Transistions....

Is it the Times? my age? Gallactic Influences? Alien Implants gone screwy? or am i perhaps just crossing over the line into insanity?
Compression, tension, pressure seems to be building. I hear from so many people their experiencing of these states. I feel it myself. People are dying. People are suicidal. People are dosing themselves bigger and bigger on ideas to get them excited, motivated, moving away from whatever it is they are feeling that is apparently not acceptable.
This is difficult, painful, uncomfortable, yet it is what is presenting itself. To do anything but face it is avoidance, denial. This trac is not for the faint of heart. Is it the 'right way' to be? I dont know. I know that experiencing trying to change how I feel, or what is happening has lead to pain. I know that this moment holds everything. And this moment right now appears as compression, tension, and pressure.

A seed dropped from dried flowers head
Enveloped well in damp soils bed
For Fall and Winters Holding Time
'Til Springs Touch does remind
That Sun and warmth does magic bring
Seeds hardened shell to newly sing
Light songs of Springs Softening
To Dance yet again
In this, the Cycle of Life.

Unfolding Life is Mystery.
Revealing only that which is needed NOW.
I get so impatient, scared, excited, enthusiastic, compressed.......etc....etc......etc...........

Revealings....

Every circumstance person event etc has the alchemical potency to reveal an aspect of ourselves that is coming to consciousness. The mechanisms of the personality are complex. There is no 'one way'. Each moment is to be met freshly.
Today, this moment, provides a glimpse of facets of this complexity.
After years of living a dedicated monk-like life I tentatively explored more social interaction including a brief and powerful experience of the dating consciousness. After meeting with an acquaintance for an extended day of getting to know one another i experienced 'being touched' deeply, in a way I had not ever experienced. Powerful, deep. Having had theses sensations it became so clear that the Mind was immediate in its taking the preciousness of initial Touching and making it into forms, expressions, and meanings that 'fit' in day to day life. The most blatant was that it immediately made it about THAT PERSON.
How can it be that when an experience within is strong and clear that the mind so quickly points to an 'object' appearing as outside ourselves and says 'THAT is the cause of this'. Forever grateful I am to the person who willingly entered into this alchemical potent meeting that also experienced deep activation, but to make it THEM and forget about the Source seems to be missing the point of what Grace provides.
to be continued.......

this day....

Cracking Open.....

Ache in the chest as Heart is stretched, pulled, coaxed, drawn Open.
Tears lingering on eyelashes for most the day.
Everything looks kinda fuzzy, yet more clear than ever.
Paradox after paradox.
Old images, old bits and pieces of lifes 'owies' appearing
as exiting ghosts gleefully fleeing!
Nothing new but the freshness of Not Knowing
Nervous system vibrating incoherently
resonating with the Tone of Home.
This Homing Beacon
This Tractor Beam has me
Yes i say
yes and yes again
there is NOTHING else desired here but the essence of Yes.

Living Awareness

In the ongoing Unfolding in this one called Sunny, there has been many arguments along the way regarding the application of the truths of Awareness Present and the tasks and responsibilities of daily life. The Argumentor I call it, is avid, enthusiastic, precise, and acute in perception.

This aspect has been a fine one to keep the Inquiry fires burning hot, honing the process to a fine sharp edge now capable of cutting through more course fabrics of illusionary perceptions, crystallized conditionings, and the mechanicality of what I refer to as the Habit Body.

For a long arduous time there was struggle, investigation, argument. Well placed and utilized as it was, it subtly maintained polarity, duality. None of which, upon seeing it for what it was looked at all like I thought it would! (A revealing clue of the thinking we do and where it leads us, and steers us elsewhere!)

The integration of Awareness has eased the grip and reactivity of the Argumentor. There is, well, an integration happening. Challenging to formulate accurately, the Veils of illusion are being lifted mroe frequently in the midst of the daily 'outer' life, revealing it for the Essence that it is, rather than inviting the belief in the presentation or, style, of the moment as it is Unfolding.

I continue to explore and deepen with the Formations insight, the Mitosis Insight recently written of. There is powerful insight and support available when Mind with its powers of registering detail, cataloging and sorting, turned to the more subtle and fine sensings of Lifes arising at the moment of transforming from Unseen to Seen, from Non-manifest to Manifest.

The course layers of finite perception are being gently sanded moment after moment with the realizations and verifications of the existence of Existence. The Unnameable undeniably experienced and respectfully remaining unnamed. At the cellular level there is tremendous support for Freedom to arise. Freedom from the holding of limited thinking, contracted feeling, and structured movement.

As the days of investigation continue there has been an increase in physical energy, an release of chronic sensations of pain and limited movement in various parts of the physical body, and a broadening in Understanding of what is perceived and its underlying meanings.

For a variety of reasons it has been 15 years since I had been able to run. i now jog 1.5 miles every morning. For the past two years I had an ongoing debilitating chronic pain in my abdomen, gone it is now for a month, Emotional pain from relationships that have dissolved rather than playing the same emotional loop time after time there is expanded consciousness and Understanding of the broader vibrational pallet being played out. Nothing lost, everything gained.

This bridge point of Light into Life, Unseen to the Seen where Nothing changes into Every Thing
yet Nothing changed at all is a transformative ingoing unending Fountain of Essence.

I welcome dialog regarding the experiences of this nature.
May this Day and all its Moments Bless you with meeting your Self!!!!