Stillness on the Move

Cooking.......

2011-04-18T12:14:00.002-07:00

A writing from a Good Friend that speaks well of the state I am in at this time, the cooking has lead to this stage........

Once or twice in a lifetime,
a man or woman may choose
a radical leaving, having heard
Lech L'cha- GO FORTH
God disturbs us toward our destiny
by hard events and by freedom's now urgent voice
which explode and confirm who we are.
We don't like leaving,
but God loves becoming.

Constantly Reminded........

2011-03-28T17:11:00.002-07:00

This life is not what I think
though the outcome is profoundly effected by HOW I think
and the content of said thinking.
yet the comprehension of the Thinking Unit cannot in way shape or form include what is truly Here
Now
Real.
When the Thinking Unit is utilized by Essential Nature of who and what we truly are, then there is comprehension, beyond any thought.
The Flow of Life through our breath, through our veins, through our activity, and through our stillness moves without effort. Constantly.
Via inviting the mind to register, listen, note the verifiable activities of the Life flowing into and through the body our thoughts are shifted.
Constantly reminded
I Am
of all that Is
in the simplicity of Being
Breathing
Being.

Fresh.....

2011-03-24T12:13:00.002-07:00

Spring is arriving in the Northwest; buds, blossoms, and aromas seduce the senses.
Delight in the fact we made it through another winter, why is it always such a surprise?!?
These blessings speak well of the primal human cycle, and meet sensory needs of confirmation of Life active and well, they also mirror movement on a levels that are not tangible to the senses of the human body. There has been the long Winters gestation within a system that is both in the body but not of the body. Something growing, but not doing anything. Something reaching, but not wanting. And now Fresh Light has entered, or been entered. Blossoming rising from within that goes no where, but touches everything.
There can no longer be a holding back, or dumbing down, or confinement of that which already is. All of that is merely an old expression of habit.
Dare to Be your Self.
no longer daring.
now Being.
no Effort, nothing needed. nothing lost, nothing found.
Here.
Now.
Fullness of Life.
NO Big Deal.
Just Everything that matters!

May all Being know peace
May all being taste ease
May all Being be freed from constraints of the mind.
May all Being Know Life
May all Being Know Breath
May all Being Be Free.

Nothin' special........

2011-02-16T18:56:00.003-08:00

I've been arguing about Love
for quite a long time now
We toss this word around
as though its in our back pocket
Like we have known it to its depths
since our crib days

I argue
we don't know what we are talking about
and when we talk about it
how we talk about it takes us
in the exact opposite direction
of that which we want to be going toward.

I argue
even when i sign off emails
with 'love' in all caps
like its something special
cuz I want to point to something
that has substance
that I can give my full weight to
that I can lean on
and give some to you
and I miss the point
every time

I argue
there is nothing
that we can name
and have it be real
it is by far better
to not speak of that which is dear
to our hearts
for it remains in its pristine
state of our emotional body
the energetic field of our knowing
the FEELING of it
in our body

I argue that any words
about god or religion
or spirituality
are signs
leading us astray
from the very fact
of what is right HERE

I argue that we've been
barking up the wrong basket of eggs
I argue that we have devoted
to the very thing
that takes us away from
what is HERE
no matter when we call it.

I argue
that we are nothing special
as long as we think
we are, or arent.
and the special is HERE
right inside our skin
but not our skin
but with no name
or shape or form

I argue
until HERE
until NOW.

Late Winter, Looking for Springs arising......

2011-02-09T09:08:00.003-08:00

I want to Fall in Love
And so I Am
Walking hand in hand with Life
In the company of Hearts
Who know only their own song
Singing with voices
That have been singing all along
Though many may have spent
Years beneath the bushel
NOW each voice shines
in its own tone
and vibrancy!
How can one NOT fall in Love?
How can One not feel the arising
Of Springs thrust
Inevitable
Undeniable
Like the Egyptian Peoples uprising
We shall not be denied!!
THIS shall not be denied.
This Heart is ripe
For Fullness
Hungering for Unity's Embrace
I want to FALL in LOVE
Who is willing to enter?
Who is willing to step to the music?
The Pulse of Life
Rocks the Beat
Do I Dare?
How can I not?
Who says i haven't?
Do not presume
This means I am Happy
Do not assume this means
I am 'up'.
I am in the depths of anguish
The Ache of Separation
From the Beloved,
Source, Existence, LIFE!
Every morning I awaken
Dread pins me to the bed
The longing for Pillow talk
With the Beloved
NOW.
I want to Fall in Love.
Revealing the splendor
of Unity expressed
Moment by Moment.
Locked in an unending Embrace
Never ending
and totally Free.
I want to Fall in Love
with THIS,
Source, Unity,
Life itself
in all its wonder.

The Old Fabrics Weave.....

2011-01-03T16:57:00.002-08:00

Peeling beck, peeling away
the Old beliefs have had their way with this Life.
Just last night revealed a core place of limitation.
An old Life threatening childhood event of fear and terror.
Elements of it still effect my choices
A new voice is rising;
I deserve quality mature love
I deserve to be listened to
I deserve to be engaged with intimacy in all its forms.
I deserve to Give freely and fully without fear
I deserve to Trust
I deserve to know when trust is not wise
I deserve Life.

Here's to 2011!

Christmas Day Vigil

2010-12-25T16:30:00.002-08:00

As I sit with my friend, and landmate during this pre-active dying process there is a continual reminder of the paradox of Life and Death. The frequency of the atmosphere is getting finer and finer as he shifts. Most commonly called 'Hallucination', it appears more as a housecleaning, and releasing of the Old that is inhibiting the transition from Earthly body to Vastness of Being.
Just as everyone lives their life in their own uniqueness, so too our dying is done. Without agenda other than to be Comfort in Moment to Moment Presence, there is the underlying beauty of this Vigil atmosphere.
The death of a loved one rips open; gods hand demanding complete residence. Yet, there first is the railing of 'How can there be a God who does this?'. All must pass through these portals to Meet our Truths.
There is the depth of neutrality here, the human condition allows for grief and loss, the Spirit Knows what resides Here always. This Heart is the Heart of all now. There is no individual attachment found in these moments that imply 'loss'.

Blessings to all who travel the path of Being With.

Turning Times of Seasonal Shift

2010-12-19T09:52:00.003-08:00

Birth of second grandson, James Samuel, and the Cancer Dance Journey of Landmate, Kenny brings to the foreground the impermanence of this we call Life. Recently there have been reminders of the fact that if all particulate matter was brought together, all space removed, it would amount to the size of a pea.

The profoundly brilliant capability of the mind to manufacture in such detail the existence of what is perceived is continually amazing. And that it can imagine the Universe, the particles, the space, and the pea. oh yeah, and the human! All concepts of the mind.

Humans exist because they exist in the mind, not only the individual mind but the cultural mind, the earthly mind, the mind of mass consciousness. One can be ignorant of that fact, or one can become aware of that fact.

Who wants to know this fact that will eradicate ones existence? Who wants to unravel the multidimensional threads of the tapestry of our existence? Only a Fool I suppose. To what purpose does this Knowing serve?

Building over the last several decades has been an increase in sensing an impending big shift or change coming. Every religion, philosophy, spiritual path has explanations and answers, each with its own validation of its particularity of Rightness.
Perhaps the impending change is that all will come to know what the movie THE MATRIX has revealed, its a program running, and we are running with it. But what the movie doesn't reveal, or at least that I can recall, is that there is nothing on the other side of the program, nothing as an option, no-thing, nothing.
Even as i type this the constructs of my own existence rattle and rail at the possibility that all the efforting, growth, deep introspection, and plum hard life stuff has no 'value', no substance, no purpose. Perhaps only to hone the system of constructs called 'Sunny' to be relatively receptive to the fact that IT doesn't exist!

There is enough knowing here to know IT doesnt exist, and, although there still is much participation in the human scenario, there never leaves the consciousness that what is happening or appearing to happen is not THAT, the Real, the Vast Nothingness.
There seems to be honing of a kindness, a gentleness toward others as they are fully engaged in the appearances. No longer driven by the urgency that kept Sunny seeking to Know, now 'Sunny' Knows, and knows it is Known. Nothing more to do. Each interaction will reflect its particularity of engagement, and be responded to in a kind manner. It is not anyone's 'job' to blow open anyone and everyone's perception, unless, of course, if they ask. Even then they are only asking from the conceptual minds view.

In the realm of no-thought, no existence, Existence Exists.
In the realm of Realization there is separation, for if there is something realizing something then there only can be a something previously not realized. It does point to a directional movement of Existence Realizing Itself, and yet it may too be realizing itself just as fully as an active member of mass consciousness fully imbibing in the delusion and distortion of Human experience.

In Kirkland, Washington there is a week old baby boy whom I have not yet met, who is a part of the lineage passing through this one called 'Sunny'. To what degree there will be participation in his life is unknown at this time, as are many relationship interactions, no longer known or planned. The Unfolding of each moment now gives ground for the Realization of All that Is, Here, Now. Nothing more than what is Here.
Here in the recliner a few feet away is my friend, Kenny, sleeping, resting, as the body goes through its attempts to claim and own Life. Again no longer known or planned. Moment by Moment, Life Is.

All my life there has been a tenacious striving for the elusive knowing of what wasn't known. The drive was visceral. Others have used many words to describe their perceptions and interpretation of ITs expression. IT is gone now, as is remnants of the particularities of 'Sunny'. Yes, the name still turns my head, answers, gets me through the airport security system, but no longer filled with a desire to Know. The old Habit Body, the Pain Body, the concentrations of limited view have less and less momentum, they have become less effectual.

New eyes
New Life
New Mind
Awaits the Moments Arrival
Here
Now
Being No-thing More.

Blessings in the Experience of Life and how it Dances You!
Sunny

Giving.......Thanks........Giving

2010-11-23T12:54:00.004-08:00

These days are ripe with the beckonings of Fall/ Winter transitions; harvesting the plethora of pumpkins from the garden reflects the 'just desserts' being harvested within from Summers labors. The drawing in, drawing from within, to draw from....deepening the embodiment of Knowledge reaped from Summers harvest of Essential Seeds planted, nurtured, and fed.

Second grandson is due to arrive not long after first grandsons second birthday this coming Saturday. Dear friend Peter left his form just weeks ago. Life comes Life goes, nothing changes but the form.

These Turning Times are ever increasing in all factors. Some experience more pressure, faster passage of time, a sense of calm urgency, or an urgent emergence!
Like the plants beneath an adequate sun, with balance of water, air, and mineral we are growing and being grown, quickened. As the plants in late summer and fall begin to store the sugars, to sweeten naturally. This past two days of cold weather and dusting of snow reminds us of the natural mechanism within to heat, to warm.

Listen to the body, with the heart. Listen for the whispers of guidance, nudges to step away from conditioning and social training. Begin, and continue to deepen relationship with the only guidance there is, the paradoxical Guru Within that is No Where.

The senses perceive, the mind categorizes: Essence Sees and Knows.
Beyond the senses and the categories there is an expansiveness that includes all phenomena. Be in Life the expansiveness of Life, allow senses to perceive and unperceive. That which comes and goes is a vapor trail of the underlying arising of Life in Essential formlessness temporarily taking form. See What IS, not what is perceived.

Gratitude and Thanks for the technology that allows this expression. and for the expressions of Life appearing as mentors, friends and loved ones.
Blessed Be!
Happy Thanks Day!!

Transistions....

2010-09-21T07:21:00.002-07:00

Is it the Times? my age? Gallactic Influences? Alien Implants gone screwy? or am i perhaps just crossing over the line into insanity?
Compression, tension, pressure seems to be building. I hear from so many people their experiencing of these states. I feel it myself. People are dying. People are suicidal. People are dosing themselves bigger and bigger on ideas to get them excited, motivated, moving away from whatever it is they are feeling that is apparently not acceptable.
This is difficult, painful, uncomfortable, yet it is what is presenting itself. To do anything but face it is avoidance, denial. This trac is not for the faint of heart. Is it the 'right way' to be? I dont know. I know that experiencing trying to change how I feel, or what is happening has lead to pain. I know that this moment holds everything. And this moment right now appears as compression, tension, and pressure.

A seed dropped from dried flowers head
Enveloped well in damp soils bed
For Fall and Winters Holding Time
'Til Springs Touch does remind
That Sun and warmth does magic bring
Seeds hardened shell to newly sing
Light songs of Springs Softening
To Dance yet again
In this, the Cycle of Life.

Unfolding Life is Mystery.
Revealing only that which is needed NOW.
I get so impatient, scared, excited, enthusiastic, compressed.......etc....etc......etc...........

Revealings....

2010-09-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

Every circumstance person event etc has the alchemical potency to reveal an aspect of ourselves that is coming to consciousness. The mechanisms of the personality are complex. There is no 'one way'. Each moment is to be met freshly.
Today, this moment, provides a glimpse of facets of this complexity.
After years of living a dedicated monk-like life I tentatively explored more social interaction including a brief and powerful experience of the dating consciousness. After meeting with an acquaintance for an extended day of getting to know one another i experienced 'being touched' deeply, in a way I had not ever experienced. Powerful, deep. Having had theses sensations it became so clear that the Mind was immediate in its taking the preciousness of initial Touching and making it into forms, expressions, and meanings that 'fit' in day to day life. The most blatant was that it immediately made it about THAT PERSON.
How can it be that when an experience within is strong and clear that the mind so quickly points to an 'object' appearing as outside ourselves and says 'THAT is the cause of this'. Forever grateful I am to the person who willingly entered into this alchemical potent meeting that also experienced deep activation, but to make it THEM and forget about the Source seems to be missing the point of what Grace provides.
to be continued.......

this day....

2010-08-06T14:18:00.001-07:00

Cracking Open.....

2010-06-22T19:56:00.002-07:00

Ache in the chest as Heart is stretched, pulled, coaxed, drawn Open.
Tears lingering on eyelashes for most the day.
Everything looks kinda fuzzy, yet more clear than ever.
Paradox after paradox.
Old images, old bits and pieces of lifes 'owies' appearing
as exiting ghosts gleefully fleeing!
Nothing new but the freshness of Not Knowing
Nervous system vibrating incoherently
resonating with the Tone of Home.
This Homing Beacon
This Tractor Beam has me
Yes i say
yes and yes again
there is NOTHING else desired here but the essence of Yes.

Living Awareness

2010-06-14T13:00:00.002-07:00

In the ongoing Unfolding in this one called Sunny, there has been many arguments along the way regarding the application of the truths of Awareness Present and the tasks and responsibilities of daily life. The Argumentor I call it, is avid, enthusiastic, precise, and acute in perception.

This aspect has been a fine one to keep the Inquiry fires burning hot, honing the process to a fine sharp edge now capable of cutting through more course fabrics of illusionary perceptions, crystallized conditionings, and the mechanicality of what I refer to as the Habit Body.

For a long arduous time there was struggle, investigation, argument. Well placed and utilized as it was, it subtly maintained polarity, duality. None of which, upon seeing it for what it was looked at all like I thought it would! (A revealing clue of the thinking we do and where it leads us, and steers us elsewhere!)

The integration of Awareness has eased the grip and reactivity of the Argumentor. There is, well, an integration happening. Challenging to formulate accurately, the Veils of illusion are being lifted mroe frequently in the midst of the daily 'outer' life, revealing it for the Essence that it is, rather than inviting the belief in the presentation or, style, of the moment as it is Unfolding.

I continue to explore and deepen with the Formations insight, the Mitosis Insight recently written of. There is powerful insight and support available when Mind with its powers of registering detail, cataloging and sorting, turned to the more subtle and fine sensings of Lifes arising at the moment of transforming from Unseen to Seen, from Non-manifest to Manifest.

The course layers of finite perception are being gently sanded moment after moment with the realizations and verifications of the existence of Existence. The Unnameable undeniably experienced and respectfully remaining unnamed. At the cellular level there is tremendous support for Freedom to arise. Freedom from the holding of limited thinking, contracted feeling, and structured movement.

As the days of investigation continue there has been an increase in physical energy, an release of chronic sensations of pain and limited movement in various parts of the physical body, and a broadening in Understanding of what is perceived and its underlying meanings.

For a variety of reasons it has been 15 years since I had been able to run. i now jog 1.5 miles every morning. For the past two years I had an ongoing debilitating chronic pain in my abdomen, gone it is now for a month, Emotional pain from relationships that have dissolved rather than playing the same emotional loop time after time there is expanded consciousness and Understanding of the broader vibrational pallet being played out. Nothing lost, everything gained.

This bridge point of Light into Life, Unseen to the Seen where Nothing changes into Every Thing
yet Nothing changed at all is a transformative ingoing unending Fountain of Essence.

I welcome dialog regarding the experiences of this nature.
May this Day and all its Moments Bless you with meeting your Self!!!!

Formation Insight

2010-05-17T10:16:00.003-07:00

This is the first draft, a rough draft of the recent Insight and Realization experienced.
This is being developed into a longer writing, as the Realization continues to be embodied.

Please read with All your bodies, allow/invite the mental body to co-operate with ALL that is You.

Mitosis is the process in which the organic structure renews itself. Cells divide, replicating the structure, DNA, function and Purpose. It is estimated that the human body, depending on its size, is made up of approximately 100 trillion cells. The female sex cell, the oocyte, is about 35 microns in diameter, which puts it just on the edge of being visible if you have real good eyes. The male sex cell, spermatozoan, cell is only about 3 microns in diameter, and therefore is the smallest cell of the human body. Various other cell types have various other sizes within this range.

A cell whose receptors hold toxins, or less appropriate elements, minerals, etc., will release those toxins, etc. if the appropriate nutrients are in proximity to the cell membrane, AND easily and naturally absorb the more appropriate nutrients. (Juicy nutritional fact from Jan Yoder, acupuncturist and nutritionist in Vancouver, Washington).

From the above two statements two presumptions have been made;
cell division is happening at all times, and,
cells display an interactive aspect, an inherent ability to choose 'health'.

These aspects of cellular activity of the human body were taken into Inquiry/Meditation/deep Self-Observation where the following observations and experiences arose.

It is 'given' that there is something that causes the formation of physical Life, in this particular case, the human body. 'Something' comes to Life, Life comes to life. Many words and ways of languaging put forth the idea within a manner that 'makes sense'. There has been experience of this essential rising. I will not call it anything in particular at this time.

As Life forms Itself in the cell, and continues its formation via mitosis, the essential 'coming to Life' desire, activity, purpose is passed into every cell created. This formulation stems from observing and investigating the window of cell division that could be referred to as 'Where One becomes the Two'.

Life exists in the originating cell. As does that cells particular structure and purpose. Each cell, when duplicating itself makes another of itself; structure and purpose exact. Skin cells do not make sex cells. The cell also apparently carries with it the impressions of living. It has been said in many ways by many different teachers/teachings that our story, our history, our experiences, attitudes, beliefs, and ancestral patternings are held within the very cells of us.

At the moment of cell division when structure and purpose have been transferred there is a 'gap' a pause, an window where the new cell is pure in its existence; Life in its fullest pure physical formation, structure, function, purpose in place yet nothing of the story, the history, the memory, the identity and identification transferred as yet. It is said that the cell at this point is that of a newborn; pure, vital health. No aging, no history, no limitations.

If, at this very moment, the new cell is surrounded with the atmosphere of expanded consciousness, beyond the limitations of the material perspective, the new cell will release any of the potential continuation of the story, history, habit, identification, and, due to its ability to absorb the more accurate within its atmosphere it will fully absorb the more pure authentic nutrients of expanded consciousness.

This moment, Where the One becomes the Two, this Moment, THIS NOWness is a choice point. A place where the individual, in dedicating themselves to the expansion of consciousness from the limited, relative, material world to that which is all inclusive is transformative. Transformative in the practice itself of honing the atmosphere surrounding the cells, AND transformative as the new cells are formed without the limitations previously also held in the cell membrane.

It is suggested that as one is going to sleep at night to celebrate the arrival of these new pure cells, to increase the Awareness in the atmosphere of the consciousness of the body.

In working with this via Inquiry, Meditation, and varied daily practices I am expereiencing a tremendous alteration in the experience of life; renewed physical energy and appropriate weight loss, fresh open perspective toward life, deeply rooted happiness.

But please, don't take my word for it. check it out, try it out, investigate it. And let me know how it is for You!

Just think.... 100 trillion cells dividing.... so many choice points!

Thank you for reading.
Many blessings in this ongoing Unfolding!
In Love,
Sunny

Timeless Grace

2010-04-22T22:37:00.002-07:00

Mind says "this will take a long time."
Heart says, "I cannot wait."
Body says, "this hurts."
All the While You
Tear me Open
to receive
your Full Embrace
unencumbered by the clutter
of my missed understandings.
How I ache in this Meloncholy
Brought about by the Bliss of You
Having set up housekeeping in my Soul
As I continue to walk the driveway
Looking for the mail with Your Return Address!!!

Simplicity

2010-02-21T15:57:00.002-08:00

Every complication that rises
Is a gentle invitation
For the Breath to arrive
Unbidden, pure, simple.

This, and only This....

2010-02-09T09:18:00.004-08:00

Be still, for there is nothing more than Stillness.
Stillness is in every moment of Life Unfolding.
Be Still, for there is only Stillness within all activity.
Reside in Stillness, beyond the point of understanding.
Breathe Stillness, for the Breath of Life informs Everything.
Stillness is the foundation of all arising.
Be Stillness and all that is needed is available.
Everything that is needed is Within Stillness.

Meeting Ney

2009-11-03T08:25:00.002-08:00

The sound haunts my Soul
Beckoning me to dissolve in the Tone
Never before have I picked up a musical instrument and not been able to play SOMEthing
gratefully, not so with this one.
This one requires the kiss
that can come from no where but God breath
Again and again 'i' dissolve
not diminish
not expand
Be
Being Breath
Breathing
and every so often
there comes a Tone
that is fresh
and True

Mind immediately examines how did that happen?!
Mimic the body,
the breath,
and nothing
but air escaping from pursed lips
close my eyes
allow the softest kiss
to arise from these lips
releasing all tension
Allow this devotion
to Be the Breath
Being
Breathing
Praying
May this Form
Allow Breath to sing
through the simplicity of Ney
May this Devotion purify
in the simplicity of a Kiss.
And be Kissed in Return.

Unfolding NOW......

2009-09-05T11:29:00.002-07:00

For years
The Journey
was focal point
of this life.

All enthusiasm
laid claim
to Healing
this that appeared broken.

Now.
Nothing is broken
Never was.

Only the View
was skewed.
Limited by limits.

Now.
All is Welcomed.
No Matter what.

No Journey.
Now Journey.
Now...
and Now....

and THIS Now......

Vibrational Energetics

2009-06-27T09:28:00.002-07:00

As people continue to come to the Table, I am being guided more and more to assist their connecting with their True Nature via the physical Body. Having been trained in many forms of Bodywork, and in many more forms of Energy Work, there is an integration of all of it and a growth of something from that union. I have been instructed to call this work Vibrational Energetics.
With multiple components, Vibrational Energetics meets the physical body initially via the nervous system, and upon meeting establishes a cooperative dialog in which vitality, wisdom, integration, and release occur concurrently with dynamic guidance, and education.
Powerful, painless, profound, and efficient, Vibrational Energetics can be provided easily, no need for tools, equipment, or disrobing. Comfortable, deeply relaxing, and energizing, Vibrational Energetics supports each person in learning how to support the Next Step.

This modality of support is a timely gift being offered to all who are interested. House Gatherings, private sessions, indoors or outdoors, all that is needed is a comfortable place to sit or lie down.

When interest arises, call or write to schedule your sessions.
THE MENU:
Private sessions (discounts for sponsoring multiple sessions in your home or office)
Group sessions
Individual and group trainings
Phone sessions
Distance sessions upon completion of module I

email, call for scheduling.

Strip away....

2009-06-27T09:15:00.002-07:00

Strip away these unnecessary cloaks
Take away all that keeps me from You
No matter that I may scream and cry
it is only fear that keeps me
from rejoicing in this Divine Takeover

Take away these silly glasses
that I may Truly See
Weary as I am I bend to my Desire
to be your servant, your messenger

You are the Wind
Make me a Mast
Strip away the tears
the veils
the cloaks

Take this Fear
Take it NOW
and NOW
and NOW
it is of no Use Here

*******************
Physical belongings have become burdensome
Even if the future includes a home
what is kept now has nothing to do with NOW
So it goes, so it goes.
Leaping Off the Cliff
Again
into the arms of the Wind
Again

Peeling away the layers of 'stuff'
So many good ideas
So many talents in this form
I offer the talents in raw form
no longer harbouring supplies
Letting it all go
Releasing
Re-Leasing
This Moment has everything that is Needed.
SO Be It
and So it Is.

Simple.....

2009-06-21T14:15:00.002-07:00

Taking this moment
to welcome Life
washing through this form
gently trans-forming this 'me'
to express and manifest
that which is True
and THAT alone
Surrendering to the Pulse of Now
Surrendering to ALL that Is
Gratitude abounds in every cell
Joyous Presence residing
Here
Alone
Only
All
Here
Wow!!
Yum!!!!

Who are You?

2009-06-18T08:54:00.002-07:00

Stop trying.
Stop looking.
Stop thinking.
Stop.
In the whisper of 'Stop'
there You are.
Stop frequently enough
and You are with me
All Ways
Stop Frequently enough
and all the trying,
all the looking,
all the thinking
is washed over and
over again
with You.
No longer a 'me' trying,
No longer a 'me' looking,
No longer a 'me' thinking.
Only You.
No more trying.
Only You Looking.
Only You Thinking.
Only You.

Use Me.....

2009-06-13T08:53:00.002-07:00

Use Me Dear Mother
Use me to bring Your Heart
Like a warm Blanket
wrapping Your Children
In Love unwavering.

Use Me Dear Father
Use Me to bring Your Heart
Like a Sunlit meadow
basking Your Children
In Love unwavering

Use Me Dear Life
Use Me to Be Your Heart
Love Everlasting
Washing All Children
In Love unwavering

Laying down all burdens
Moment after moment
I surrender this Shell
I evict my self
And Return Home
Take the Keys
Remodel this abode
in all fashion necessary
Love and Love Alone
is my LandLord

Wow.......

2009-06-12T11:14:00.002-07:00

Yes.
Say 'Yes'.
Feel its vibration in your body.
Say 'Yes!' and breathe it in.
Say 'Yes' with all your Heart
And Listen to the Echo
ReSounding in every cell
Say 'Yes'.
Now say 'No'.
Feel it in your body.
Note the difference.
Say 'Yes'
Say 'Yes' again
and again
Everything that happens begins with 'Yes'
and the cornerstone of anything that will grow or continue
is 'Yes!'
Say 'Yes'
KNOW you are saying 'Yes'.
Know it with all your Heart
Say 'Yes'
What follows is not our business
For with 'Yes' all is Done.
Say 'Yes'.
Say 'Yes' to NOW.
Say 'Yes' to This Moment.
'Yes'
'Yes'
'YES'
'YES!!'
Give your Life a big 'Yes!'
And allow the Flow of 'YES!'
to Wash you clean of all the No's
Yes.
YES.
YES!

Just say 'Yes!'

Willing to F*@k up.....

2009-06-10T11:23:00.001-07:00

You asked me for Gentle
It is a Fine place, 'gentle'
with many many faces.
Not all expressions 'match' in the moment.
Seeing that,
I have mined the territory
seeking UNDER standing
beneath the 'idea',
the word,
the cry for sweetness
in the face of vulnerable 'ouch'
in all its tone.

I would not have looked so deeply
had you not requested from
The midst of your Heart

And what I have found is a Love for you
so precious
and a sadness i have 'failed' to deliver accurately
something needed
and something so desired to be given
and under all of that I find
my willingness to 'goof'
and still remain with you
remain through it all
no matter how many times
I offer what i have
and its not a 'match'
I remain
For you
with You
in all my humanness
in all my g-dness
in all my wonder
of the matrix
of Deep Friendship
I remain
for You

Buffet of THIS.....

2009-06-09T11:59:00.002-07:00

I'm singing Hallalujah
in a quiet sort of Way
This Precious Heart is pulsing
Unfolding a simple day.

All the compressed cooking
Has brought me to my knees
Praying to be taken
in whatever way would please (G-d).

The chorus of the song
has a punch line oh so funny
All the reaching OUT
brought me home to 'Sunny'!

Now, That I Am Here
Nothing seems to matter
The Old Way sheds a tear
Delusions all can shatter

For nothing is more important
than the presence of this NOW
and nothing else is cooking
but a Hallalulic NOW!!!!

Today, the Sun Shines......

2009-06-01T08:48:00.002-07:00

Choice points of recognition
Come and go
Recognition remains
All Ways
This, This very 'stuff'
of which Life is made
IS allways and everywhere
Nothing to gain, or grasp
Or 'learn' from another
It is recognition
Decision (NOT from Mind)
And a shift
Reveals
There
Is
Nothing else to do, but
Realize what is HERE
Fully,
NOW.

chrysallis

2009-05-12T07:22:00.002-07:00

I came to Your table
I drank Your wine
I feasted with pleasure
On all that was mine

You gave me permission
To carry You on
then I found myself dying
where I didn’t belong

I have prayed for Your guidance
I have listened with Heart
I have done all Your bidding
As best I could start

Now the doorway is plastered
With nail, wood, and stone
And I am dissolving
mind/body and bone

No matter the reason
No matter the cause
No choices remain
But to follow Your Laws

Though lasting Existence
Is all that is left
This final resistance
Is just before death

May we feast with great pleasure
Transforming all to what’s Real
May Love flow in full measure
So all may be healed

approaching the Unknown.....

2009-05-10T13:17:00.003-07:00

Come face to face with the Unknown;
with fear,
with Light,
with fear,
with trust.
with determination,
with abandon,
with Fear,
with Hope.
With whatever there is,
Come to the Unknown.
no matter what.

If one has Love,
come with that,
if one has fear,
come with that.

The point is,
to come to the brink
the threshold
the edge, and over,
with whatever there is.
The point is; COME.

Anything short of coming to the Unknown is death;
either quick,
or slow.
Choose life
Come to the Unknown.
That which is most alive;
this Moment.
with everything you've got.

I am entering the threshold
with all that i have
taking out the trash
taking out the recycling
for its final re-use....

Offering the melting pot whatever resources
can be given over
the raw materials
to be used
for reconstruction of
nothingness.

Challenging to write
from the midst of it all.
Diving in.
Coming to the Portal
committed.
Coming with everything I've got;
Fear
Terror
commitment
commitment
dedication
resolve
Fear.

These are not my fears alone;
I bring the fears of my ancestral lineage.
Irish Heritage hell bent on survival.
Terror of annihilation.
Quantum Courage
The ultimate test for
Conscious Contact
Vibrational Energetics
test
test
one
two
three
test
test
test.............

for Life? or Death?

2009-05-08T11:09:00.002-07:00

Obligation, responsibility, reputation............
Upon this question there is pondering,
do each of these 'concepts', 'practices', 'beliefs'
bring Life into form?
or hold Life with limits?

To whom or what are 'we' obligated? responsible?

Before answering quickly, examine what is the foundation of these 'precepts'.

NOW

2009-05-08T08:33:00.001-07:00

I am breaking apart
into millions of pieces
snowflakes dissolving

L O N G Haul.....

2009-05-07T08:05:00.002-07:00

Dredging the swamp for all the lowly creatures who fear the Light.
I have found many.
and they have found me.
In the thick of the cleansing clearing, I am.
human mind has so much resistance to the Light.
Though the terrors and the fears are constant
something in me Knows there is only This.
Committed to deeply anchor the Light
into the depths of the Swamp
I cast Sail for higher elevations
For a 24/7 Depth Charge
Spring Housecleaning
A finality of This
I Am.

a Beautiful Flow....

2009-03-26T10:27:00.003-07:00

I am loving the wonder of Life unfolding without my interference.
Though conditioning often has a knee jerk reaction to conditions narrowly named by Mind, there is no longer the action that follows. The Easing is genereous. Wonderous magic of the simplicity of Life being, Being.

There is 'Place' for me to thrive in, from.
There is Space for this Form to be fully tended to; rest, nutrition, conscious community, deepening contemplation, creative expression through painting, music, writing, prayers, companioning with those who come to the door.

There is no single Beloved other than the One. And the ONe shows up in EveryOne! So all are the Beloved, and I too am included. And there is nothing here, HERE, BUT the One, the Beloved. Wow, how precious is that?

We are Quickening. Life is stepping up its pace in the Dance of Awakening, from Waltz to Tango, from HIp and Hop to the Whirling of the Dirvish! At the Core of it all is the Stillness, The Source, the Core. And in that there is All and Nothing, and Everything.

So here we are on the ride, this joyous fascinating ride of wonder at one of the most tremendously changing times of humanity. YEEEHAAA!! Giddy-up!!! Blessed Be. How may I be of Service?
ahh, yes, Be. Dare to Be. Dare to Show Up.
Here. Here. I Am.
Here.

InJoy,
Sunny

Keep it simple.....

2009-03-08T07:20:00.002-07:00

Looking for a place to live. And to Live from.
A room with enough room. (12x12 or larger)
A place to keep extraneous stuff: backpacking gear, some tools, extra canvases, etc.
Room in the kitchen for Excalibur food drier, sprouting jars, and food processor (Raw cuisine).
drug and alcohol free. (me: clean and sober 24 years)
Conscious living... recycle, self respect, respect for others and the atmosphere in which we live.
a bit of soil to grow some food! YEA! Gardens!!!!
Welcoming. WellComing. Community. ComeUnity.
Blessings, many many blessings!

no place like hOMe.....

2009-03-06T21:45:00.003-08:00

I have been given a gift of late; for the past 5 weeks living in a household of good folk who dont know of, or if they do, do not have an interest in living in Unity. ComeUnity. This one, me, gets caught by surprise at that fact. Like everyone else there is the underlying presumtion that others see the world as we do. So this has been a HUGE gift.

Fascinating to do this thorough research on the energetics of this kind of misalignment.
so now I am actively seeking hOMe with people who CARE about their home, their food, their relations with all of Life. Knowing on some level that there is Life in everything, which has due respect.

We need to grow our food. I love to garden.
Simplicity supports simplicity. I am vegetarian, moving toward raw.
Our living space reflects our consciousness, I am organized, and clean up after myself.
We effect each other, I make sure there is a roll of toilet paper available in the bathroom when I am done.
Deepening our relationship with Spirit; Higher Power, God, Source, Love is essential to our lives and our survival. I meditate everyday, and all of my activities are some form of prayer and/or meditation.
Expressing our connection to Existence via creativity is essential to our connection with all of life. I paint sacred portraits, write chants, and contemplative guitar music.
Tending to our home space invests our Hearts, I am happy to fix, repair, improve stuff around the house. It too is a prayer.
All beings are Life manifesting; I love children, animals, plants, rocks, and the air and rain.
Life is diverse. I dont expect others to do what I do, I do expect respect.
I prefer to listen, and I appreciate being listened to.

Just a peek at what I look for in hOMe.
Home sweet Home!

This precious Life.....

2009-02-26T08:07:00.004-08:00

Long ago a friend made the comment to me,
"Planet Earth is for Slow Learners."
Hearing that, I finally felt as though I actually belonged here!

Blossoming within continues, a simple clarity. If Life is the Garden then this that is beginning to grow is more like the Asparagus plant rather than radish. Slow to germinate and slower to offer harvest. and yes, always well worth the wait!!

Most immediately there is Gratitude for all my Teachers who have tilled this Soil; each in their own way a very powerful transformative force, delivering the alchemical catalyst for Growth. Without the direct transmission, no-holds-barred, shoot-from-the-hip, profoundly Loving Guidance there would be no 'blog', no physical 'Sunny', and no Flow through this portal!
Gratitude barely comes close to the depth of indebtedness, credit, acknowledgment, and Heartfelt tears of Love.

The only thing that we as humans are called to 'do' is to turn our attention, our energy, our acknowledgment, our awareness to that which the Essence of who and what we are. The names are varied, and all applicable: Source, God, Higher Self, Allah, Buddha. The list could go on, but you get the point. It is not whether or not we are a 'this' or a 'that', it is that we turn ourselves fully to the 'this' or the 'that' !!!! Simple as that!!! or this!!!!!

Breathing.
This breath enters the physical body.
No mistake breath comes to the lungs
these receiving hands
that wrap around my Heart.
This breath, is G-d breathing,
Breathing this Body.
Breathing Life into Form
G-d BreathHands, these Lungs are.
Lungs receive the breath of G-d,
And Offer this Gift to Heart,
For Heart to Meet,
And receive G-d Breath.
This G-d Team; Lungs and Heart
Transforming G-d
into Life-Filled Blood
Pumped though this body
in the Rhythm of Life
Being
Breathed, and Breathing.
G-d Breath in,
Feeding and Fueling this body
With the Body of The Christ.
Apex of inhale,
All Old is handed back
Offered up to G-d
Fully Giving
For Giving
Forgiven on the Exhale.

And so the Dance truly begins
And continues.
The Divine Three Step,
For All Ways
For Ever.
Let the music begin,
this Drunkard shall dance on the tables
And Waltz through the Fields
Sipping on the Nectar
Drinking Freely from the Wineskins
Of G-d's Precious Christ.

Take me to the River.....

2009-02-18T07:37:00.002-08:00

This next round of willingness to allow myself to come to Self is a voluntary melting of the dam of separation. Sitting, just sitting, no technique, no purpose, no intention. Just sitting for the simplicity of sitting. and immediately arises is the childlike wonder of Presence!
So many aspects of this Unfolding, it is difficult to formulate in a manner that may make any sense! Sense to whom? DO I wish to make sense to your Mind? No. I do not wish to make sense to your Mind. I wish to make sense to that in You that resonates with the All Inclusive Presence of Existence, Life Itself. Your Soul.
I live in the city.
I have tried to live in the city in the past but always found myself in some state of overwhelm.
Now, I live in the city. And thrive.
Is the thriving due to living in the city? because of the city? I dont think so.
The base of reference is so much broader that there is nothing to tip away from.
All of what is here is so clearly Life, Life manifesting. Thats it. Downright Joyfull! Are the circumstances in the particulars joyfull? No, they are everything; happy, sad, devious, loving, numb, expanded. Life. Manifesting. Life existing in the physical earthly plane.

While sitting this morning, the sensation of sitting on a river bank, tossing in pebbles of what is willing to be let go of. Then the question comes, why not throw it ALL in? and the River and I become one. Washing, churning, flooding, oozing, flowing, Flowing Flowing, and there is breath, and there is pulse, and there is Flow.
THe thought comes, 'oh, maybe I better get ready for work?' and it is recognized as the mind thinking. the River Flows. Then the surge of wash lifts and urges, "Time to Flow out into the world." And I KNOW its time to get ready for work!!! Trusting the guidance of this inner flow, this is what Gert told me about so many years ago, so many years ago she told me over and over and over again, "when its time to address something the way to address it will be right there IN you!'.
IN Gratitude.

Infinite trails of Infinite training......

2009-02-16T08:15:00.001-08:00

Busking for God

You called me
Begged me to Sing
Extracted from me
Total Devotion to You
Fed only by Singing
Praise of Your Touch
Then You demanded
I burn away every Song
And forget it all
But the Devotion to You
And when the song arises
To stay with You
And You alone
No matter how inviting
The Harmonies of the song.

HA! The jokes on me!!!!

2009-02-10T09:44:00.003-08:00

okay, so Planet Earth is for S L O W Learners.....
and the mind does ever go to sleep!
as evidenced by its constant activity and excitement last night, throughout the whole night. Knowing full well my intention was to get up early (which I did), and to 'catch' the mind before it got active, (which i didnt) it would wake me up,
"Now?" (12:45 am)
"How about NOW?" (2:23 am)
"ah NOW!!!!" (4:12 am)
and when the alarm went off,
"hhhm, no, I'm sleepy, gotta zzz resstzzzzz" (5:01am)
"UP! YOU!!!! NOW!!!!!! No regrets to day for breaking this agreement!!! UP!!!"

Funny thing, sitting in stillness, mind was still, and when it wasnt, it was not trouble.
Stillness,
sitting with all that Is
makes all that Is
Stillness.
No Matter What!!

What a trip it is to be Human.

Renewal of Dedication.....

2009-02-09T19:39:00.003-08:00

This Full Moon I renew willingness, dedication, and faith.
The exercise given is to rise at 5 am every morning, before the mental body activates and sit in meditation fully giving over EVERYthing to God. Every thing. a prayer to cleanse this conduit, to free all the tangles big and small, to freshly wash the insides of this form; physical, mental, emotional, so Soul, Spirit, God can move freely.
Knowing how powerful it is to meditate with others, and living right now where I sit alone, I am working on a drawing for a painting/panel that is the rest of my circle; in meditation, washed in Light, full of Grace and Unity for my altar. Then as I sit and meditate there will be my circle in which I am but one of the One. One of the many, All of the One.

God has grabbed me again, claimed full refuge within this HeartSkin and taken over. Hallalujah!!!
Let this Tsunami of Inspiration rise and wash everything clean; once, and for All!!!

Warp and Weft.....

2009-01-27T20:13:00.001-08:00

And so the web is woven
From Heart to Holy Heart
Threaded Love rejoicing
Light shuttled from the start
Releasing all resistance
to the inevitable Embrace
Finding unknown Freedom
Blessed with Simple Grace.

~ written 1/27/09

Grassroots Sprouting

2009-01-11T11:05:00.001-08:00

As the United States Presidential campaign and election moves quickly toward Inauguration our role as members of this society also changes. The campaign coaxed us out of a long trance-like state, from the possibility to the probability of change and of Hope. Clearly stated at the polls, we embrace the possibility of again becoming a nation of compassion, intelligence, and proactive development. We, as a Nation, also embrace the possibility of each of us individually being changed for the better.

It is easy to say “Obama is great,” Obama is the change we need.” These statements are true. AND it is not Obama, the man that is the force within the change. It is the principles, beliefs, and energy that Obama embodies. Those very same principles, beliefs, and energies are in each of us as well. Whether or not we are aware of any of it within us, we continually are reminded of its existence when we see him, hear him, or even see or speak his name.

Our vote was the first step. Our next step, individually and collectively is to proactively consider participating in all the many ways of setting aside the habitual, familiar disheartened fear so well fed over the past nearly decade. It is an old pattern, well practiced, and valid in many respects. This kind of change is not easy, simple, nor quick. Yet it is the kind of change that is being called forth by the very fact of the election of new presidency. Our vote also cast a vote for the faith in our inner resources to step forth in a new way, a fresh way, a way seasoned with Hope and Possibility.

Always when something of value has entered our lives we have different emotions arise regarding its longevity and sustainability. The old habit is to immediately fear; to fear the loss of one whom has brought us out of trance, instilled the seeds of Hope, and opened our eyes and perhaps our hearts to the possibility of connection as family, community, and nation.

When the old ways of thinking rise, -perhaps being fearful for the safety of Obama- whether in our own minds or in conversations with others, let us stop and remember our vote, recall the Hope planted within us, the desire for fresh new ways, and turn that rising energy immediately to thoughts of goodness, prayer, supportive positive attitude In all ways regarding this incredible threshold on which we now stand.

Let’s help each other remember our vote; that is was a vote not for a man, but for a new way of life in which we can each actively welcome, participate, and embody.

One more crinkle Unfolded!!!

2009-01-04T11:00:00.002-08:00

All the bustle and movement of this city is a constant reminder of the precious diversity of how the One, Unity, the Beloved manifests. The sounds, the activity, the compression of the atmosphere is all continual reminder of the very Presence of THAT which is in everything; call that God, Love, Source, The Beloved, The One. Call it what you wish, and know that in calling it, it comes!

Precious views of how the little mind, the personality, the Nefs, the Ego steps in front of the Light that is all of the Above (Love,Source, God, etc), causing a Shadow, and then saying,
"OOOOHH!! that's ME!!!!!"
Now, right NOW, there is HUGE support for experiencing beyond all senses the Presence of the very thing we all are wanting. The Presence of that which is available at all times, that is Within, in the Indweller, some say, The God-Light.
And to gently step from the view of the little mind smack dab into NOW of who/what You truly ARE!

Over and over again we are invited by the very events that take place in everyday life to see beyond the limited view of the small mind, expanded beyond the limitations of the physical body and the mind that is partnered with it. Every day the activities that reveal us to ourselves, that show how we view the world, how we think, and the ensuing feelings that arise in response (or reaction) to the thoughts reveal what is in us and ready to be released!!!!!
It's up, right? Fear, disappointment, anger, joy... all of these states reveal what is up in our small self right now. Each one has a quality that is formed by our thinking; whether its thinking we were trained to do from our upbringing (family, society, schooling, etc), or its what we have formed from our experiences as human. And because it is up, and not buried, this moment that it rises is a monet of willingness being expressed to let it continue its movement, up, up , and away! out! gone! released! Bye-bye!!!!!
If we step to a neutral posture when stuff comes up, allowing the base energy to move freely up and gone, we are not only released from the trap of that limited and skewed view, but we are also participating in freeing the energy that exists in everyone and everything. The release is not contained only in 'us'!!!! What a powerful way, simple, always available, to bring Peace Truly!!!!

Knowing this changes the perpsective of when the 'less than desireable-things-happen'; from contraction and fear to expansion/neutrality and support!!!

This totally transforms the concept of right/wrong;
'right' now can be measured by,
"Am I allowing the energy to move freely through without attaching my minds ideas or labels to it?"
OR
"am I naming this event, this feeling, this thought and contricting around it?"

This is so exciting!!!

try it out!
let me know how it goes!!

Many blessings on every moment of Life!
Sunny

A Precious Time......

2008-12-26T09:52:00.002-08:00

Welcome to this new time; fresh snow, a 'new year' just around the corner, energetic presence stronger than ever before! Wow, what a time to be alive!

For the first time in a couple weeks the sun is shining in this snowed in Portland Metro area. The low light brings a glow not unlike that which is growing in every one of us. Know it or not, we are awakening. Like it or not, change is on upon is.

I am inherently an optimist. Some have 'accused' me, some have 'diagnosed' me of being Polly Anna-ish. Quiet in this view, I am. People like to have their perspective respected, hence, I say little these days about what I am sensing deep in my cells; there is change underfoot, literally and figuratively. Good change, it is. Change that we have been praying for for decades. Remember?

"The system needs to change!"
"We need our country to remember FOR the People! BY the People!"

So, here we are, in the midst of the change.

In the midst of all the change I am watching an interesting phenomenon. The little mind, the habit mind, the body mind wants to latch on to its view, its perspective with a white knuckled grip, "The sky is falling!!!" cries Chicken Little!!! or is it Little Chicken? The fear, the reactivity is tangible, so therefore it must be real, right?
But I can FEEL it!!! the mind screams!!! Demanding attention to the so called fact that the sky is falling, it becomes oblivious to the very existence of where the sky is falling FROM and what it is falling TO. SOMEthing still exists. The mind isnt capable of seeing that view as easily, not without suport, guidance, encouragement, and practice.
I remember when I was a teenager; I would get a pimple, usually in some blatantly obvious place like the end of my nose. I would perseverate about how it was effecting my looks. And the whole while be missing the FACT that the skin was doing a very good job of eliminating toxins from my body. Mind says, "Pimple BAD!", fact is "Pimple GOOD!".

So here we are, in the midst of BIG CHANGE. Mind says "Things are BAD!!", when in the Big Picture, "things are Good". There is a reordering, a reorganization going on from a very High view. And here we are in the midst of it!

This is a GREAT Time to align ourselves with the High View, to set our sights on a broader horizon that includes a re-setting of our direction.

In the morning, welcome the day and all that it brings.

Every reaction, fear, wave of strong feeling is an invitation to let the core energy of that feeling break free and dissolve. No need to act out, or process, let the energy move.

When energy is moving, its a great time to bring the minds attention to the finite details of the body and its inner rhythms; trace the air coming in, register the ribs and diaphragm moving with the breath, feel the pulse in the arteries, the heart.

When the mind wants to embody Chicken Little, brings its attentiveness to the movement in the body; do a thorough inventory of how many ways gravity is effecting you RIGHT NOW. Make it a game, give your mind a clipboard, a white lab coat, and safety glasses!!!

These activities are the beginnings.
There is something that breathes the body, there is something that maintains gravity, there is something that makes the heart pump. THAT Body, the Body of the body is what is slowly and gently entraining the mind.

This gentleness is important. It helps develop Love and Foregiveness.

These are precious times, Good times to be on the Earth. There is MUCH support for us now. Dare to deepen your most Sacred Intentions. Dare to release the burdens of the past, Dare to embody your True Nature as you truly are.

Be Well.

namasté,
Sunny

Gifts of Winter......

2008-12-20T14:45:00.003-08:00

In this contemporary day it is easy to consider the Holiday Season one of Gifts to be given and received from friends and family. Yet there is a depth of offering in this Seasonal Turning, rooted in ancestral genetics pre-historically, bypassing all consumerism whatsoever, unless, of course one wishes to include the invitation and the fact that during the depths of Winter contemplation one can be consumed by the Fire of Light!

Winter; the time for turning inward, to face, and welcome the Darkness. Such beautiful support there is in this Seasons longer nights and darker days! So we go within to the best of our ability. There may be all kinds of thoughts, memories, emotions that once thought 'dealt with', or not. And so they rise, to be seen/acknowledged. And so they rise to be gathered and brought to the Light that is growing and building. We celebrate the return of the Son, the Sun, the Light, the Light of Day. All of it is in the Turning of the Dark to Light.

What an invitation!!!!

Bring up the old forms, rules, and 'ow-ies' from the basement and the attic (literally and figuratively!), lay them all out without remorse or regret and let the Light from within your precious Heart and Soul shine on it, bathed in acceptance, washed in forgiveness, and dissolved in the releasing.

Over and over and over again if that's what it takes.
Oh, it takes more than once?
No Problem!!!
Afterall, when the toilet is clogged, do you only push the plunger ONCE to get the lines cleared??!!!?

Heavens Sake, NO!!!!

Plunge this stuff!!!! Flush it with every bit of Light you've got!
Dont underestimate your resources either, there is more than than you 'think'!!!! (Follow that Riddle!!!)

Flush it clear with full-hearted enthusiasm. And when you feel tired, or tuckered out, know there is a whole legion of Angels cheering for you,
"YEAH!!! GO! GO!!! FLUSH IT OUT!!!! THATA WAY!!!!! GOOD JOB!! WAY TO BE!!!!!!"
or something like that. You'll have to check into your team and see how they cheer you on.

Sometimes when the thick of the clearing is going on, its forgotten there is support and cheering and resources unending. This is a reminder.
There is support.
All the time.
All Ways.
Help yourself remember.
Be active in remembering.

And remember, asking for help is a way of giving a gift;
there is so much help waiting to be asked for, and available once asked for.
Give the gift that keeps on giving;
ask for help.

Blessings from the Blizzard!!!
Precious Winter Turning......

Plutonian Winter ....

2008-12-17T12:53:00.000-08:00

I am burning.
Finding the hardwoods of habit
feeding this fire like rocket fuel and a match
well lit
burning til complete
and then
some more,
or is it
and then
s'mores!!!

The softness of the pause
the gentle cradle of Stillness
Mind says 'aaaaaah....'
then the next wave rises in the tailwind
of Minds stirring.
over and over,
giving every wave to the Vast Void
As though there is nothing else
eheheh, and so it is!

The Old rises
"To GOD!!!!"
The Old rises
"TO GOD!!!!!"
The Old rises
"TO GOD!!!!!!"
the phone rings
a friend
in gratitude
we speak of Stillness
and say no more.

And so it is.
This that speaks
and pores/pours/poors
Poetry no more
fluidity of Forgiveness
Vapors of Old
Mind says its all bunk
has no rhyme
no meter
to pulse
the human
oh, Well.
And so it is.
This Silence Is.

The Splendor of the Moment

2008-12-15T20:51:00.002-08:00

Well.
Yes.
I AM.
Well.
Now, residing in Portland, Oregon.
First winters snow has arrived.
Cold weather for here.
Thank you Colorado, for acclimating me to 'cold'!
This 'cold', THIS cold is only senses responding relatively.
Relative, subjective..... eheheh none of it is True!

Few words for this realm of dissolving.
IF there were to be a report it would say,
"Sunny is no longer with us.
If you see him, know him as the Light You Are!!!

yep, thats All folks!!

Freedom is right HERE......

2008-12-08T21:05:00.001-08:00

So simple.
This
Presence
of Life
Waiting
patiently
for 'me'
to
Remember
Stillness.

And NOW.......

2008-12-06T20:23:00.002-08:00

With each passing touch of the breath that IS
There is less and less to say.
NO one to say it, No one to hear it.

So here, now, breathing.
Yes
NO matter what, yes.
It is all the rising of Life
no matter what, yes.

NO where to 'go'
for I AM HERE.

Call me Grampa Sunny!

2008-11-28T17:05:00.002-08:00

Wow........
Meet Jackson Robert Ragona!!!! (see slideshow to the right)
Bless Joy Boy II arrived safe and sound
Nov 27 3:43 am Bellevue, WA
7# 3oz., 19" long
all parts are present and accounted for!

Precious to be in the room with the already strong bond of Mom, Dad, and Baby.
Driving home tonight I found myself driving slower than usual.
"Hey, I am a Grampa, I am wearing a hat, I can drive as slow as is feasibly safe!!!"

What weird things we carry in our heads!!

In awe of Life
in Heartbreak for opening to Life more and more and more,
such a big powerful Heart-opener in such a small package!!!
and so Life goes, one leaves, another arrives.

Humbly,
Sunny

Ongoing Realizations......

2008-11-23T07:17:00.002-08:00

The Mind so wants to say, "Got it!", "I understand!".
God Bless the Mind, eh!

Thought arises, ideas come and go.
Rather than acting, bring them fully to the raised platform of the Heart. Then in full collaboration with Spirit and Soul, offer the direction/idea from the Heart (not the mind from where it sprang in the first place).

This can be useful when the Mind is over active.
Of course, when the mind is over active it will take over EVERY thing!

Whats being attempted as an offering here is the strengthening of the partnership of Mind and Heart.
Mind isnt the 'Bad Guy', its very undisciplined.
When we have a relationship with the Heart, when there is awareness of the Heart, then it becomes an active partner. It is essential for the Heart to be actively present in order for further development.

I look forward to having face to face conversations with others regarding this Journey!! Let me know what you experience, and your perspectives!

until then,
Sunny

The Ocean......

2008-11-17T17:49:00.002-08:00

"...refuses no river."

High tide has been a wash these past days. Tsunamis welcomed, embraced, dissolved, and wash again.
There can be words that express the process, the experience, and none come close to what IS.

For anyone who is on this Path; growing, opening, dissolving........ God Bless You!!!!

Never ever ever never ever EVER give up!

unless of course there is the giving up of anything that maintains the illusion of there being a 'you' that is not already full of Source/God/Existence.

The old 'owies', the ways we have become due to the 'owies' and how we enveloped ourselves around the 'owie' and the story about the 'owie', all gets to go. What a relief, eh!!!!!!

So let it go, stop all the thinking that says anything about 'you'. Stop.
Let the FACT of what you are flow fully.

DARE!!!!

DOUBLE DARE!!!!!!!

;-)

Heart Wisdom moves.......

2008-11-11T14:23:00.003-08:00

Bring the Heart Wisdom into the mind, through the Mind, refreshed through the Heart, through the body, like warm molasses, it soothes its way through all aspects. As the Flow continues, it also gently expands outward to include what is near, then to include what is further, until there is no 'here' or 'there' to be included.

This Heart Wisdom resides quietly in all Life form, awaiting your call. No Mind is needed to call it, no Mind is needed to receive it, no Mind is needed to embody this Wisdom. Feel Life breathing the physical form and experience the guiding whispers of the Wisdom.

Meet everything from that breath. Life through that Breath. Nothing else is needed.

Here.....

2008-11-10T22:01:00.002-08:00

No matter where the Road may lead,
No matter how the Road may seem,
No matter what the Road may do,

Just Come, Love is Here
Just Come, Love is Here
Just Come.

Love....

2008-11-03T20:27:00.001-08:00

Once touched
I want no Other
This Love is All
Absolute, Final.

Now the Affair begins
In Moment-to-Moments Grace
to find You
in Every Face.

The River Flows......

2008-10-27T11:12:00.002-07:00

I have sat along rivers that run hard and wild
I have floated upon some calm and quiet ones
I have fished the transition places of stillness and movement
and still I wonder at the constancy of the Flow

There is no other place to be than right HERE
there is no other time to be than NOW
theses things we know
and know and know

And when it is complete in us
there is no longer any need to Know
for the Knowing is complete
and the embodiment is All inclusive

All that said, I sit right now in a place where the river has run firm and strong enough to stir up the silt, the waterlogged flushout from storms long ago, long settled deep in the river bed crooks and crannies. Elemental Water, always seeking its own level, always flowing to the Ocean; which refuese NO river, NO RIVER is refused by the Ocean.

Then what is it in 'me' that seems to feel refused, held back, not included?

The only thing that can have that view is that which is not True.

And how do I receive those sensations?

Through the senses of the body.

okay, so the body feels these things and then they are received and interpreted through comparative thinking in the brain/mind.

The body is the densest. yup.

And i am using the densest aspect of this physical life existence to interpret Life?

hmmm, thats like, uhm, going to a glacier and chipping the hardest ice to get a drink of water because i am thirsty....... not quite actual in the metaphor, but you get the idea?

Clearing is happening in this process.
Will I clear enough in this Lifetime to be of true Service?

So what if I dont know, but I feel like some point has been passed that requires some conscious awareness of 'place', 'activity', 'intention', 'focus'.

I remember years ago at a Lorena McKennet concert as she introduced her band, expressing her repect for their high talent, she referred to them as 'idling porsches'.

I feel like an idling Volkswagen!! eheheh, aircooled for sure (as evidenced by loving to sleep outside!)

This commentary is more a 'report' than coming to any conclusion. For those of you who have been following this Journey, and participating and contributing to it so richly, I send a BIG 'THANK YOU"!!! So it could be whole different report this afternoon after I replant the iris, hang the laundry, set up the Excel spreadsheet, eat some lunch, and continue to look for employment.

hmmm, I feel is minutely shifting already. See? this is why I say 'Thanks'! Knowing this is being shared, writing from here, humbled by what is required.......

Thank you.

Many Blessings,
Sunny

Bowing to THAT.....

2008-10-24T11:03:00.005-07:00

As some of the photos reveal; One of Oregons best kept secrets is the brilliant Light and splendid colours of Fall. (shhhh dont tell anyone!!!!)

Thanks to those who let me know your following this Blog, this 'conversation' is fertilizer and fuel for us all! Deep gratitude for this form of communication and support.

How does one use words in a language that does not vibrate with the truth of this realm of Source/Love/God?
whew... more and more the question of how to express authentically this radiating ongoing waves of movement of essential resonating in this thing called a body.
Bare/Bear with me, here goes.....

As a lighthouse sits built strong on bedrock at the edge of the cliff radiating outward farther than it can ever know possible to communicate, to convey to any who need to know where the edges are, this body has been built on, and with Love. It radiates well. In the human travels there has been many choices made over the decades that retracted the intensity, that covered or shielded the Light (the 'why' seems unnecessary right now), the commitment and vow is to unveil and reveal.
With each conviction to the Court of Love another shield, cape, cloak, cover drops away. Each Wave that courses through here runs more free, like a well cleared creek bed, relieved of the congestion of decades of log jams, the waters run free and clear(er). Each wave clears the way for the next layer to be washed clean and clear. Relatively speaking I am about squeaky clean as i ever thought I could be!!! And immediately it is Known this is only the beginning, and there is no one here under these cloaks and capes and covers other than the Love that has been here all along.
The physical body, dense as it is, is catching up to this realization; Love washes through and I am in tears, spilling from my eyes with such a free fall to nearly match any of the beautiful waterfalls of Oregon Columbia Gorge! (When you come to visit, be sure to leave time for stopping at at least TWO of them!!!!)
I dont know anything any more. What a relief. And what is Known is the Presence. Here. Now. Always available every moment. Every Winters Wave of emotion given over complete. And this one, and now this one. Not even turning to name the emotion, or the story, the flotsam and jetsam of the life experience that brought it to the surface. The Waves wash. Over and over.
Simplified, stupified, cleansified, sweetified, purified, clarified.
over and over.
This Lighthouse is shining; whether or not there are any boats 'out there' needing the Light or not. I am built for this; to SHINE.
And so I do, and AM.
And, so it IS.

By golly, the Beatles were right;
Love is All there IS.

Love and Peace to the World,
Sunny

Arriving at the Threshold

2008-10-07T20:36:00.003-07:00

I must admit I thought I had 'gotten' quite a bit,
the systems, the language, the inner states
All were available on my Spiritual Plate.
One thing had been forgotten,
perhaps was never known,
that arriving to the table
was to Begin the Unknown.

Never lacking an appetite
Always willing to graze
The Food of the Soul
Set my Heart a blaze!

Munching for hours on a delectable bite
could fill me with comfort for most of the night.
Absorbed as I was with this Hunt for the Truth
I held myself back by an sly inner Sleuth
Who seemed to think the hunt itself
was the goal and the path to realize ones Self

Appetizer and snack and side dish all gone
I had found myself hungry long before Dawn.
This mornings rising was more basic than bread
each cell washed clean through body and head.

The Main Meal is now cooked and I along with it
Nutritional balance in every ingredient
Nothing fancy or fine or rich or creamy
But guaranteed the best in any seekers dreamy
imaginings of growing up to the Light
And finding Yourself right there the Whole Time!!

Poetry is stumbly no matter how stated
This persistence of looking is now sated
Nothing is there that wasnt before
And nothing is here that came through the door!

Washed clean, and fed, cozy and warm
I welcome this Heart that I have always worn
I hum a sweet tune with familiar refrain
Sweet dreams to us all again and again

Keep it simple keep it soft
Keep your Light ON high aloft
Breathe it into your weary hard working mind
Breathe it into the World time after time

Now you see it, Now you see
no matter whats been said or done
Get the jist and the habit
of Your Light Shining with Fun

No reason not to embrace deeply
This song of your Heart
and sing it so sweetly
that your weariness melts
and your cares all dissolve
Try it some more and you will evolve.

The Secret is this,
that when we reside
in the Flow of the Love that is always inside
Our systems, our owies,
our narrow minds view
is all melted away
to reveal.......
Yup
the Real You!!!!!

I feel silly tonight. Lighthearted and soft.
Something has been realigned in me
(wiht a LOT of help from my Friends!!)
Peeling away layers of old self decorating, like removing layers and layers of old wallpaper. layer after layer , softened with steam, and prodding, and gentle firmness. I am peeling away.
Nothing is being Lost. Nothing at all. Something though is being found as the layers fall away... that something is a tone I remember *hearing* as a child and a young adult, and moments since then, moments when my Soul would visit.
For some folks who are reading this, I know I am 'catching up' to where you've been for quite some time, for others I am the Canary in the Coal mine- going in and seeing if I live. Whatever it is for you as you read this, I want to lean over and gently whisper in your ear,
"Every time you breathe, you breathe nothing less than God/Source (call it what you need to), and the sweetest thing right now is to give it to your body, bathe your nervous system with it, then breathe it our and bathe everyone else in it. We cant breathe 'wrong'!! (can we??!!?)
Give the gift of breath, to your self, to those around you, to every moment you feel perturbed, or tired, or cranky, or joyous, or content, or happy, or scared. Take a Breath Bath!!! Soak in it!!!
Keep it simple; Breathe.
Know I send Love.
And a gentle hand, All Ways.

Sunny

Bathing in the Flow

2008-10-01T21:02:00.002-07:00

THIS
Sweet Simplicity of Oneness
No theory, no philosophy or ideal
THIS is tangible Presence
The All Flowing
Bathing every cell to Solution
Transforming, Trans- forming
Forming to the Formless
THis is not talk of some teaching
this is not speaking of some known
esoteric understanding
THIS is what I AM
THIS

Seasons Shifting......

2008-09-22T17:33:00.003-07:00

I am chipping away at putting the yard and gardens to bed here. The air is calling of Winters breath. Moon in Cancer, quiet, inward, contemplative.

As layers of insulation are sifted away, there comes a softness that welcomes the softness in You. A whisper of seeing through the veils we put before ourselves, seeing the Lightness of Being each is. Even in the face of emotional reactivity, the sight has a whisper of availability.

This semi-monastic life (watching movies in the evening evokes the 'semi' of semi-monastic!), is inviting and inviting to explore. For days now I keep seeing how I think that because i am here, that is what is needed. And yes, Being here is what is needed. But it seems also in that is a bit of complacency, or laziness, or ... ?....... .

I am here to give myself fully to the Opening; to embody the Opening. For s long time I had thought I was opening to God or Source, always something different than 'me'. Now though, it seems what is happening now anyway is that that which has been inside of me all the while is getting more to the front seat, more easily available for the daily living. It's strong, its subtle, its simple, its profound.

Words are tricky in the sense they evoke for each of us some association, some personal meaning, which more often or not we assume everyone else agrees with us. HA! and we wonder why there are so many misunderstandings! God, we humans are funny things.......

What happens if I sit quietly for a few minutes in a very safe, private, protected, quiet place and listen for the whisper of who I Am? What happens if I drop all the language and concepts about God, Source, Enlightenment, Awakening, Now and remember who I was as a very little child. Even in the face of the childhood I signed up for I have recollections of quiet moments and KNOWING who I was, feeling totally at peace- inside and out. Those moments might have been fleeting, so what? We aren't here to have a merry-everything-is-hunky-dory Life, we are here for our Souls to Grow! But way back there, and moments along the way I can remember a whiff of something; it wasn't 'outside' of myself, it wasnt 'inside' of myself, it just WAS.

That the stuff I am feeling here and there more often now. I am not gonna call it anything. Well, maybe I'll call it 'Life-Juicy'! being in that place, that state sure as heck alters what Life feels like.

I hope this finds anyone/everyone who is reading this curious a bit. I know we all have a our comfort zones and familiarity with what we 'understand'. Maybe that is all that is needed. Maybe there is something in a quiet moment that is both familiar and fresh. If I totaly give into what I think is real, what is familiar (even in the face of 45 years now of study, training, practice, and investigation!), I get the sense that I am stopping short of a possibility, an opening, an releasing into ..... Life. Life as it truly Is. Life for what is Really Is. Life itself, Life Itself, meeting Itself! So I invite myself to be a bit curious about RIGHT NOW. Can you sense it? There is something awaiting your quiet attention. I invite you........

So I am putting the garden beds to bed for the Winter, and I am gently putting concepts to bed to compost into more usable fuel for the Growth into Spring. The compost bin is loaded with worms, the greatest transformers, so I gently add my organic matter of minds ideas, of associations, of anything that is not rooted in the Soil of my Soul. I am here for that, to Grow Soul; vines weaving like the joyous blackberry bush into every moment of the Life of this human!

Blessings and namasté,
Sunny

No need.....

2008-09-15T19:47:00.002-07:00

whew...... look into your life and see what needs there are, what need makes you behave, think, act, feel the way you do. they all over the bloody place!!!!!
This morning I cried. I cried from the rush of Freedom of the pent up/hold me down/back me up against the wall NEED.
Then I cried some more, I was so happy to let this go I didnt even want to wipe the tears away!!!

All these years , " I 'need' to sing, I 'need' to paint, etc etc blah blah blah.'
Afraid to let go of the need cuz I thought I would sing, or paint, or create........
This morning the clarity.... and affirmation. Go ahead and paint and sing and drawe and create!!!!! just dont do it from a 'need' place, do it from a celebration and Oneness place!!!!
duh! oh Planet Earth is for Slow Learners a friend once told me.

Just thought I 'd pop by and let ya know whats up!
;-)

Disolving ... and dis-solving

2008-09-12T21:20:00.002-07:00

"Flowing Like a river
from the mountain to the sea
the rush of fertile waters
running through me." -sm (and probably 10,000 other folk singers!)

And so it is in me, this Love that flows freely and richly.

Until this morning there was always this large basalt like block of dense darkness just off to the side. Not budging, not giving way, not moving, not glowing. Nothing doing.
This morning the Flow of God/Presence/Source flowing pouring into, through, out of me. Unstoppable (like I would want that!!!), and there just off toward the side, in full view, this black dense column of yuck.
"what the heck is this!!!!!???" (oh, FINALLY! some curiosity here!!)
As Curiosity lead the examination there was revealed this sadness of feeling as though a promise to God had been sorely broken. 'I do', "YES!" for me, was to God, to promise to bring God into everything to the best of my ability, and I felt I had let 'Him/Her/It' down down down. REALLY down, like irreparable. So Love could flow but it couldnt be fully offered anymore because i had failed when I had most promised.

So this block had formed; block of rock, block the flow. Its all the same. Until this morning.

This morning, Curiosity softly examined the edges, the textures, the shapes and the form of it, and the Flow of Love conintues to wash over, through, and around it and me. And the edges turned rounder, the sides became pourous, the material became perferated. And quickly and slowly it let go of all the places it was glued, nailed, welded and molded. The pieces slipped into the waters flow and bobbed and disolved down the river of Energy That I Am.

All day I find I am able to FULLY Love. No constraints on the emanation for fear of tainting someone's auric field. Only a full soft sweet enveloping of All that Is. So sweetly simple. And all day the world sweetly singing, humming, glowing, shining, ordinarying.

No 'me' feeling 'it', no 'me' observing.
Just Be.
And so I Am.

Seasons Shift

2008-09-09T12:19:00.003-07:00

This time of year brings a sensing of the Shifts arising; the movement to Harvest time, the change of Light at days end, the cool of the morning, the body setting things aside in preparation for Winter (God loves the Squirrels!).

Also in the air is the Breath of Life calling itself to the foreground. More often interpreted as an urge for one more outing, the last camp-out, one more swim at the swimming hole, all of those activities are precious for what they are, but what is the Desire lying beneath the human sense of pleasure?

There is an invitation about us, a whisper of something beckoning our Hearts to Open. Valentines Day is a drive-by of romanticism (no harm there!) compared to this Invitation.
Bring it on! Open up ALL the way. Dare to Show Up as my friend Susans joyous invitation taunts me. Drop the cloaks of disguise/DisSkies, spread the wings of Heartness, Be Lifted, be Loved, Be Love.

Oh, right, all that Love talk. We have heard it so much it has become diluted (deluded, perhaps?), watered down beyond the sappy syrup of some known meaning inside the recesses of this Life's Experience. What the heck is it anyway?

Who knows. To be honest with you, rather than go through paragraphs of internal discussion and dialog, which I find can easily become a mere slick sabotage of distraction for being with this delightful, de Light Full experience of feeling Life pulse through this body, I would prefer to come to the activities of daily Life full and spilling over with this Flow, to step into the deep end For Ever.

It is one thing to know the words, the language, the actions, the behaviors the rituals the sayings. That is a beginning. Then it seems necessary to come to know that none of that is true. But to come to the knowing of it not being true there had to be coming to it as though it were true.
Could this also be more sabotage of Beingness? or is this helpful in some way?

Over the decades of investigation there was hearing something, being smart enough to get the first couple layers accurately, then acting according to the first couple of layers. The trick is to keep investigating until all investigation is complete. Then, yup, then there is only one thing to 'do'....... Be. period. Be.

This investigation is often supported with physical pain. Masochistic? naw, just human, a bit dense, sensory rooted, and thorough in the research! For the last 4 days a three rooted molar has been my guru; waves of pain (on the 0-10 scale = 12 -14). When receiving the sensations from the human brain perspective the reflex was of course 'get away'. Which immediately brought the gift of more pain, intense claustrophobia, and tightening of muscles I had no idea were involved in the jaw! Okay, according ot a previous teaching, I have come to the body!!!!!!

Then Grace offers an option; this is a perfect time to check out if, in fact, Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source welcomes EVERY thing. IF in fact EVERYTHING is welcomed. This is a kind of a trick question, 'cuz the only way to gather insight into it is to shift from 'person hurting' to 'person Full of God Self'.

Lo' and Behold, shift is made and energy is full, Present, and Still. Sensation in physical body is body physical sensation drinking from the Vastness of Presence. Period. wow.....

And all this time I had 'thought' 'I' had to feel 'good' to let Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source be available. So backwards I was the words, concept and action was inside out like a hastily removed sock!

Find the truth within that Life/Spirit/God/Love/Source is flowing, available RIGHT NOW. Some part of the humanness of you Knows That. Be That. And from That comes All.

This is the Invitation; Shift to who you truly Are. There is no need to know ahead of time who or what that is; begin, make it an incremental turning, degrees of your choosing, allow the Bright One within to shine forth. throughout your day, with EVERY one, with everything that comes before you. Gather the data of the ongoing experience and give it to your Heart. Fall in Love with the One you Are.

At the end of each day, take a look at what unfolded, check out where those sweet surprises of connection effervesced into your day. Follow that route/root of Life daring to come forth. Gently and Lightly let the Light One take the lead in all your interactions. I dare You to Show up!!

This Seasonal Shift offers a Harvest of a Lifetime!

Let me know how it Flows!!!

Blessings,
Sundaram Sunny

Coming to the Body....

2008-08-27T20:32:00.002-07:00

The Mind is so quick to interpret: "oh, yes, 'body', I know THAT", etc etc etc. I type this because this is what I see happen in this cranial vessel over and over and over again. A word, a phrase, automatically Mind 'thinks'. Whew first troublesome spot right there!
Trouble, no trouble. It doesnt matter. Investigation continues, invited and welcomed with curiosity.
Today the experience of something vast (so big it seems appropriate to write in large letters; V A S T!!!) gently entering this physical body, from crown, through head, past throat, expanding Heart, and slowly, everso gently nudging past the internal gate keeper of belly/will. The approach was so gentle, so respectful and irresistible there was a softening of the guard placed there so long ago.
A taste of Presence filling the first two chakras. There have been 'drive-bys' of Presence in Belly and pelvic region but this, this felt different. It was a filling, a fulling, a full-filling feeling. Complete with the Guard also easing.
Dinner came soon after, and didnt sit well. An hour walk down the country road where I now reside, strong steps, soft steps seemed to assist in anchoring something of this new movement in lower body.
Poor Mind doesnt know what to do with it! Thank GOD!!!
This may be familiar territory for most, I dont know. It is an aspect awakening for me. Paradoxical, from the 'I' that truly resides in this physical form there is an 'of course!' that there would be Presence in the body. And the clarity and recognition of Source Present again is 'of course'. There seems to be something of import to the experience, the knowing of the sensation, of knowing what is moving, and what is still, and what is healing. And none of it my 'doing'!
Yes, yes, YES, and YES!!! I say, and Yes again and again.

Blessings to us all as we come to Know who we truly are.
May all Beings Know Peace and the Roots of Peace,
Sunny Sundaram

A New Beginning.....

2008-08-18T22:00:00.003-07:00

This is my first night in my room here at HeartGate Sanctuary in Hood River, Oregon.
The ring of resonance and clarity of me being here in this community is deep and strong.
Postings are not about the 'where' I am, they are a reflection of my inner process, and what is alive in me as Life Unfolds.

It's late, I am sleepy, and happy, and humming with a precious simplicity of being in the Flow.

Blessings and Blessings abound,
Sunny Sundaram

A funny story.....

2008-08-13T22:53:00.003-07:00

As I was driving out of Hood River yesterday heading to Portland, I passed a sign for mini storage. Made sense to stop in and find out the charges and sizes available.

I went to the office door, "CLOSED" said the sign, "I am in appointments and unable to find back up staff. The gates are open today, I'll be back tomorrow."

Okay, says I, the gates are open. I'll go in an check it out, see how it feels.

Sure enough the gate is open, I drive in, peruse the grounds and the layout, determine it would work for my needs, turn the car around and head back out.
ohho, 'out' now has a closed gate across it!!!

I pull up to the asphalt right in front of the gate. Nothing happens.
I go to the keypad box and push some arbitrary numbers, the 'CALL MANAGER' Light flashes.
hmm, yes good idea, call the manager.

A gentleman is walking past, I gesture through the bars of the gate, "Can you come here a moment?"
He walks over with a puzzled expression, "Yes?" His body leans back a bit, away from the gate, away from possible range of my extended hand.
"I've got myself in a bit of a pickle. I am locked in here, and have no way out. Would you go to the office and see if there is a phone number on the door or window that I might call to get out of here?"
"sure." says the kind man.
Upon return he reports there is no number.

hmmm.......

Oh wait! There is a Security Systems number on the gate!!! with a phone number! yea! I'll call them!! (beginning to feel the first wave of gratitude for technology and a cell phone in my hand!)

ring, ring.....
"Hello, I accidentally got stuck INside a gate that has this phone number on it. Can you help me?"
"No, we would have to have a call from the manager in order to open the gate."
"The manager is not here."
"We cant open the gate without the managers request."
"Can you call the manager?"
"No, we dont have his number."
"Do you have any suggestions of what I can do?"
"Maybe you can call the cops."

okay......
I wait for 20 minutes hoping someone would be coming into their storage unit. nope, no traffic.

Feeling a lot of gratitude for technology, that I have a phone to use, I call Ryan in Bellevue, who looks online for the Hood River non emergency police department number.
Bingo!
I call, explain my predicament, the dispatcher takes my name and number, "Can I call you back in a minute?"
hmm, is there any other answer but , "Yes!".
a minute goes by......
the phone rings,
"Do you see a yellow keypad box near the gate?"
"Hallalujah, yes!"
She gives me the code, I punch it in and the gate opens.
Free at last, my god I'm free at last!!!!!

Makes me laugh!!
Hope this gives you a good chuckle and some great visuals!!

Drink the Giggles!
Sunny

The Origami of Life......

2008-08-13T10:52:00.002-07:00

Life folds this way, unfolds that way, folds over here, unfolds over there. Am I the crease? Am I the paper? and I the hands?

With Origami, folding and unfolding with care reveals a new form, a new manifestation. Made from the same stuff, nothing has been changed.

There is a 'YES' ringing in me to drop the layers and return to simplicity.

Pray
Listen
Do what I am told.

Bringing the bent over shadow to upright posture, there is Light.

few words right now rise.
Many blessings, much love.

Sunny

Angels answer........

2008-08-06T09:30:00.003-07:00

Standing in line at the Licensing Office to get my drivers license this morning, I had some conversation with St. Michael. Part of this conversation was internal as a result of reading from the Pocket Reader Tibetan Buddhism, from Shambhala Press ( I LOVE these little books!), and part of it was from conversation with a local gent.
Investigation continues as to where disconnect from Self activates, and the ongoing awareness that the outer experience is a shadow of the inner experience, this mornings waiting in line was a good opportunity to be with the sensations of the Body, the activity of the Mind, and the arising of Heart.
The compression that is bubbling through is amazing. In the physical realm there is compression of the density and movement of people. Mind is, hmmm, teetering, yes, thats a good description right now. Teetering back and forth, to and fro. HA! Like the blow up clown with the heavy weight in the bottom that a child might punch and hit and it pops back to center... mostly! Riding that Bobble is honing something that is being strengthened and softened simultaneously. Seeing it, not going with it, being with it, remembering over and over it is not real.
I am aware of the formula; thought -> feeling -> action/behavior, watching the thoughts come and go, watching how quickly the Mind informs the Feelings, and the body so quickly and willingly responds. And not 'going with it'.

This is the ride I am on for these days, walking in Two Worlds. My prayer could be distilled to:
"where's my peeps!??!"
"Show me where you want me!!"
"Help!"

So conversation with St. Michael invited increasing posture of receptivity, remembering, and re-remembering this Moment is what IS, shifting my weight slightly side to side, bring the Body into view. This activity softened the Heart.
Turning to the gent in line next to me, "Good morning."
A smile that lit up, eyes twinkling, "Well, good morning to you Sir!"
Aaaah, connection with this other manifestation of Life. Thank you!

We chatted about the process of moving. He reminded me to not complain of the weather, it will lead to complaining about the weather, then one is complaining, and miserable. Better to not complain, he says. I needed THAT reminder! Gave me something to work with as Winter comes.
Business completed there, leaving the building I thank him for his conversation and wisdom. The handshake is firm, and warm. Welcoming.

Finding the library down the street I set up laptop at a large table and go online. A young man soon sits down with laptop.
"Is that a crescent moon tattooed on your wrist?" his eyes lit up.
"Yes, a reminder of the much needed Goddess presence. More now than ever, doncha think?"
"yes!!!", he says,"!Oh, we are few and far between here on the Eastside, good to meet you. I my self am a Celtic Warrior."
Lifting his shirt he reveals a beautiful and finely done Celtic cross in Celtic Green centered over his heart.
"Where does one find others here?" Michael's warm hand rests calmly on my left shoulder.
"aah, there's a shop. I cant remember the name, but I can draw you a map, and they can lead you to what is needed."
Map in hand, my email addy in his, I sit here. Eased, stunned, softened tears of release and relief.
Michaels hand remains, as he gently steps to the background, always supportive to allow whatever experience is chosen.

This terrain in which I am traveling is far more than I can comprehend. I can only report from moment to moment.
With Gratitude for the Internet, and the form in which I can paradoxically be in deep privacy, in the middle of a mall, talking to I Dont Know Who, revealing this Journey, revealing my Self to myself. Safe, vulnerable. Precious.

Humbly yours,
Sunny Sundaram

Such a Dance!!!

2008-08-05T08:51:00.002-07:00

Seems the strong point in Life is connecting. Seems the weaker point is getting the ground where connecting happens!

Every day, every moment is a possible moment to Realize Awareness, to manifest Life fully, (hmmm, nice word; 'Lifefully'). With the activities of looking for home, for place to participate in the Financial Energy Exchange (yes, there does appear to be a FEE!!! eheheh!!!!), I get to see the hundreds of ways Sunny believes the relative world as real. Not so, again and again, the shift from the asleep state to an awakened one can be made in a fraction of a nano second. A good practice.

Some say the Soul incarnates to learn particular 'lessons' in order to develop. I wonder, if that is true, what is it my Soul is trying so hard to learn, and am I in the way? and what does that 'in the way' really look like? or is it learning what is needed no matter what 'I' do? Like velcro, I 'think' (error #1) 'If I do something ' then I can turn it around, there wont be struggle (who IS struggling anyway?).
Like a large knotted bundle of yarn full of stickers, I am unraveling, and not unraveling. Maybe I am suppose to be raveled?
A small voice in me whispers,
{{{{{ 'now is the time to drop it all, just wait, there is nothing to do, and no one to do it!'}}}}}
WHOA!!!!! who is gonna find the job? locate the housing? find the Kirtan?
Slow down there, all of that is not HERE in this Moment. All future tripping. So THIS Moment,
hmmm, lets check ......
There is strong sense of underlying Ground, the deep stillness beneath the roar of traffic. That/This connects everything. Mind quiets, and actually agrees (wow!! imagine THAT!!!).
And Heart, this Center of Child Innocence, precious guidance that always resonates with sweet Openness. Heart is at ease.
So I find right now the whole physical system says 'Yes" there is truth to this Moment. No one has to do anything.
That is all well and fine in the face of sitting here in the Issaquah Library writing to whom ever will read this, but what about 'out there'? I cannot accept that there is truth to it until I see there is truth in every Moment. That is the Truth I seek, the truth that applies to EVERY thing. So apparently I have just found my next homework assignment.

The Sacred Dont-Know

2008-08-03T18:37:00.002-07:00

I have written a couple a paragraphs, reread them and seen they spoke clearly but not of this. How does one write about the Unknown??!!! Ha!!!! LOL!!!!! ROF!!!!!
So I begin with where I am;
In the density of high populated area, I have brief refuge at son Ryans apartment with his dear pregnant wife, Kelcey. 'Refuge' is sweet and good, 'brief' has deep invitation for watching the Minds willingness to invite fear, anxiety, pressure, mistrust of Source, and discounting of Who Is.
Who needs to go to the movies with all THIS going on right here, front row center!!!
yeHHAAAAA!~!!!
What a precious invitation to stay and continue to deepen immersion into NOW. There truly is no other route, action, perspective. and This Now has everything that is needed. Even the slight whisper of thought to investigate this website, that area, this listing, that phone call.
Everything, EVERY thing that is needed is Within. and the only way to access Within is via the Body in THIS Moment. It is sooo Simple. (Intentionally the word 'easy' is not being used here!)

This body having a sensation; belly tight, small back warm, shoulders cold, etc. Come to that experience, meet it with the gentleness of welcoming a newborn baby, and something moves in the Heart.
Dont take my word for it, check it out for yourself. ( at least a couple hundred times!! )
Let me know if its true for you or not.

Today the image came; here is one guy going ahead, or deeper into the cave, or higher on the mountain, or just around the corner, etc.. He checks it out thoroughly, then comes back and reports to his buddies.
"This is what I saw, this is what I felt, this is what I learned."

This is what this Blog is about; I am exploring some pretty fine terrain. Some of us have ben there and know it well, some of us havent seen it at all as yet. I am reporting back to you what my experience is being.
If it helps you, Great. If it doesnt help you Great.
(the only way to know if something has helped or not is to try it out!)
Thanks to all of you who have sent comments.
This is a good exercise to write about such nontangible territory.
I benefit.
May we all benefit from the Journeys we share with one another!

Til the Next Entry,
May all Beings Know Peace and the Root of Happiness
Sunny Sundaram

More significant, less words

2008-08-01T09:06:00.003-07:00

Leaving Portland this morning and driving today into Bellevue, arriving to the place where all my belongings are.
There is a lot of energy within; 'excitement', some 'wariness', some 'curiosity'.
And mostly this void openness of 'no difference', nothing new, nothing the same, and none of it matters. It is all merely the movement of the physical realm for the next steps of manifesting.

Using this Blog has been supportive, I will continue to reveal the Journey as it unfolds.
For the next aspect is the densest part! Human and Soul united in the Human life!
What a pleasure to participate in this....
Be Well,
Sunny/Sundaram

Listening........ an art.

2008-07-30T14:18:00.002-07:00

Today, walking along streets totally unfamiliar, I passed a Care Facility (in the olden days NURSING HOME).
I kept walking.
There was the tiniest of whispers, "Go visit."
In a much more loud and familiar voice, "I dont know anyone there, I dont have the slightest idea of how to get in. What would I do? What do I have to offer?"

Where did that whisper come from? Certainly not my own ideas of how to be in the world. Certainly not from some assignment by a teacher (eheheh).
But it came.
When the recognition of the FACT the thought came outside of my own thinking, it became 'guidance'.
So I found the front door.
I walked in, a ringing dinging bell announcing the arrival of someone.
Immediately I was met by the receptionist, "yes, sir, may I help you?'
"I was wondering if there is someone here who would like a visit? I have worked in the past as Activity Director, I know visitors are rare."
"I cant think of anyone of hand. Thanks for coming by."
Walking down the driveway, I wondered about the direction to go in and realized yet again, it is not about the outcome, it is not about 'doing' something. It is time and time again about following directions.
I also saw that I did not offer to play the piano.
Goofish me, to not offer the atmosphere of contemplative connection with that which is All of Life.

And so the Journey continues, continually deepening this experiencing of Life working with the guideline of;
Pray
Listen
Do what I am Told

With much gratitude for the community with which I share this precious Journey!
Sunny Sundaram

The Joy of Life

2008-07-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

A quiet seed
Gentle rain
Soft Light
Its God Again

In every face
in all the 'I's
with every voice
no surprise

The breath of Now
this moments Life
dissolves the veil
tween Love and Strife

Precious few
and every one
all flowing deep
within the One

Daring to Show up.......

2008-07-30T00:26:00.002-07:00

This week Portland is the territory in which to meet the Divine.
Having lived here years and years ago, it is also the place to meet old history and some past messes!

The guideline for each town or city visited on the Journey has been,
"what is needed to feel complete with this location?"
For two days a quiet yet persistent niggle has vibrated in belly region.
Doing an errand to day took me to the old neighborhood. With one household in particular I have carried some long time heart ache regarding incomplete, sad interactions and departure.
"Maybe I'll drive by and see if I can find the house."
Bingo! there is the house!
"hmm, I'll park on the street and reflect on the events."
Oh, something else is needed. Reflection for years leads to feeling sad, some guilt, some shame.
"ok, I'll go to the door."
WHAT??!!!?
You dont know what to say??!!
They have a right to shut the door in your face!!!
Leave well enough alone, for the gods sake!!!
{{{ by this time I am truly shaking in my boots.
It would be 'easy' to turn around and walk away}}}
Now I am walking up the steps onto the porch,
"i'll knock and maybe no one is home."
{{there is a doorbell ringer right there, RING IT!!}}}}
I press the door bell, heart pounding, belly tight, foot steps coming, me full of fright!
"Yes?"
"HI, I am here to make some amends to you."
{...........L O N G ..........PA U S E .............}, "Sunny?!?"

We talked for a half hour, it didnt take long.
Two people willing to 'show up', to be with what was happening right then.
I left feeling Free, and humble.

Showing up, no planning, no concepts or agenda. Showing up, here, NOW.
This is the pathway, the portal that will bring us to what is Real RIGHT NOW.

We ARE the Ones We are Waiting For.

You are cordially invited to show up to the rest of your Life, one moment at a time.
Please RSVP!!!!

Love Being, Being Love,

Sunny Sundaram

no where to 'go'.....

2008-07-27T21:59:00.003-07:00

Moments pass, the view varies, the companionship alters, the Light of day shifts subtly to the Glow of night. and nothing changes! Each moment enlivened by Presence. each connection embraced by the simple existence of All that Is.

How can it be that the 'I' that thought it was, simply ....dissolves into nothingness/ No Thing Ness?
This that used to be hidden is now revealed,
this that used to hide now shines,
this that thought it was,
is not!
and Life, this Isness
is left
looking at itself,
laughing
joyously.

The human aspect; call it mind, ego, personality
just as it is suppose to be, goes about its activity and expression, clueless or not, Life happens via the human form. No 'right' or 'wrong', it is Life being active in the field of form!

oh, Happy Day
for the Grace
of Life
Here
Now.

Sweet Dreams,
Sunny Sundaram

Vibrating the Web

2008-07-26T07:11:00.002-07:00

'Friendship', that delicious territory of connection that requires nothing, gives so much, and is enlivened by interaction is sweetened by the simplest activity; eye contact, listening, sharing. AAAH, the preciousness of coming ot these dear friends after years of Life elsewhere and finding that 'no time' has passed. The laughter, the joy, the tears, the shared moments of Life and how it effects us is such a gift!

Traveling north, visiting family, friends, Heart-family, I am enriched and amazed by the repeated recognition of how Life has chosen to manifest in all these forms, attitudes, views, perspectives and opinions! How often have we gotten 'caught' by our experience of someone having a different opinion or perspective or attitude and 'thought' that was important?

It is not easy to find the words to express this awakening of something that sees all of Life as just that; All of Life. It is simple, it is unnameable, it is rich, it is full of ease, it is fearless.

This is precious, this Journey of Oneness, experiencing Stillness on the Move. The one called Sunny is dissolving into the One we all are.

May we all remember......

Sunny/ Sundaram

What is 'memory'?

2008-07-20T08:19:00.002-07:00

WOW.
Spending time two days in a row with cousins with whom I have spent little time in this life. In the conversation, the shared time, there is some underlying vibration of connection that resounds deeply. Fascinating.
As I sat with Cousin Kat, repeatedly seeing glimpses of expression and body language that recalled familiarity, recognition, resonance. We had seen one another perhaps a dozen or so times in our childhood; brief, yet apparent significant visits til we were 12 years old. She, 3 months older than I, felt the quake of the immediate and permanent separation that descended upon our childhood lives unexpectedly as I did; to the core.
For years we had no idea where the other was, until only 1 year and half ago when we (7 cousins total) from 4 different disconnected realms of lives) found one another and began reconnecting.
Experiencing the time together yesterday was a continual thread of connection. This called Sunny was meeting an aspect of Self; eye to eye, Heart to Heart, and welcoming the meeting. The longing that had been identified as 'missing' the cousin, was met in the moments of connecting to the Essential Being embodied in Cousin!
Precious!
And so the Journey continues......
Being Love,
Love Being,
Sunny

Tracks and Roots

2008-07-19T07:43:00.002-07:00

There are many avenues in which we can yet again meet ourselves; though our own minds idea of who we are, through the eyes of friends and family, and through experiencing the experience.
DAY 3, 4, 5 have been rich in the realm of remaining Still in the activity of being with family. Such precious meeting has enriched my life, deepening the knowledge that regardless of the history of this individual life, there is a a broad avenue of connection available fertile in the Now.

'Family', that powerful word has evoked a multitude of 'states' in me over the years. Presently though it is an open door, inviting in the sweetest of connection- perhaps in spite of the past, or perhaps due to the shared pasts- I am traveling into the realms of weaving new to my Heart, and so familiar the hunger for it finally being sated!

Sister, nephew, cousins; aaaaah! We each carry some familiar genetic wiring that mirrors to one another the same DNA step ladder; a blessing and a curse- old ways says don't walk under the ladder, its unlucky, and new ways suggest to utilize the ladder to step up to another plane, another realm, another level. The view is wider, the light a bit brighter.

The weaving continues today. My cousin Kathy and I meet for the 'first' time as adults. Last seen 47 years ago, we both are excited, anxious, wondering, curious, and yes, hungry for the connecting and how it may fill in some gaps in the history of our family.

Time and time again, experience confirms the fact that when there is simply 'being with' whatever the experience, there is a richness available that is at the core of this hunger in me. And in that rich terrain of being/Being I meet mySelf.

And the journey continues.

until next time, this is Sunny McHale reporting LIVE/LIFE from The Road.

The Sojourn Begins.....

2008-07-15T16:14:00.003-07:00

Day 1 Departure,
A wondrous image; we are all in a caravan, going to the same place, driving a many-laned Freeway. This moving to Seattle area is merely a changing of lanes. No 'leaving'.

Day 2 of this Journey,
Awareness sees itself in all of Life. There is no NOT Seeing.
Yesterday coming out of the Tuba City gas station store, there was a large pool of fluid beneath this vehicle that is new to me. Sunny sees it, "oh, look." NO reaction, no nothing other than seeing the physical manifestation of liquid beneath the car. Check the liquid, its water. Open the hood, everything looks fine. Go down the street two driveways, ask the mechanic, who says "Its normal condensation from your air conditioning." I am back on the road. Being with what arises, responding as is needed without reactivity. What a blessing.

Flagstaff, dinner and evening with KC. Beautiful conversation. Dissolving the structure of 'belief', revealing experience of the physical body as it becomes more a vehicle for the Soul to experience Itself in physical form. Inviting, investigating, exploring, Knowing.

I show small prints of the paintings completed thus far to several store owners. They all respond openly. I do not ask for contact, or selling in their store. I know where they are suppose to be will be apparent and offered. Like at Dragonfly book Garden in Durango, clearly stated, "these cards must be in the store."
So be it.

This trip, though orchestrated by 'me', is a journey for all of us who desire a Road Trip of openness and opening. I write accordingly.

Stepping confidently into the Unknown

2008-05-09T08:25:00.004-07:00

What a blessing Life is, eh?
So many opportunities to see what we don't know! I love it! well, unless I don't!
Clarity continues to reveal that the one who is liking something, or not liking something has no substance to it.
An example; yesterday, while organizing stuff to get rid off in preparation ofr this Big Relocation Mind got wound up pretty tight with all the tasks that it seemed to think needed 'doing'. The Emotional Body immediately went along for the ride. There was something watching all this take place, awareness observing. Caught in it, I was. Even in the seeing this was happening, I was 'caught' in the Spin Cycle of the Mind.
Gratefully, I have friends who know what is True. I called.
Registering the moments that lead to the Spin Cycle there was a place. a moment where Choice was made. The Choice to go with the identification of 'I'; ahhh, the Moment of Separation!!!!
And the "I' that had to 'do' was examined, tracked, and revealed as .... no-thing, nothing. and The Spin Cycle dissolved!

The assignment now is to register the moment when 'I' arises, manifests, steps foreword. Register that moment, and STOP!!
And the question comes now as I write, from where does that 'I' arise? The moment BEFORE the "I" steps to the foreground, what IS?

hmmm, back to Observation!!!

May all Beings be Happy!!
May all Beings Know Peace!!
May all Beings Know Love!!
May All Beings Know the Depth of Receptivity!!

Stillness and the Task List

2008-05-05T11:15:00.000-07:00

This delicate dance of tending to that which needs to be done from being/Being Moment to Moment. Oh, the Mind has such an activity!! Yet, the simplicity is available, always/AllWays. The simplicity of this Moment; breathing, awareness of breathing. That is all!!! And what is needed arises and is addressed. Poor Mind can not comprehend this, yet as the Moment unfolds with Awareness Present, the Mind participates, not as leader or thinker but as Tool of Awareness.

So preparation continues; belongings sorted, boxes set out for 'give away', keep, sell, ship. Every movement, every pause an arising of Presence. And within the Presence there is full awareness of action needed.

WELCOME

2008-05-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

The act of listening has guaranteed consequences;

guaranteed to instigate change,
guaranteed to surprise,
guaranteed to uncover illusory misconceptions,
guaranteed to reveal Life.

This is a Journal of a Journey of Listening.

What better time to listen than in the Time of upheaval, change, and transformation. There is a freshness available, a renewed curiosity, a sense of unexpected wonder. Yes, this is possible even in the face of the unknown, the painful, the scary, the unwanted.

This particular Listening Adventure almost immediately broadcast three statements;

There is something wrong with living so far (1200 miles) from my kids
I need to be living where I am going to be spending the rest of my Life
I need to be in the Northwest.

I do not necessarily know or understand fully what each of these statements are truly asking of me. I DO know however that I best listen and follow the directions as given. Hence, I have begun the preparations for returning to the Northwest in Mid Summer 2008. That will give me time to acclimate to both the lower elevation and the higher humidity. Hopefully by the time the Winter rains begin I will be 'ready'!

I value the friendship and insights my kids bring into my life view. I benefit from their opinions, attitudes, and perspectives. Each of them (this is an eclectic gathering of people who are 'My Kids' via Heart and Soul connection; Ryan, Kelcey, Jordyn, Katy, Shane, Jesse, Saylor. I want an increase in frequency of contact and a more active interaction in the co-creating of Life.

This move will be the 89th move in this lifetime. I have known 'Home' as a transitory reference point. now there is arising in me a deep, strong hunger to grow and expand my awareness of Life from one point on the planet, one patch of Earth, one frequency and vibration that is a humming reference container for my Human Self to deepen Self Understanding.

The Northwest is Home. I didn't know that before this Listening. I know that now. So I must go Home.

This is my commitment to bring to written form that which verbally expresses fully through me. Knowing there are folks reading this supports me in writing in the manner in which I speak in Circle, in Council, in Prayer, in Satsang.

You are invited to write comments regarding these entries; if they support you in your growth and development, if they confuse you, if you wish to add commentary, if you are not interested other than knowing where and how I AM.

Blessings to us all as we each in our own ways enter into the deeper realms of Listening.