to those who let me know your following this Blog, this 'conversation' is fertilizer and fuel for us all! Deep gratitude for this form of communication and support.

How does one use words in a language that does not vibrate with the truth of this realm of Source/Love/God?
whew... more and more the question of how to express authentically this radiating ongoing waves of movement of essential resonating in this thing called a body.
Bare/Bear with me, here goes.....

As a lighthouse sits built strong on bedrock at the edge of the cliff radiating outward farther than it can ever know possible to communicate, to convey to any who need to know where the edges are, this body has been built on, and with Love. It radiates well. In the human travels there has been many choices made over the decades that retracted the intensity, that covered or shielded the Light (the 'why' seems unnecessary right now), the commitment and vow is to unveil and reveal.
With each conviction to the Court of Love another shield, cape, cloak, cover drops away. Each Wave that courses through here runs more free, like a well cleared creek bed, relieved of the congestion of decades of log jams, the waters run free and clear(er). Each wave clears the way for the next layer to be washed clean and clear. Relatively speaking I am about squeaky clean as i ever thought I could be!!! And immediately it is Known this is only the beginning, and there is no one here under these cloaks and capes and covers other than the Love that has been here all along.
The physical body, dense as it is, is catching up to this realization; Love washes through and I am in tears, spilling from my eyes with such a free fall to nearly match any of the beautiful waterfalls of Oregon Columbia Gorge! (When you come to visit, be sure to leave time for stopping at at least TWO of them!!!!)
I dont know anything any more. What a relief. And what is Known is the Presence. Here. Now. Always available every moment. Every Winters Wave of emotion given over complete. And this one, and now this one. Not even turning to name the emotion, or the story, the flotsam and jetsam of the life experience that brought it to the surface. The Waves wash. Over and over.
Simplified, stupified, cleansified, sweetified, purified, clarified.
over and over.
This Lighthouse is shining; whether or not there are any boats 'out there' needing the Light or not. I am built for this; to SHINE.
And so I do, and AM.
And, so it IS.

By golly, the Beatles were right;
Love is All there IS.

Love and Peace to the World,
Sunny

Arriving at the Threshold

I must admit I thought I had 'gotten' quite a bit,
the systems, the language, the inner states
All were available on my Spiritual Plate.
One thing had been forgotten,
perhaps was never known,
that arriving to the table
was to Begin the Unknown.

Never lacking an appetite
Always willing to graze
The Food of the Soul
Set my Heart a blaze!

Munching for hours on a delectable bite
could fill me with comfort for most of the night.
Absorbed as I was with this Hunt for the Truth
I held myself back by an sly inner Sleuth
Who seemed to think the hunt itself
was the goal and the path to realize ones Self

Appetizer and snack and side dish all gone
I had found myself hungry long before Dawn.
This mornings rising was more basic than bread
each cell washed clean through body and head.

The Main Meal is now cooked and I along with it
Nutritional balance in every ingredient
Nothing fancy or fine or rich or creamy
But guaranteed the best in any seekers dreamy
imaginings of growing up to the Light
And finding Yourself right there the Whole Time!!

Poetry is stumbly no matter how stated
This persistence of looking is now sated
Nothing is there that wasnt before
And nothing is here that came through the door!

Washed clean, and fed, cozy and warm
I welcome this Heart that I have always worn
I hum a sweet tune with familiar refrain
Sweet dreams to us all again and again

Keep it simple keep it soft
Keep your Light ON high aloft
Breathe it into your weary hard working mind
Breathe it into the World time after time

Now you see it, Now you see
no matter whats been said or done
Get the jist and the habit
of Your Light Shining with Fun

No reason not to embrace deeply
This song of your Heart
and sing it so sweetly
that your weariness melts
and your cares all dissolve
Try it some more and you will evolve.

The Secret is this,
that when we reside
in the Flow of the Love that is always inside
Our systems, our owies,
our narrow minds view
is all melted away
to reveal.......
Yup
the Real You!!!!!

I feel silly tonight. Lighthearted and soft.
Something has been realigned in me
(wiht a LOT of help from my Friends!!)
Peeling away layers of old self decorating, like removing layers and layers of old wallpaper. layer after layer , softened with steam, and prodding, and gentle firmness. I am peeling away.
Nothing is being Lost. Nothing at all. Something though is being found as the layers fall away... that something is a tone I remember *hearing* as a child and a young adult, and moments since then, moments when my Soul would visit.
For some folks who are reading this, I know I am 'catching up' to where you've been for quite some time, for others I am the Canary in the Coal mine- going in and seeing if I live. Whatever it is for you as you read this, I want to lean over and gently whisper in your ear,
"Every time you breathe, you breathe nothing less than God/Source (call it what you need to), and the sweetest thing right now is to give it to your body, bathe your nervous system with it, then breathe it our and bathe everyone else in it. We cant breathe 'wrong'!! (can we??!!?)
Give the gift of breath, to your self, to those around you, to every moment you feel perturbed, or tired, or cranky, or joyous, or content, or happy, or scared. Take a Breath Bath!!! Soak in it!!!
Keep it simple; Breathe.
Know I send Love.
And a gentle hand, All Ways.

Sunny

Bathing in the Flow

THIS
Sweet Simplicity of Oneness
No theory, no philosophy or ideal
THIS is tangible Presence
The All Flowing
Bathing every cell to Solution
Transforming, Trans- forming
Forming to the Formless
THis is not talk of some teaching
this is not speaking of some known
esoteric understanding
THIS is what I AM
THIS

Seasons Shifting......

I am chipping away at putting the yard and gardens to bed here. The air is calling of Winters breath. Moon in Cancer, quiet, inward, contemplative.

As layers of insulation are sifted away, there comes a softness that welcomes the softness in You. A whisper of seeing through the veils we put before ourselves, seeing the Lightness of Being each is. Even in the face of emotional reactivity, the sight has a whisper of availability.

This semi-monastic life (watching movies in the evening evokes the 'semi' of semi-monastic!), is inviting and inviting to explore. For days now I keep seeing how I think that because i am here, that is what is needed. And yes, Being here is what is needed. But it seems also in that is a bit of complacency, or laziness, or ... ?....... .

I am here to give myself fully to the Opening; to embody the Opening. For s long time I had thought I was opening to God or Source, always something different than 'me'. Now though, it seems what is happening now anyway is that that which has been inside of me all the while is getting more to the front seat, more easily available for the daily living. It's strong, its subtle, its simple, its profound.

Words are tricky in the sense they evoke for each of us some association, some personal meaning, which more often or not we assume everyone else agrees with us. HA! and we wonder why there are so many misunderstandings! God, we humans are funny things.......

What happens if I sit quietly for a few minutes in a very safe, private, protected, quiet place and listen for the whisper of who I Am? What happens if I drop all the language and concepts about God, Source, Enlightenment, Awakening, Now and remember who I was as a very little child. Even in the face of the childhood I signed up for I have recollections of quiet moments and KNOWING who I was, feeling totally at peace- inside and out. Those moments might have been fleeting, so what? We aren't here to have a merry-everything-is-hunky-dory Life, we are here for our Souls to Grow! But way back there, and moments along the way I can remember a whiff of something; it wasn't 'outside' of myself, it wasnt 'inside' of myself, it just WAS.

That the stuff I am feeling here and there more often now. I am not gonna call it anything. Well, maybe I'll call it 'Life-Juicy'! being in that place, that state sure as heck alters what Life feels like.

I hope this finds anyone/everyone who is reading this curious a bit. I know we all have a our comfort zones and familiarity with what we 'understand'. Maybe that is all that is needed. Maybe there is something in a quiet moment that is both familiar and fresh. If I totaly give into what I think is real, what is familiar (even in the face of 45 years now of study, training, practice, and investigation!), I get the sense that I am stopping short of a possibility, an opening, an releasing into ..... Life. Life as it truly Is. Life for what is Really Is. Life itself, Life Itself, meeting Itself! So I invite myself to be a bit curious about RIGHT NOW. Can you sense it? There is something awaiting your quiet attention. I invite you........

So I am putting the garden beds to bed for the Winter, and I am gently putting concepts to bed to compost into more usable fuel for the Growth into Spring. The compost bin is loaded with worms, the greatest transformers, so I gently add my organic matter of minds ideas, of associations, of anything that is not rooted in the Soil of my Soul. I am here for that, to Grow Soul; vines weaving like the joyous blackberry bush into every moment of the Life of this human!

Blessings and namasté,
Sunny

No need.....

whew...... look into your life and see what needs there are, what need makes you behave, think, act, feel the way you do. they all over the bloody place!!!!!
This morning I cried. I cried from the rush of Freedom of the pent up/hold me down/back me up against the wall NEED.
Then I cried some more, I was so happy to let this go I didnt even want to wipe the tears away!!!

All these years , " I 'need' to sing, I 'need' to paint, etc etc blah blah blah.'
Afraid to let go of the need cuz I thought I would sing, or paint, or create........
This morning the clarity.... and affirmation. Go ahead and paint and sing and drawe and create!!!!! just dont do it from a 'need' place, do it from a celebration and Oneness place!!!!
duh! oh Planet Earth is for Slow Learners a friend once told me.

Just thought I 'd pop by and let ya know whats up!
;-)

Disolving ... and dis-solving

"Flowing Like a river
from the mountain to the sea
the rush of fertile waters
running through me." -sm (and probably 10,000 other folk singers!)

And so it is in me, this Love that flows freely and richly.

Until this morning there was always this large basalt like block of dense darkness just off to the side. Not budging, not giving way, not moving, not glowing. Nothing doing.
This morning the Flow of God/Presence/Source flowing pouring into, through, out of me. Unstoppable (like I would want that!!!), and there just off toward the side, in full view, this black dense column of yuck.
"what the heck is this!!!!!???" (oh, FINALLY! some curiosity here!!)
As Curiosity lead the examination there was revealed this sadness of feeling as though a promise to God had been sorely broken. 'I do', "YES!" for me, was to God, to promise to bring God into everything to the best of my ability, and I felt I had let 'Him/Her/It' down down down. REALLY down, like irreparable. So Love could flow but it couldnt be fully offered anymore because i had failed when I had most promised.

So this block had formed; block of rock, block the flow. Its all the same. Until this morning.

This morning, Curiosity softly examined the edges, the textures, the shapes and the form of it, and the Flow of Love conintues to wash over, through, and around it and me. And the edges turned rounder, the sides became pourous, the material became perferated. And quickly and slowly it let go of all the places it was glued, nailed, welded and molded. The pieces slipped into the waters flow and bobbed and disolved down the river of Energy That I Am.

All day I find I am able to FULLY Love. No constraints on the emanation for fear of tainting someone's auric field. Only a full soft sweet enveloping of All that Is. So sweetly simple. And all day the world sweetly singing, humming, glowing, shining, ordinarying.

No 'me' feeling 'it', no 'me' observing.
Just Be.
And so I Am.

Seasons Shift

This time of year brings a sensing of the Shifts arising; the movement to Harvest time, the change of Light at days end, the cool of the morning, the body setting things aside in preparation for Winter (God loves the Squirrels!).

Also in the air is the Breath of Life calling itself to the foreground. More often interpreted as an urge for one more outing, the last camp-out, one more swim at the swimming hole, all of those activities are precious for what they are, but what is the Desire lying beneath the human sense of pleasure?

There is an invitation about us, a whisper of something beckoning our Hearts to Open. Valentines Day is a drive-by of romanticism (no harm there!) compared to this Invitation.
Bring it on! Open up ALL the way. Dare to Show Up as my friend Susans joyous invitation taunts me. Drop the cloaks of disguise/DisSkies, spread the wings of Heartness, Be Lifted, be Loved, Be Love.

Oh, right, all that Love talk. We have heard it so much it has become diluted (deluded, perhaps?), watered down beyond the sappy syrup of some known meaning inside the recesses of this Life's Experience. What the heck is it anyway?

Who knows. To be honest with you, rather than go through paragraphs of internal discussion and dialog, which I find can easily become a mere slick sabotage of distraction for being with this delightful, de Light Full experience of feeling Life pulse through this body, I would prefer to come to the activities of daily Life full and spilling over with this Flow, to step into the deep end For Ever.

It is one thing to know the words, the language, the actions, the behaviors the rituals the sayings. That is a beginning. Then it seems necessary to come to know that none of that is true. But to come to the knowing of it not being true there had to be coming to it as though it were true.
Could this also be more sabotage of Beingness? or is this helpful in some way?

Over the decades of investigation there was hearing something, being smart enough to get the first couple layers accurately, then acting according to the first couple of layers. The trick is to keep investigating until all investigation is complete. Then, yup, then there is only one thing to 'do'....... Be. period. Be.

This investigation is often supported with physical pain. Masochistic? naw, just human, a bit dense, sensory rooted, and thorough in the research! For the last 4 days a three rooted molar has been my guru; waves of pain (on the 0-10 scale = 12 -14). When receiving the sensations from the human brain perspective the reflex was of course 'get away'. Which immediately brought the gift of more pain, intense claustrophobia, and tightening of muscles I had no idea were involved in the jaw! Okay, according ot a previous teaching, I have come to the body!!!!!!

Then Grace offers an option; this is a perfect time to check out if, in fact, Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source welcomes EVERY thing. IF in fact EVERYTHING is welcomed. This is a kind of a trick question, 'cuz the only way to gather insight into it is to shift from 'person hurting' to 'person Full of God Self'.

Lo' and Behold, shift is made and energy is full, Present, and Still. Sensation in physical body is body physical sensation drinking from the Vastness of Presence. Period. wow.....

And all this time I had 'thought' 'I' had to feel 'good' to let Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source be available. So backwards I was the words, concept and action was inside out like a hastily removed sock!

Find the truth within that Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source is flowing, available RIGHT NOW. Some part of the humanness of you Knows That. Be That. And from That comes All.

This is the Invitation; Shift to who you truly Are. There is no need to know ahead of time who or what that is; begin, make it an incremental turning, degrees of your choosing, allow the Bright One within to shine forth. throughout your day, with EVERY one, with everything that comes before you. Gather the data of the ongoing experience and give it to your Heart. Fall in Love with the One you Are.

At the end of each day, take a look at what unfolded, check out where those sweet surprises of connection effervesced into your day. Follow that route/root of Life daring to come forth. Gently and Lightly let the Light One take the lead in all your interactions. I dare You to Show up!!

This Seasonal Shift offers a Harvest of a Lifetime!

Let me know how it Flows!!!

Blessings,
Sundaram Sunny

Coming to the Body....

The Mind is so quick to interpret: "oh, yes, 'body', I know THAT", etc etc etc. I type this because this is what I see happen in this cranial vessel over and over and over again. A word, a phrase, automatically Mind 'thinks'. Whew first troublesome spot right there!
Trouble, no trouble. It doesnt matter. Investigation continues, invited and welcomed with curiosity.
Today the experience of something vast (so big it seems appropriate to write in large letters; V A S T!!!) gently entering this physical body, from crown, through head, past throat, expanding Heart, and slowly, everso gently nudging past the internal gate keeper of belly/will. The approach was so gentle, so respectful and irresistible there was a softening of the guard placed there so long ago.
A taste of Presence filling the first two chakras. There have been 'drive-bys' of Presence in Belly and pelvic region but this, this felt different. It was a filling, a fulling, a full-filling feeling. Complete with the Guard also easing.
Dinner came soon after, and didnt sit well. An hour walk down the country road where I now reside, strong steps, soft steps seemed to assist in anchoring something of this new movement in lower body.
Poor Mind doesnt know what to do with it! Thank GOD!!!
This may be familiar territory for most, I dont know. It is an aspect awakening for me. Paradoxical, from the 'I' that truly resides in this physical form there is an 'of course!' that there would be Presence in the body. And the clarity and recognition of Source Present again is 'of course'. There seems to be something of import to the experience, the knowing of the sensation, of knowing what is moving, and what is still, and what is healing. And none of it my 'doing'!
Yes, yes, YES, and YES!!! I say, and Yes again and again.

Blessings to us all as we come to Know who we truly are.
May all Beings Know Peace and the Roots of Peace,
Sunny Sundaram

A New Beginning.....

This is my first night in my room here at HeartGate Sanctuary in Hood River, Oregon.
The ring of resonance and clarity of me being here in this community is deep and strong.
Postings are not about the 'where' I am, they are a reflection of my inner process, and what is alive in me as Life Unfolds.

It's late, I am sleepy, and happy, and humming with a precious simplicity of being in the Flow.

Blessings and Blessings abound,
Sunny Sundaram

A funny story.....

As I was driving out of Hood River yesterday heading to Portland, I passed a sign for mini storage. Made sense to stop in and find out the charges and sizes available.

I went to the office door, "CLOSED" said the sign, "I am in appointments and unable to find back up staff. The gates are open today, I'll be back tomorrow."

Okay, says I, the gates are open. I'll go in an check it out, see how it feels.

Sure enough the gate is open, I drive in, peruse the grounds and the layout, determine it would work for my needs, turn the car around and head back out.
ohho, 'out' now has a closed gate across it!!!

I pull up to the asphalt right in front of the gate. Nothing happens.
I go to the keypad box and push some arbitrary numbers, the 'CALL MANAGER' Light flashes.
hmm, yes good idea, call the manager.

A gentleman is walking past, I gesture through the bars of the gate, "Can you come here a moment?"
He walks over with a puzzled expression, "Yes?" His body leans back a bit, away from the gate, away from possible range of my extended hand.
"I've got myself in a bit of a pickle. I am locked in here, and have no way out. Would you go to the office and see if there is a phone number on the door or window that I might call to get out of here?"
"sure." says the kind man.
Upon return he reports there is no number.

hmmm.......

Oh wait! There is a Security Systems number on the gate!!! with a phone number! yea! I'll call them!! (beginning to feel the first wave of gratitude for technology and a cell phone in my hand!)

ring, ring.....
"Hello, I accidentally got stuck INside a gate that has this phone number on it. Can you help me?"
"No, we would have to have a call from the manager in order to open the gate."
"The manager is not here."
"We cant open the gate without the managers request."
"Can you call the manager?"
"No, we dont have his number."
"Do you have any suggestions of what I can do?"
"Maybe you can call the cops."

okay......
I wait for 20 minutes hoping someone would be coming into their storage unit. nope, no traffic.

Feeling a lot of gratitude for technology, that I have a phone to use, I call Ryan in Bellevue, who looks online for the Hood River non emergency police department number.
Bingo!
I call, explain my predicament, the dispatcher takes my name and number, "Can I call you back in a minute?"
hmm, is there any other answer but , "Yes!".
a minute goes by......
the phone rings,
"Do you see a yellow keypad box near the gate?"
"Hallalujah, yes!"
She gives me the code, I punch it in and the gate opens.
Free at last, my god I'm free at last!!!!!

Makes me laugh!!
Hope this gives you a good chuckle and some great visuals!!

Drink the Giggles!
Sunny

The Origami of Life......

Life folds this way, unfolds that way, folds over here, unfolds over there. Am I the crease? Am I the paper? and I the hands?

With Origami, folding and unfolding with care reveals a new form, a new manifestation. Made from the same stuff, nothing has been changed.

There is a 'YES' ringing in me to drop the layers and return to simplicity.

Pray
Listen
Do what I am told.

Bringing the bent over shadow to upright posture, there is Light.

few words right now rise.
Many blessings, much love.

Sunny

Angels answer........

Standing in line at the Licensing Office to get my drivers license this morning, I had some conversation with St. Michael. Part of this conversation was internal as a result of reading from the Pocket Reader Tibetan Buddhism, from Shambhala Press ( I LOVE these little books!), and part of it was from conversation with a local gent.
Investigation continues as to where disconnect from Self activates, and the ongoing awareness that the outer experience is a shadow of the inner experience, this mornings waiting in line was a good opportunity to be with the sensations of the Body, the activity of the Mind, and the arising of Heart.
The compression that is bubbling through is amazing. In the physical realm there is compression of the density and movement of people. Mind is, hmmm, teetering, yes, thats a good description right now. Teetering back and forth, to and fro. HA! Like the blow up clown with the heavy weight in the bottom that a child might punch and hit and it pops back to center... mostly! Riding that Bobble is honing something that is being strengthened and softened simultaneously. Seeing it, not going with it, being with it, remembering over and over it is not real.
I am aware of the formula; thought -> feeling -> action/behavior, watching the thoughts come and go, watching how quickly the Mind informs the Feelings, and the body so quickly and willingly responds. And not 'going with it'.

This is the ride I am on for these days, walking in Two Worlds. My prayer could be distilled to:
"where's my peeps!??!"
"Show me where you want me!!"
"Help!"

So conversation with St. Michael invited increasing posture of receptivity, remembering, and re-remembering this Moment is what IS, shifting my weight slightly side to side, bring the Body into view. This activity softened the Heart.
Turning to the gent in line next to me, "Good morning."
A smile that lit up, eyes twinkling, "Well, good morning to you Sir!"
Aaaah, connection with this other manifestation of Life. Thank you!

We chatted about the process of moving. He reminded me to not complain of the weather, it will lead to complaining about the weather, then one is complaining, and miserable. Better to not complain, he says. I needed THAT reminder! Gave me something to work with as Winter comes.
Business completed there, leaving the building I thank him for his conversation and wisdom. The handshake is firm, and warm. Welcoming.

Finding the library down the street I set up laptop at a large table and go online. A young man soon sits down with laptop.
"Is that a crescent moon tattooed on your wrist?" his eyes lit up.
"Yes, a reminder of the much needed Goddess presence. More now than ever, doncha think?"
"yes!!!", he says,"!Oh, we are few and far between here on the Eastside, good to meet you. I my self am a Celtic Warrior."
Lifting his shirt he reveals a beautiful and finely done Celtic cross in Celtic Green centered over his heart.
"Where does one find others here?" Michael's warm hand rests calmly on my left shoulder.
"aah, there's a shop. I cant remember the name, but I can draw you a map, and they can lead you to what is needed."
Map in hand, my email addy in his, I sit here. Eased, stunned, softened tears of release and relief.
Michaels hand remains, as he gently steps to the background, always supportive to allow whatever experience is chosen.

This terrain in which I am traveling is far more than I can comprehend. I can only report from moment to moment.
With Gratitude for the Internet, and the form in which I can paradoxically be in deep privacy, in the middle of a mall, talking to I Dont Know Who, revealing this Journey, revealing my Self to myself. Safe, vulnerable. Precious.

Humbly yours,
Sunny Sundaram

Such a Dance!!!

Seems the strong point in Life is connecting. Seems the weaker point is getting the ground where connecting happens!

Every day, every moment is a possible moment to Realize Awareness, to manifest Life fully, (hmmm, nice word; 'Lifefully'). With the activities of looking for home, for place to participate in the Financial Energy Exchange (yes, there does appear to be a FEE!!! eheheh!!!!), I get to see the hundreds of ways Sunny believes the relative world as real. Not so, again and again, the shift from the asleep state to an awakened one can be made in a fraction of a nano second. A good practice.

Some say the Soul incarnates to learn particular 'lessons' in order to develop. I wonder, if that is true, what is it my Soul is trying so hard to learn, and am I in the way? and what does that 'in the way' really look like? or is it learning what is needed no matter what 'I' do? Like velcro, I 'think' (error #1) 'If I do something ' then I can turn it around, there wont be struggle (who IS struggling anyway?).
Like a large knotted bundle of yarn full of stickers, I am unraveling, and not unraveling. Maybe I am suppose to be raveled?
A small voice in me whispers,
{{{{{ 'now is the time to drop it all, just wait, there is nothing to do, and no one to do it!'}}}}}
WHOA!!!!! who is gonna find the job? locate the housing? find the Kirtan?
Slow down there, all of that is not HERE in this Moment. All future tripping. So THIS Moment,
hmmm, lets check ......
There is strong sense of underlying Ground, the deep stillness beneath the roar of traffic. That/This connects everything. Mind quiets, and actually agrees (wow!! imagine THAT!!!).
And Heart, this Center of Child Innocence, precious guidance that always resonates with sweet Openness. Heart is at ease.
So I find right now the whole physical system says 'Yes" there is truth to this Moment. No one has to do anything.
That is all well and fine in the face of sitting here in the Issaquah Library writing to whom ever will read this, but what about 'out there'? I cannot accept that there is truth to it until I see there is truth in every Moment. That is the Truth I seek, the truth that applies to EVERY thing. So apparently I have just found my next homework assignment.

The Sacred Dont-Know

I have written a couple a paragraphs, reread them and seen they spoke clearly but not of this. How does one write about the Unknown??!!! Ha!!!! LOL!!!!! ROF!!!!!
So I begin with where I am;
In the density of high populated area, I have brief refuge at son Ryans apartment with his dear pregnant wife, Kelcey. 'Refuge' is sweet and good, 'brief' has deep invitation for watching the Minds willingness to invite fear, anxiety, pressure, mistrust of Source, and discounting of Who Is.
Who needs to go to the movies with all THIS going on right here, front row center!!!
yeHHAAAAA!~!!!
What a precious invitation to stay and continue to deepen immersion into NOW. There truly is no other route, action, perspective. and This Now has everything that is needed. Even the slight whisper of thought to investigate this website, that area, this listing, that phone call.
Everything, EVERY thing that is needed is Within. and the only way to access Within is via the Body in THIS Moment. It is sooo Simple. (Intentionally the word 'easy' is not being used here!)

This body having a sensation; belly tight, small back warm, shoulders cold, etc. Come to that experience, meet it with the gentleness of welcoming a newborn baby, and something moves in the Heart.
Dont take my word for it, check it out for yourself. ( at least a couple hundred times!! )
Let me know if its true for you or not.

Today the image came; here is one guy going ahead, or deeper into the cave, or higher on the mountain, or just around the corner, etc.. He checks it out thoroughly, then comes back and reports to his buddies.
"This is what I saw, this is what I felt, this is what I learned."

This is what this Blog is about; I am exploring some pretty fine terrain. Some of us have ben there and know it well, some of us havent seen it at all as yet. I am reporting back to you what my experience is being.
If it helps you, Great. If it doesnt help you Great.
(the only way to know if something has helped or not is to try it out!)
Thanks to all of you who have sent comments.
This is a good exercise to write about such nontangible territory.
I benefit.
May we all benefit from the Journeys we share with one another!


Til the Next Entry,
May all Beings Know Peace and the Root of Happiness
Sunny Sundaram

More significant, less words

Leaving Portland this morning and driving today into Bellevue, arriving to the place where all my belongings are.
There is a lot of energy within; 'excitement', some 'wariness', some 'curiosity'.
And mostly this void openness of 'no difference', nothing new, nothing the same, and none of it matters. It is all merely the movement of the physical realm for the next steps of manifesting.

Using this Blog has been supportive, I will continue to reveal the Journey as it unfolds.
For the next aspect is the densest part! Human and Soul united in the Human life!
What a pleasure to participate in this....
Be Well,
Sunny/Sundaram

Listening........ an art.

Today, walking along streets totally unfamiliar, I passed a Care Facility (in the olden days NURSING HOME).
I kept walking.
There was the tiniest of whispers, "Go visit."
In a much more loud and familiar voice, "I dont know anyone there, I dont have the slightest idea of how to get in. What would I do? What do I have to offer?"

Where did that whisper come from? Certainly not my own ideas of how to be in the world. Certainly not from some assignment by a teacher (eheheh).
But it came.
When the recognition of the FACT the thought came outside of my own thinking, it became 'guidance'.
So I found the front door.
I walked in, a ringing dinging bell announcing the arrival of someone.
Immediately I was met by the receptionist, "yes, sir, may I help you?'
"I was wondering if there is someone here who would like a visit? I have worked in the past as Activity Director, I know visitors are rare."
"I cant think of anyone of hand. Thanks for coming by."
Walking down the driveway, I wondered about the direction to go in and realized yet again, it is not about the outcome, it is not about 'doing' something. It is time and time again about following directions.
I also saw that I did not offer to play the piano.
Goofish me, to not offer the atmosphere of contemplative connection with that which is All of Life.

And so the Journey continues, continually deepening this experiencing of Life working with the guideline of;
Pray
Listen
Do what I am Told

With much gratitude for the community with which I share this precious Journey!
Sunny Sundaram

The Joy of Life

A quiet seed
Gentle rain
Soft Light
Its God Again

In every face
in all the 'I's
with every voice
no surprise

The breath of Now
this moments Life
dissolves the veil
tween Love and Strife

Precious few
and every one
all flowing deep
within the One

Daring to Show up.......

This week Portland is the territory in which to meet the Divine.
Having lived here years and years ago, it is also the place to meet old history and some past messes!

The guideline for each town or city visited on the Journey has been,
"what is needed to feel complete with this location?"
For two days a quiet yet persistent niggle has vibrated in belly region.
Doing an errand to day took me to the old neighborhood. With one household in particular I have carried some long time heart ache regarding incomplete, sad interactions and departure.
"Maybe I'll drive by and see if I can find the house."
Bingo! there is the house!
"hmm, I'll park on the street and reflect on the events."
Oh, something else is needed. Reflection for years leads to feeling sad, some guilt, some shame.
"ok, I'll go to the door."
WHAT??!!!?
You dont know what to say??!!
They have a right to shut the door in your face!!!
Leave well enough alone, for the gods sake!!!
{{{ by this time I am truly shaking in my boots.
It would be 'easy' to turn around and walk away}}}
Now I am walking up the steps onto the porch,
"i'll knock and maybe no one is home."
{{there is a doorbell ringer right there, RING IT!!}}}}
I press the door bell, heart pounding, belly tight, foot steps coming, me full of fright!
"Yes?"
"HI, I am here to make some amends to you."
{...........L O N G ..........PA U S E .............}, "Sunny?!?"

We talked for a half hour, it didnt take long.
Two people willing to 'show up', to be with what was happening right then.
I left feeling Free, and humble.

Showing up, no planning, no concepts or agenda. Showing up, here, NOW.
This is the pathway, the portal that will bring us to what is Real RIGHT NOW.

We ARE the Ones We are Waiting For.

You are cordially invited to show up to the rest of your Life, one moment at a time.
Please RSVP!!!!

Love Being, Being Love,

Sunny Sundaram

no where to 'go'.....

Moments pass, the view varies, the companionship alters, the Light of day shifts subtly to the Glow of night. and nothing changes! Each moment enlivened by Presence. each connection embraced by the simple existence of All that Is.

How can it be that the 'I' that thought it was, simply ....dissolves into nothingness/ No Thing Ness?
This that used to be hidden is now revealed,
this that used to hide now shines,
this that thought it was,
is not!
and Life, this Isness
is left
looking at itself,
laughing
joyously.

The human aspect; call it mind, ego, personality
just as it is suppose to be, goes about its activity and expression, clueless or not, Life happens via the human form. No 'right' or 'wrong', it is Life being active in the field of form!

oh, Happy Day
for the Grace
of Life
Here
Now.


Sweet Dreams,
Sunny Sundaram

Vibrating the Web

'Friendship', that delicious territory of connection that requires nothing, gives so much, and is enlivened by interaction is sweetened by the simplest activity; eye contact, listening, sharing. AAAH, the preciousness of coming ot these dear friends after years of Life elsewhere and finding that 'no time' has passed. The laughter, the joy, the tears, the shared moments of Life and how it effects us is such a gift!

Traveling north, visiting family, friends, Heart-family, I am enriched and amazed by the repeated recognition of how Life has chosen to manifest in all these forms, attitudes, views, perspectives and opinions! How often have we gotten 'caught' by our experience of someone having a different opinion or perspective or attitude and 'thought' that was important?

It is not easy to find the words to express this awakening of something that sees all of Life as just that; All of Life. It is simple, it is unnameable, it is rich, it is full of ease, it is fearless.

This is precious, this Journey of Oneness, experiencing Stillness on the Move. The one called Sunny is dissolving into the One we all are.

May we all remember......

Sunny/ Sundaram

What is 'memory'?

WOW.
Spending time two days in a row with cousins with whom I have spent little time in this life. In the conversation, the shared time, there is some underlying vibration of connection that resounds deeply. Fascinating.
As I sat with Cousin Kat, repeatedly seeing glimpses of expression and body language that recalled familiarity, recognition, resonance. We had seen one another perhaps a dozen or so times in our childhood; brief, yet apparent significant visits til we were 12 years old. She, 3 months older than I, felt the quake of the immediate and permanent separation that descended upon our childhood lives unexpectedly as I did; to the core.
For years we had no idea where the other was, until only 1 year and half ago when we (7 cousins total) from 4 different disconnected realms of lives) found one another and began reconnecting.
Experiencing the time together yesterday was a continual thread of connection. This called Sunny was meeting an aspect of Self; eye to eye, Heart to Heart, and welcoming the meeting. The longing that had been identified as 'missing' the cousin, was met in the moments of connecting to the Essential Being embodied in Cousin!
Precious!
And so the Journey continues......
Being Love,
Love Being,
Sunny

Tracks and Roots

There are many avenues in which we can yet again meet ourselves; though our own minds idea of who we are, through the eyes of friends and family, and through experiencing the experience.
DAY 3, 4, 5 have been rich in the realm of remaining Still in the activity of being with family. Such precious meeting has enriched my life, deepening the knowledge that regardless of the history of this individual life, there is a a broad avenue of connection available fertile in the Now.

'Family', that powerful word has evoked a multitude of 'states' in me over the years. Presently though it is an open door, inviting in the sweetest of connection- perhaps in spite of the past, or perhaps due to the shared pasts- I am traveling into the realms of weaving new to my Heart, and so familiar the hunger for it finally being sated!

Sister, nephew, cousins; aaaaah! We each carry some familiar genetic wiring that mirrors to one another the same DNA step ladder; a blessing and a curse- old ways says don't walk under the ladder, its unlucky, and new ways suggest to utilize the ladder to step up to another plane, another realm, another level. The view is wider, the light a bit brighter.

The weaving continues today. My cousin Kathy and I meet for the 'first' time as adults. Last seen 47 years ago, we both are excited, anxious, wondering, curious, and yes, hungry for the connecting and how it may fill in some gaps in the history of our family.

Time and time again, experience confirms the fact that when there is simply 'being with' whatever the experience, there is a richness available that is at the core of this hunger in me. And in that rich terrain of being/Being I meet mySelf.

And the journey continues.

until next time, this is Sunny McHale reporting LIVE/LIFE from The Road.

The Sojourn Begins.....

Day 1 Departure,
A wondrous image; we are all in a caravan, going to the same place, driving a many-laned Freeway. This moving to Seattle area is merely a changing of lanes. No 'leaving'.

Day 2 of this Journey,
Awareness sees itself in all of Life. There is no NOT Seeing.
Yesterday coming out of the Tuba City gas station store, there was a large pool of fluid beneath this vehicle that is new to me. Sunny sees it, "oh, look." NO reaction, no nothing other than seeing the physical manifestation of liquid beneath the car. Check the liquid, its water. Open the hood, everything looks fine. Go down the street two driveways, ask the mechanic, who says "Its normal condensation from your air conditioning." I am back on the road. Being with what arises, responding as is needed without reactivity. What a blessing.

Flagstaff, dinner and evening with KC. Beautiful conversation. Dissolving the structure of 'belief', revealing experience of the physical body as it becomes more a vehicle for the Soul to experience Itself in physical form. Inviting, investigating, exploring, Knowing.

I show small prints of the paintings completed thus far to several store owners. They all respond openly. I do not ask for contact, or selling in their store. I know where they are suppose to be will be apparent and offered. Like at Dragonfly book Garden in Durango, clearly stated, "these cards must be in the store."
So be it.

This trip, though orchestrated by 'me', is a journey for all of us who desire a Road Trip of openness and opening. I write accordingly.

Stepping confidently into the Unknown

What a blessing Life is, eh?
So many opportunities to see what we don't know! I love it! well, unless I don't!
Clarity continues to reveal that the one who is liking something, or not liking something has no substance to it.
An example; yesterday, while organizing stuff to get rid off in preparation ofr this Big Relocation Mind got wound up pretty tight with all the tasks that it seemed to think needed 'doing'. The Emotional Body immediately went along for the ride. There was something watching all this take place, awareness observing. Caught in it, I was. Even in the seeing this was happening, I was 'caught' in the Spin Cycle of the Mind.
Gratefully, I have friends who know what is True. I called.
Registering the moments that lead to the Spin Cycle there was a place. a moment where Choice was made. The Choice to go with the identification of 'I'; ahhh, the Moment of Separation!!!!
And the "I' that had to 'do' was examined, tracked, and revealed as .... no-thing, nothing. and The Spin Cycle dissolved!

The assignment now is to register the moment when 'I' arises, manifests, steps foreword. Register that moment, and STOP!!
And the question comes now as I write, from where does that 'I' arise? The moment BEFORE the "I" steps to the foreground, what IS?

hmmm, back to Observation!!!

May all Beings be Happy!!
May all Beings Know Peace!!
May all Beings Know Love!!
May All Beings Know the Depth of Receptivity!!

Stillness and the Task List

This delicate dance of tending to that which needs to be done from being/Being Moment to Moment. Oh, the Mind has such an activity!! Yet, the simplicity is available, always/AllWays. The simplicity of this Moment; breathing, awareness of breathing. That is all!!! And what is needed arises and is addressed. Poor Mind can not comprehend this, yet as the Moment unfolds with Awareness Present, the Mind participates, not as leader or thinker but as Tool of Awareness.

So preparation continues; belongings sorted, boxes set out for 'give away', keep, sell, ship. Every movement, every pause an arising of Presence. And within the Presence there is full awareness of action needed.

WELCOME

The act of listening has guaranteed consequences;

• guaranteed to instigate change,
• guaranteed to surprise,
• guaranteed to uncover illusory misconceptions,
• guaranteed to reveal Life.
  

This is a Journal of a Journey of Listening.

What better time to listen than in the Time of upheaval, change, and transformation. There is a freshness available, a renewed curiosity, a sense of unexpected wonder. Yes, this is possible even in the face of the unknown, the painful, the scary, the unwanted.

This particular Listening Adventure almost immediately broadcast three statements;

• There is something wrong with living so far (1200 miles) from my kids
• I need to be living where I am going to be spending the rest of my Life
• I need to be in the Northwest.

I do not necessarily know or understand fully what each of these statements are truly asking of me. I DO know however that I best listen and follow the directions as given. Hence, I have begun the preparations for returning to the Northwest in Mid Summer 2008. That will give me time to acclimate to both the lower elevation and the higher humidity. Hopefully by the time the Winter rains begin I will be 'ready'!

I value the friendship and insights my kids bring into my life view. I benefit from their opinions, attitudes, and perspectives. Each of them (this is an eclectic gathering of people who are 'My Kids' via Heart and Soul connection; Ryan, Kelcey, Jordyn, Katy, Shane, Jesse, Saylor. I want an increase in frequency of contact and a more active interaction in the co-creating of Life.

This move will be the 89th move in this lifetime. I have known 'Home' as a transitory reference point. now there is arising in me a deep, strong hunger to grow and expand my awareness of Life from one point on the planet, one patch of Earth, one frequency and vibration that is a humming reference container for my Human Self to deepen Self Understanding.

The Northwest is Home. I didn't know that before this Listening. I know that now. So I must go Home.

This is my commitment to bring to written form that which verbally expresses fully through me. Knowing there are folks reading this supports me in writing in the manner in which I speak in Circle, in Council, in Prayer, in Satsang.

You are invited to write comments regarding these entries; if they support you in your growth and development, if they confuse you, if you wish to add commentary, if you are not interested other than knowing where and how I AM.

Blessings to us all as we each in our own ways enter into the deeper realms of Listening.