I am chipping away at putting the yard and gardens to bed here. The air is calling of Winters breath. Moon in Cancer, quiet, inward, contemplative.
As layers of insulation are sifted away, there comes a softness that welcomes the softness in You. A whisper of seeing through the veils we put before ourselves, seeing the Lightness of Being each is. Even in the face of emotional reactivity, the sight has a whisper of availability.
This semi-monastic life (watching movies in the evening evokes the 'semi' of semi-monastic!), is inviting and inviting to explore. For days now I keep seeing how I think that because i am here, that is what is needed. And yes, Being here is what is needed. But it seems also in that is a bit of complacency, or laziness, or ... ?....... .
I am here to give myself fully to the Opening; to embody the Opening. For s long time I had thought I was opening to God or Source, always something different than 'me'. Now though, it seems what is happening now anyway is that that which has been inside of me all the while is getting more to the front seat, more easily available for the daily living. It's strong, its subtle, its simple, its profound.
Words are tricky in the sense they evoke for each of us some association, some personal meaning, which more often or not we assume everyone else agrees with us. HA! and we wonder why there are so many misunderstandings! God, we humans are funny things.......
What happens if I sit quietly for a few minutes in a very safe, private, protected, quiet place and listen for the whisper of who I Am? What happens if I drop all the language and concepts about God, Source, Enlightenment, Awakening, Now and remember who I was as a very little child. Even in the face of the childhood I signed up for I have recollections of quiet moments and KNOWING who I was, feeling totally at peace- inside and out. Those moments might have been fleeting, so what? We aren't here to have a merry-everything-is-hunky-dory Life, we are here for our Souls to Grow! But way back there, and moments along the way I can remember a whiff of something; it wasn't 'outside' of myself, it wasnt 'inside' of myself, it just WAS.
That the stuff I am feeling here and there more often now. I am not gonna call it anything. Well, maybe I'll call it 'Life-Juicy'! being in that place, that state sure as heck alters what Life feels like.
I hope this finds anyone/everyone who is reading this curious a bit. I know we all have a our comfort zones and familiarity with what we 'understand'. Maybe that is all that is needed. Maybe there is something in a quiet moment that is both familiar and fresh. If I totaly give into what I think is real, what is familiar (even in the face of 45 years now of study, training, practice, and investigation!), I get the sense that I am stopping short of a possibility, an opening, an releasing into ..... Life. Life as it truly Is. Life for what is Really Is. Life itself, Life Itself, meeting Itself! So I invite myself to be a bit curious about RIGHT NOW. Can you sense it? There is something awaiting your quiet attention. I invite you........
So I am putting the garden beds to bed for the Winter, and I am gently putting concepts to bed to compost into more usable fuel for the Growth into Spring. The compost bin is loaded with worms, the greatest transformers, so I gently add my organic matter of minds ideas, of associations, of anything that is not rooted in the Soil of my Soul. I am here for that, to Grow Soul; vines weaving like the joyous blackberry bush into every moment of the Life of this human!
Blessings and namasté,
Sunny
Monday, September 22, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
No need.....
whew...... look into your life and see what needs there are, what need makes you behave, think, act, feel the way you do. they all over the bloody place!!!!!
This morning I cried. I cried from the rush of Freedom of the pent up/hold me down/back me up against the wall NEED.
Then I cried some more, I was so happy to let this go I didnt even want to wipe the tears away!!!
All these years , " I 'need' to sing, I 'need' to paint, etc etc blah blah blah.'
Afraid to let go of the need cuz I thought I would sing, or paint, or create........
This morning the clarity.... and affirmation. Go ahead and paint and sing and drawe and create!!!!! just dont do it from a 'need' place, do it from a celebration and Oneness place!!!!
duh! oh Planet Earth is for Slow Learners a friend once told me.
Just thought I 'd pop by and let ya know whats up!
;-)
This morning I cried. I cried from the rush of Freedom of the pent up/hold me down/back me up against the wall NEED.
Then I cried some more, I was so happy to let this go I didnt even want to wipe the tears away!!!
All these years , " I 'need' to sing, I 'need' to paint, etc etc blah blah blah.'
Afraid to let go of the need cuz I thought I would sing, or paint, or create........
This morning the clarity.... and affirmation. Go ahead and paint and sing and drawe and create!!!!! just dont do it from a 'need' place, do it from a celebration and Oneness place!!!!
duh! oh Planet Earth is for Slow Learners a friend once told me.
Just thought I 'd pop by and let ya know whats up!
;-)
Friday, September 12, 2008
Disolving ... and dis-solving
"Flowing Like a river
from the mountain to the sea
the rush of fertile waters
running through me." -sm (and probably 10,000 other folk singers!)
And so it is in me, this Love that flows freely and richly.
Until this morning there was always this large basalt like block of dense darkness just off to the side. Not budging, not giving way, not moving, not glowing. Nothing doing.
This morning the Flow of God/Presence/Source flowing pouring into, through, out of me. Unstoppable (like I would want that!!!), and there just off toward the side, in full view, this black dense column of yuck.
"what the heck is this!!!!!???" (oh, FINALLY! some curiosity here!!)
As Curiosity lead the examination there was revealed this sadness of feeling as though a promise to God had been sorely broken. 'I do', "YES!" for me, was to God, to promise to bring God into everything to the best of my ability, and I felt I had let 'Him/Her/It' down down down. REALLY down, like irreparable. So Love could flow but it couldnt be fully offered anymore because i had failed when I had most promised.
So this block had formed; block of rock, block the flow. Its all the same. Until this morning.
This morning, Curiosity softly examined the edges, the textures, the shapes and the form of it, and the Flow of Love conintues to wash over, through, and around it and me. And the edges turned rounder, the sides became pourous, the material became perferated. And quickly and slowly it let go of all the places it was glued, nailed, welded and molded. The pieces slipped into the waters flow and bobbed and disolved down the river of Energy That I Am.
All day I find I am able to FULLY Love. No constraints on the emanation for fear of tainting someone's auric field. Only a full soft sweet enveloping of All that Is. So sweetly simple. And all day the world sweetly singing, humming, glowing, shining, ordinarying.
No 'me' feeling 'it', no 'me' observing.
Just Be.
And so I Am.
from the mountain to the sea
the rush of fertile waters
running through me." -sm (and probably 10,000 other folk singers!)
And so it is in me, this Love that flows freely and richly.
Until this morning there was always this large basalt like block of dense darkness just off to the side. Not budging, not giving way, not moving, not glowing. Nothing doing.
This morning the Flow of God/Presence/Source flowing pouring into, through, out of me. Unstoppable (like I would want that!!!), and there just off toward the side, in full view, this black dense column of yuck.
"what the heck is this!!!!!???" (oh, FINALLY! some curiosity here!!)
As Curiosity lead the examination there was revealed this sadness of feeling as though a promise to God had been sorely broken. 'I do', "YES!" for me, was to God, to promise to bring God into everything to the best of my ability, and I felt I had let 'Him/Her/It' down down down. REALLY down, like irreparable. So Love could flow but it couldnt be fully offered anymore because i had failed when I had most promised.
So this block had formed; block of rock, block the flow. Its all the same. Until this morning.
This morning, Curiosity softly examined the edges, the textures, the shapes and the form of it, and the Flow of Love conintues to wash over, through, and around it and me. And the edges turned rounder, the sides became pourous, the material became perferated. And quickly and slowly it let go of all the places it was glued, nailed, welded and molded. The pieces slipped into the waters flow and bobbed and disolved down the river of Energy That I Am.
All day I find I am able to FULLY Love. No constraints on the emanation for fear of tainting someone's auric field. Only a full soft sweet enveloping of All that Is. So sweetly simple. And all day the world sweetly singing, humming, glowing, shining, ordinarying.
No 'me' feeling 'it', no 'me' observing.
Just Be.
And so I Am.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Seasons Shift
This time of year brings a sensing of the Shifts arising; the movement to Harvest time, the change of Light at days end, the cool of the morning, the body setting things aside in preparation for Winter (God loves the Squirrels!).
Also in the air is the Breath of Life calling itself to the foreground. More often interpreted as an urge for one more outing, the last camp-out, one more swim at the swimming hole, all of those activities are precious for what they are, but what is the Desire lying beneath the human sense of pleasure?
There is an invitation about us, a whisper of something beckoning our Hearts to Open. Valentines Day is a drive-by of romanticism (no harm there!) compared to this Invitation.
Bring it on! Open up ALL the way. Dare to Show Up as my friend Susans joyous invitation taunts me. Drop the cloaks of disguise/DisSkies, spread the wings of Heartness, Be Lifted, be Loved, Be Love.
Oh, right, all that Love talk. We have heard it so much it has become diluted (deluded, perhaps?), watered down beyond the sappy syrup of some known meaning inside the recesses of this Life's Experience. What the heck is it anyway?
Who knows. To be honest with you, rather than go through paragraphs of internal discussion and dialog, which I find can easily become a mere slick sabotage of distraction for being with this delightful, de Light Full experience of feeling Life pulse through this body, I would prefer to come to the activities of daily Life full and spilling over with this Flow, to step into the deep end For Ever.
It is one thing to know the words, the language, the actions, the behaviors the rituals the sayings. That is a beginning. Then it seems necessary to come to know that none of that is true. But to come to the knowing of it not being true there had to be coming to it as though it were true.
Could this also be more sabotage of Beingness? or is this helpful in some way?
Over the decades of investigation there was hearing something, being smart enough to get the first couple layers accurately, then acting according to the first couple of layers. The trick is to keep investigating until all investigation is complete. Then, yup, then there is only one thing to 'do'....... Be. period. Be.
This investigation is often supported with physical pain. Masochistic? naw, just human, a bit dense, sensory rooted, and thorough in the research! For the last 4 days a three rooted molar has been my guru; waves of pain (on the 0-10 scale = 12 -14). When receiving the sensations from the human brain perspective the reflex was of course 'get away'. Which immediately brought the gift of more pain, intense claustrophobia, and tightening of muscles I had no idea were involved in the jaw! Okay, according ot a previous teaching, I have come to the body!!!!!!
Then Grace offers an option; this is a perfect time to check out if, in fact, Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source welcomes EVERY thing. IF in fact EVERYTHING is welcomed. This is a kind of a trick question, 'cuz the only way to gather insight into it is to shift from 'person hurting' to 'person Full of God Self'.
Lo' and Behold, shift is made and energy is full, Present, and Still. Sensation in physical body is body physical sensation drinking from the Vastness of Presence. Period. wow.....
And all this time I had 'thought' 'I' had to feel 'good' to let Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source be available. So backwards I was the words, concept and action was inside out like a hastily removed sock!
Find the truth within that Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source is flowing, available RIGHT NOW. Some part of the humanness of you Knows That. Be That. And from That comes All.
This is the Invitation; Shift to who you truly Are. There is no need to know ahead of time who or what that is; begin, make it an incremental turning, degrees of your choosing, allow the Bright One within to shine forth. throughout your day, with EVERY one, with everything that comes before you. Gather the data of the ongoing experience and give it to your Heart. Fall in Love with the One you Are.
At the end of each day, take a look at what unfolded, check out where those sweet surprises of connection effervesced into your day. Follow that route/root of Life daring to come forth. Gently and Lightly let the Light One take the lead in all your interactions. I dare You to Show up!!
This Seasonal Shift offers a Harvest of a Lifetime!
Let me know how it Flows!!!
Blessings,
Sundaram Sunny
Also in the air is the Breath of Life calling itself to the foreground. More often interpreted as an urge for one more outing, the last camp-out, one more swim at the swimming hole, all of those activities are precious for what they are, but what is the Desire lying beneath the human sense of pleasure?
There is an invitation about us, a whisper of something beckoning our Hearts to Open. Valentines Day is a drive-by of romanticism (no harm there!) compared to this Invitation.
Bring it on! Open up ALL the way. Dare to Show Up as my friend Susans joyous invitation taunts me. Drop the cloaks of disguise/DisSkies, spread the wings of Heartness, Be Lifted, be Loved, Be Love.
Oh, right, all that Love talk. We have heard it so much it has become diluted (deluded, perhaps?), watered down beyond the sappy syrup of some known meaning inside the recesses of this Life's Experience. What the heck is it anyway?
Who knows. To be honest with you, rather than go through paragraphs of internal discussion and dialog, which I find can easily become a mere slick sabotage of distraction for being with this delightful, de Light Full experience of feeling Life pulse through this body, I would prefer to come to the activities of daily Life full and spilling over with this Flow, to step into the deep end For Ever.
It is one thing to know the words, the language, the actions, the behaviors the rituals the sayings. That is a beginning. Then it seems necessary to come to know that none of that is true. But to come to the knowing of it not being true there had to be coming to it as though it were true.
Could this also be more sabotage of Beingness? or is this helpful in some way?
Over the decades of investigation there was hearing something, being smart enough to get the first couple layers accurately, then acting according to the first couple of layers. The trick is to keep investigating until all investigation is complete. Then, yup, then there is only one thing to 'do'....... Be. period. Be.
This investigation is often supported with physical pain. Masochistic? naw, just human, a bit dense, sensory rooted, and thorough in the research! For the last 4 days a three rooted molar has been my guru; waves of pain (on the 0-10 scale = 12 -14). When receiving the sensations from the human brain perspective the reflex was of course 'get away'. Which immediately brought the gift of more pain, intense claustrophobia, and tightening of muscles I had no idea were involved in the jaw! Okay, according ot a previous teaching, I have come to the body!!!!!!
Then Grace offers an option; this is a perfect time to check out if, in fact, Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source welcomes EVERY thing. IF in fact EVERYTHING is welcomed. This is a kind of a trick question, 'cuz the only way to gather insight into it is to shift from 'person hurting' to 'person Full of God Self'.
Lo' and Behold, shift is made and energy is full, Present, and Still. Sensation in physical body is body physical sensation drinking from the Vastness of Presence. Period. wow.....
And all this time I had 'thought' 'I' had to feel 'good' to let Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source be available. So backwards I was the words, concept and action was inside out like a hastily removed sock!
Find the truth within that Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source is flowing, available RIGHT NOW. Some part of the humanness of you Knows That. Be That. And from That comes All.
This is the Invitation; Shift to who you truly Are. There is no need to know ahead of time who or what that is; begin, make it an incremental turning, degrees of your choosing, allow the Bright One within to shine forth. throughout your day, with EVERY one, with everything that comes before you. Gather the data of the ongoing experience and give it to your Heart. Fall in Love with the One you Are.
At the end of each day, take a look at what unfolded, check out where those sweet surprises of connection effervesced into your day. Follow that route/root of Life daring to come forth. Gently and Lightly let the Light One take the lead in all your interactions. I dare You to Show up!!
This Seasonal Shift offers a Harvest of a Lifetime!
Let me know how it Flows!!!
Blessings,
Sundaram Sunny
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