Nothin' special........

I've been arguing about Love
for quite a long time now
We toss this word around
as though its in our back pocket
Like we have known it to its depths
since our crib days

I argue
we don't know what we are talking about
and when we talk about it
how we talk about it takes us
in the exact opposite direction
of that which we want to be going toward.

I argue
even when i sign off emails
with 'love' in all caps
like its something special
cuz I want to point to something
that has substance
that I can give my full weight to
that I can lean on
and give some to you
and I miss the point
every time

I argue
there is nothing
that we can name
and have it be real
it is by far better
to not speak of that which is dear
to our hearts
for it remains in its pristine
state of our emotional body
the energetic field of our knowing
the FEELING of it
in our body

I argue that any words
about god or religion
or spirituality
are signs
leading us astray
from the very fact
of what is right HERE

I argue that we've been
barking up the wrong basket of eggs
I argue that we have devoted
to the very thing
that takes us away from
what is HERE
no matter when we call it.

I argue
that we are nothing special
as long as we think
we are, or arent.
and the special is HERE
right inside our skin
but not our skin
but with no name
or shape or form

I argue
until HERE
until NOW.

Late Winter, Looking for Springs arising......

I want to Fall in Love
And so I Am
Walking hand in hand with Life
In the company of Hearts
Who know only their own song
Singing with voices
That have been singing all along
Though many may have spent
Years beneath the bushel
NOW each voice shines
in its own tone
and vibrancy!
How can one NOT fall in Love?
How can One not feel the arising
Of Springs thrust
Inevitable
Undeniable
Like the Egyptian Peoples uprising
We shall not be denied!!
THIS shall not be denied.
This Heart is ripe
For Fullness
Hungering for Unity's Embrace
I want to FALL in LOVE
Who is willing to enter?
Who is willing to step to the music?
The Pulse of Life
Rocks the Beat
Do I Dare?
How can I not?
Who says i haven't?
Do not presume
This means I am Happy
Do not assume this means
I am 'up'.
I am in the depths of anguish
The Ache of Separation
From the Beloved,
Source, Existence, LIFE!
Every morning I awaken
Dread pins me to the bed
The longing for Pillow talk
With the Beloved
NOW.
I want to Fall in Love.
Revealing the splendor
of Unity expressed
Moment by Moment.
Locked in an unending Embrace
Never ending
and totally Free.
I want to Fall in Love
with THIS,
Source, Unity,
Life itself
in all its wonder.

The Old Fabrics Weave.....

Peeling beck, peeling away
the Old beliefs have had their way with this Life.
Just last night revealed a core place of limitation.
An old Life threatening childhood event of fear and terror.
Elements of it still effect my choices
A new voice is rising;
I deserve quality mature love
I deserve to be listened to
I deserve to be engaged with intimacy in all its forms.
I deserve to Give freely and fully without fear
I deserve to Trust
I deserve to know when trust is not wise
I deserve Life.

Here's to 2011!

Christmas Day Vigil

As I sit with my friend, and landmate during this pre-active dying process there is a continual reminder of the paradox of Life and Death. The frequency of the atmosphere is getting finer and finer as he shifts. Most commonly called 'Hallucination', it appears more as a housecleaning, and releasing of the Old that is inhibiting the transition from Earthly body to Vastness of Being.
Just as everyone lives their life in their own uniqueness, so too our dying is done. Without agenda other than to be Comfort in Moment to Moment Presence, there is the underlying beauty of this Vigil atmosphere.
The death of a loved one rips open; gods hand demanding complete residence. Yet, there first is the railing of 'How can there be a God who does this?'. All must pass through these portals to Meet our Truths.
There is the depth of neutrality here, the human condition allows for grief and loss, the Spirit Knows what resides Here always. This Heart is the Heart of all now. There is no individual attachment found in these moments that imply 'loss'.

Blessings to all who travel the path of Being With.

Turning Times of Seasonal Shift

Birth of second grandson, James Samuel, and the Cancer Dance Journey of Landmate, Kenny brings to the foreground the impermanence of this we call Life. Recently there have been reminders of the fact that if all particulate matter was brought together, all space removed, it would amount to the size of a pea.

The profoundly brilliant capability of the mind to manufacture in such detail the existence of what is perceived is continually amazing. And that it can imagine the Universe, the particles, the space, and the pea. oh yeah, and the human! All concepts of the mind.

Humans exist because they exist in the mind, not only the individual mind but the cultural mind, the earthly mind, the mind of mass consciousness. One can be ignorant of that fact, or one can become aware of that fact.

Who wants to know this fact that will eradicate ones existence? Who wants to unravel the multidimensional threads of the tapestry of our existence? Only a Fool I suppose. To what purpose does this Knowing serve?

Building over the last several decades has been an increase in sensing an impending big shift or change coming. Every religion, philosophy, spiritual path has explanations and answers, each with its own validation of its particularity of Rightness.
Perhaps the impending change is that all will come to know what the movie THE MATRIX has revealed, its a program running, and we are running with it. But what the movie doesn't reveal, or at least that I can recall, is that there is nothing on the other side of the program, nothing as an option, no-thing, nothing.
Even as i type this the constructs of my own existence rattle and rail at the possibility that all the efforting, growth, deep introspection, and plum hard life stuff has no 'value', no substance, no purpose. Perhaps only to hone the system of constructs called 'Sunny' to be relatively receptive to the fact that IT doesn't exist!

There is enough knowing here to know IT doesnt exist, and, although there still is much participation in the human scenario, there never leaves the consciousness that what is happening or appearing to happen is not THAT, the Real, the Vast Nothingness.
There seems to be honing of a kindness, a gentleness toward others as they are fully engaged in the appearances. No longer driven by the urgency that kept Sunny seeking to Know, now 'Sunny' Knows, and knows it is Known. Nothing more to do. Each interaction will reflect its particularity of engagement, and be responded to in a kind manner. It is not anyone's 'job' to blow open anyone and everyone's perception, unless, of course, if they ask. Even then they are only asking from the conceptual minds view.

In the realm of no-thought, no existence, Existence Exists.
In the realm of Realization there is separation, for if there is something realizing something then there only can be a something previously not realized. It does point to a directional movement of Existence Realizing Itself, and yet it may too be realizing itself just as fully as an active member of mass consciousness fully imbibing in the delusion and distortion of Human experience.

In Kirkland, Washington there is a week old baby boy whom I have not yet met, who is a part of the lineage passing through this one called 'Sunny'. To what degree there will be participation in his life is unknown at this time, as are many relationship interactions, no longer known or planned. The Unfolding of each moment now gives ground for the Realization of All that Is, Here, Now. Nothing more than what is Here.
Here in the recliner a few feet away is my friend, Kenny, sleeping, resting, as the body goes through its attempts to claim and own Life. Again no longer known or planned. Moment by Moment, Life Is.

All my life there has been a tenacious striving for the elusive knowing of what wasn't known. The drive was visceral. Others have used many words to describe their perceptions and interpretation of ITs expression. IT is gone now, as is remnants of the particularities of 'Sunny'. Yes, the name still turns my head, answers, gets me through the airport security system, but no longer filled with a desire to Know. The old Habit Body, the Pain Body, the concentrations of limited view have less and less momentum, they have become less effectual.

New eyes
New Life
New Mind
Awaits the Moments Arrival
Here
Now
Being No-thing More.

Blessings in the Experience of Life and how it Dances You!
Sunny